Counting All Things Loss for the Sake Of Christ. Since I've started my internship, this verse has been our "core vision". I never thought about this verse as much in my life, it's something that has birthed within me. I knew that coming to this internship, I would let go of a relationship. I knew that I would lose control of my life and plans and surrender to the father's. I don't promote a doctrine, church, or internship. All I really want to talk about is him, I'm trying to lay hold of him in any tangible way I can. I'm not really good at grasping the concept of our loving father, or laying hold of him. All I have is a weak perception of this loving father, that I've really sook as a child. I'm humbled to think that whatever revelation, vision, or encounter I've ever received has been nothing but a foggy visual of this one we call Yahweh, the unseen triune God. So this verse has been churning in my spirit, and it's something I have to see, know, experience. What would it look like to really full force, go after this God with everything in me until I FINALLY lay hold of this concept- Counting all Things as Loss? What does that look like? And what would that look like in my own personal life? " I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead".Phil 3:10. I've basically come to the end of myself, I've realised anything that I've ever done in my own flesh, has been useless, selfish, and for my own vanity. I hate pride but it creeps up in every area of my life. Even in this blog. For man boasts in the Pride of Life, the Lust of the Flesh, and the Lust of the eyes. Thats why Paul says he puts no confidence in the flesh. I like this quote "The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven't yet come to the end of themselves. We're still trying to give orders, and interfering with God's work within us"-A.W Tozier.

I know I want to do a lot of tangible outward things to prove that I count all things as loss. But this still isn't the case, we could give up everything but if we don't have love it's pointless. I want to come to the end of myself, for Flesh Lusts against the Spirit. But the holy spirit has to empty me, anytime I try to in vain get to this point of cheap grace. Grace in it's fullness loses its authenticity, it loses the purpose in which it was meant for therefore it's abused. And if Grace is abused as something that we in ourselves can obtain, than pride comes in. And we become utterly self righteous. I once met a group of hippies that lived in colonies around America, they seemed to have so much love in their hearts. They welcomed us onto their bus and fed us tea and cookies. They sang songs together in harmony, and did all things in the name of Yeshua. I liked them a lot. Almost so much to the point, of thinking hey I wouldn't mind this hippie life, at least for awhile.. maybe I could visit them someday and stay with them for a long time. But as I sat down to talk to them, they kept trying to convince me to live and join their community, and colony. Like it was the only way, and the only way you could become a TRUE Disciple of Yeshua is if you gave up everything and joined them. They wanted you to sell all your possesions in full committment to their colony and tribe. This might seem to be a self less thought, or a vain attempt to build their own kingdom. I've realised in the most loving communities, churches, or occults that I've come encountered with seem to be full of love and community living. But out of protection of their community living, they take more pride in their group, than they do in the cross and Jesus. I don't care how much of their "love" they say they have, if they don't have love which is ultimately nothing but Jesus then they really have nothing at all. The Hippie I talked to was convinced that you weren't a disciple, or true believer unless you did things their way. I asked him but the Lord has revealed to me I'm supposed to go to this internship for a year, and learn more about him. And in a way I've pretty much giving up a lot things that I've idolised above him. The hippies were contradicting themselves, even though they've given up a lot of material posessions, they still idolized their way, their ministry, their kingdom above Jesus. Their heart wasn't for the father to have his way in the lifes of people. What they conveyed was that they wanted their way in the lives of people. It was vanity to think that they can impose the way they pursuid Jesus on other people. The church keeps being devided on account of everyone claiming that their way, their doctrine, ministry, or philosophies are right instead of just proclaiming the cross and Jesus. Nothing else matters but the cross, and in my vain mind I could give up all things but if I don't have the true love of Jesus it's all vanities. Jesus is the only one who could give us that love, we must pray that he'll send the holy spirit to manifest a love in our hearts that is only to please him and not man. It is only set out to please him, instead of our own ideals, or our own way of pursuing him.The thing is we our wicked in ourselves, and pride is the most deceiving sin because we can't see it when it's there. See I could really fool myself and everyone around me, on the outside it could really look like I've given up everything as loss. But in my heart I might've given up everything but pride. I might've sold everything, and made it look like I am holy, but what if God who searches the heart shined some light on the fact that I have truly not come to the end of myself. See the minute we start to boast in our ways, and our walks, and our way of doing things. We have lost the visual of the cross, no matter what it looks like to man we cannot fool God." May I never boast except in the cross of lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world"-Galations 6:14. So thats it, we have to not boast in anything but the cross. No matter how much you think your way is the best, it's not. Because if I was to do everything outwardly that you do, but still not having the holy spirit then I have nothing at all. The holy spirit is the only one that works within us to make everything we say,do, or obtain obedient to the cross. The holy spirit makes everything genuine, everyhting real, and authentic. The holy spirit wipes us with the blood of Jesus, so God sees no fault in us. But how can we recieve that blood, and that atonement. When we go around boasting , and taking pride in the outward things that do not line up with our hearts. I can go through the right motions, because every human person has realised one truth about God. That his word is right, the act of not lying, stealing, or committing adultery makes you a good person. Even athiests agree with that statement, even if you don't believe in God. You still have a sense and moral truth of right and wrong. Sin causes Pain, and no one can deny its affects. So I can go on being a good person just with the basic truth that I'll live a good life. But if I don't have the love of Jesus in my heart, and everything I do is just because I know it works, not because I have a broken heart for doing the will of my father. Then it means nothing at all. Our righteous works mean nothing, unless we have the holy spirit giving witness to the father that it is him and him alone thats working within us. Our righteous works are nothing but filthy rags. " All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away-Isaiah 64:6. Everything I do that isn't a denial of self, and in the name of Jesus means nothing . I think this is what Jesus was talking about when he addressed the church in Laodicea. "You say I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.'But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich;and white clothes to wear, so you can cover up your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent."Rev.3:17-19.
See every time we are confident in our flesh, our good works, our ministry, and our flesh, we put less confidence in the cross. Grace loses it's affect and we become self righteous. We must come to the end of ourselves daily. We must realise that nothing we can do, say, obtain, or be is good at all in the eyes of our father, unless we deny ourselves and give all credit to Jesus the one who paid our debt on the cross. Counting all things as loss, isn't so much an outward thing we can take credit for. It's simply a heart issue. My pastor Cleetus once that Jesus wants to change our desires more than he wants to change our behaviors. He wants our desires to be captivated by him, and then he knows our behavior will naturally follow. We will naturally demand our flesh to be obedient to the desires, and heart cry of our souls. This starts when we take every thought captive and make it obedient to Jesus Christ. When we say Lord not by my strenth, or might but by your power alone am I even thought of as righteous or blameless in your sight. We must realise that their is no good in us, apart from Jesus Christ. Even if man looks at us and says we are good, in the eyes of God who pierces and tests the heart will reveal the true motives of why we lived good lifes. So be earnest beloved, Repent, and draw nearer to the father let his word which is like a double edged sword deviding marrow and bone. Cut your heart deeply and move you to boast in nothing but the cross, and to truly count all things as loss.