We have to taste of the Lords sweetness..

Jesus has been moving my heart to discipline.. I've always been the crazy random type that just goes with the flo.. I'm spontaneous enough. But lately the Lord has really been quiting me down.. I'm reading Johnathan Edwards right now he was such a man of discipline. So lately I think I got the heart of being disciplined.. but it basically is being whole hearted. Putting your everything in investing, and planting what you know G-d will bring to harvest. I want to want the Lord, I want to have compassion, I want to bring about a prayer life, I want to crucify my flesh, I want to desire him completely. Now if we knock he doesn't just give but he gives a way.. Daniel was delivered IN the lions den not FROM the lions den. He doesn't promise he'll deal with it, he promises he'll live in us through it. WE NEED THE HOLY SPIRIT TO BE DISCIPLINED. Living a life of discipline means I don't want to be righteous holy spirit let me strive to be righteous.. I can't do it in vain but rather I'm wounded in the fact of realising that I can't, don't desire, and will not be able to be righteous. That I don't want to, can't find a way, or don't want to strive for energy to excersize after 7 hours of work.. I am faced with the revelation of my weakness. I NEED HIM. I don't want to pray, Oprah looks really interesting today..(I'M WEAK) he says if we call on him with a humble heart he'll answer.. no even in the smallest of things minute by minute I have to deny my flesh. My flesh always justifies the smallest of things because there not outward things, but the LORD judges the heart and what a terrible thing to fall in the hands of an angry G-d. I want my heart to be pure, I want my thoughts to be pure, I want my intentions and even the smallest of my steps that go unnoticed to be pure. And this means denial of flesh minute by minute.. but won't we become self righteous? No if the HOLY SPIRIT does it through us we will be conformed into the image of Christ, the fact is .. we can't do the smallest of things without him. We can't keep the smallest of disciplines in our life out of straight will power, at least I can't. But I strive and labour to lay hold of him, I am wrestling with my flesh, I am beating my body into submission, I am counting all other things as loss compared to the surpassing knowledge of knowing him and obtaining him, I'm part of the saints who are forcefully taking hold of the kingdom. And you know what those saints look like? Their the people behind the stage whole heartedly serving the pastor water, looking with kindness in the eyes of every human being, they're the ones who humble themselves in humility and fear knowing that they are the worst of the worst. You know why I do the things I do? You know why I desire to be uncompromising? It's not because I'm righteous it's because I'm weak, it's not because smart it's because i'm foolish, it's not because I'm full it's because I'm empty, it's not because I have the answers and I'm living a admirable life, but it's because I choose to know nothing but Jesus Christ and choose to give Glory to his name. I am sooo weak and so I like how Paul says he's the worst of the worst, he needed G-d more than anyone. I've been praying that I would need more of G-d than anyone that I would be soo weak in spirit, that I would lack so much of him, that he would hear my cry like the good Judge and be quick to answer. Release the boldness of the righteous we like to say.. you know what that means? It means that those inner fights that the saints go through to stop their speech from boasting, to stop their hearts from wondering, all the little things they fight so hard for to not cut corners at work, whatever it is... Releasing the boldness of the righteous means that out of our small efforts and weak glances the Lord will march out like a mighty man of war and have victory because of the humility that we have yoked ourselves to the most humblest of them all Jesus Christ. Yes raise up children! But raise up in the zeal and humility the Lord had, anytime he was harsh it was out of defense for his father! And it was uncomfortable for him to stick up for the righteousness of his father when all his friends wanted to compromise it and water it down. Anytime he was meek, humble, and forgiving it was because of man he knew that his father desired, longed for, and deserved the souls of man and he wanted to bring his father children that were spotless so he kept covering the undeserving souls with his blood. Don't you see? That Jesus never did anything for himself, it was all denial of himself it was for his father always to bring Glory to his father! Jesus I want to be a pure and spotless saint. I don't want to raise up to give a defense in evangelism because i'm so righteous, good, and amazing but I want humility and fear knowing that I know nothing that I'm the poor sinner in need of a savior right with the soul that needs conversion. I just now caught how 1 Peter 3:15 talks about this ...
1 Peter 3:15 (New King James Version)
15 But sanctify the Lord God[a] in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear;

with meekness and fear not because we think less of ourselves but because we think of ourselves less. Not because poor pity me, but it's humility that gives no attention to self, but is self sacrificial and reflects Jesus Christs nature. We just do what we do for the father..I need discipline in my life not to be the best me that I can be, not to be a better Christian.. but to be like him. He was so discipline in his pursuit of the father, he HAD to lay hold of the fathers heart. He WAS the beatitudes he was poor in spirit and the father was Glorified in that, therefore he was pleased to have all of himself dwell in him. My heart is quick so quick to wonder... These are a few declarations that I need in my life..
- I need to pray unceasingly I constantly need to be confessing my thoughts and bringing them to the father, my affections and my attention
- I need to work out and beat my body in submision since i've been striving to do this more and more I realise that this physical discipline will flow into spiritual disciplines, and it's a good time to listen to podcasts.
- I need to have a time of prayer daily, and I need to pray for things that I'm willing to labour for, the father likes the process of interceding with me and he'll do this whole vicotry thing if I labour and strive for it with him.
- I need to read my whole bible all the way through, over and over again. I need a daily dose and I need to know that I'm reading the whole thing not just skipping around
- I need to learn from the wise man I need that sermon index
- I need to give G-d my thoughts I'm such a girl and my heart wonders, and i'm a visionary, and It's very easy to fantasize with my own short sighteness of things, and my own ideals but the truth is I don't know the day or the hour, and all I have is a moment, here and now to be whole hearted. Not that you cant think of the vision in your life but you can't be feeding the desires of your heart through day dreams. You must sumbitt that vision to the reality of here and now.
- I must must learn to listen, to be meek, and submissive to my parents restoration will come even Johnathan Edwards had a hard time moving back in with his family but it shows us the true nature of our rebellious hearts and the reality is that it helps us grow in love and shows us our need for love from the father.
- I can't have a facebook seriously, my heart is so quick to be taken by vanities and gossip I get the same feeling when I read gossip magazines I just feel yucky.
-I must preach the Gospel now I need to break out of the complacency of doing it every saturday and actually look to try to do it every day but all that is in me MUST be Jesus to people and I have to get over fear.. thats not the Lord. There is Godly fear that comes out of humility which I feel when I evangelise. But when I want to witness to old friends or family members I get this prideful fear which is I don't want to be looked at as weird, even though Christ himself calls us peculiar people in his word.And David when he was looked at by Bathseba? (I want to say) basically says " o0o you think this is bad? Well guess what? I'm going to continue to be even more undignified than this all the days of my life" Father well help me getr over myself already and undignify this body of flesh
- I must be whole hearted, I used to think being whole hearted in prays in worship but I'm getting the concept of being whole hearted in EVERYTHING we don't have time to waste, to pout, to be in carnality, to be in daydream land, the lord has a plan and he's always moving, and interceding on behalf of us well holy spirit quicken me to what the father is doing and give me eyes to see and ears to hear.
- I must fast, my heart can easily become into a desire driven vessel for food, for entertainment and comfort and satan loves to use the things we need to make us lethargic and complacent. I must crucify my flesh give up my desires and fast from the food I used to convince myself I not only needed, but deserved. But it says in Gods word "Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food but G-d will destroy them both" in the end let your stomach be satisfied but G-d will destroy them both might as well let your soul feast for that is eternal. Gods word says whatever you sow in the flesh you'll reap in the flesh, but whatever you sow in the spirit you'll reap in the spirit.
-The Lord gave me a revelation a while back about not denying him one thing..There are tons of one little things that get me all the time. But not One thing is too little to give to the Lord he doesn't just want the big showy things, he wants all the little things that fill the tiny gaps in our hearts, he wants it all, and he won't relent until he has it all.
So father make me poor in spirit I lack, and I'm in NEED, wound me with your love, and give me a revelation of the NEED for you!


Jesus YOUR GLORIOUS!