Today, there are so many conferences and such, especially
for our youth, which are designed to excite the believer’s passion
through fellowship, music, eloquent speakers, emotional stories,
and impassioned pleas. Yet, often whatever excitement they create
quickly vanishes. In the end, little fires have been built in little
hearts that burn out in a few days. We have forgotten that genuine,
enduring passion is born out of one’s knowledge of the truth, and
specifically the truth of the Gospel. The more one comprehends
its beauty, the more one will be apprehended by its power. One
glance of the Gospel will move the truly regenerate heart to follow.
Every greater glimpse will quicken its pace until it is running
recklessly toward the prize. Such beauty, the truly Christian heart
cannot resist. This is the great need of the day! It is what we have
lost—the preaching of the Gospel. - Paul Washer
Friday, March 27, 2009
THE GOSPEL.
Today, there are so many conferences and such, especially
for our youth, which are designed to excite the believer’s passion
through fellowship, music, eloquent speakers, emotional stories,
and impassioned pleas. Yet, often whatever excitement they create
quickly vanishes. In the end, little fires have been built in little
hearts that burn out in a few days. We have forgotten that genuine,
enduring passion is born out of one’s knowledge of the truth, and
specifically the truth of the Gospel. The more one comprehends
its beauty, the more one will be apprehended by its power. One
glance of the Gospel will move the truly regenerate heart to follow.
Every greater glimpse will quicken its pace until it is running
recklessly toward the prize. Such beauty, the truly Christian heart
cannot resist. This is the great need of the day! It is what we have
lost—the preaching of the Gospel. - Paul Washer
for our youth, which are designed to excite the believer’s passion
through fellowship, music, eloquent speakers, emotional stories,
and impassioned pleas. Yet, often whatever excitement they create
quickly vanishes. In the end, little fires have been built in little
hearts that burn out in a few days. We have forgotten that genuine,
enduring passion is born out of one’s knowledge of the truth, and
specifically the truth of the Gospel. The more one comprehends
its beauty, the more one will be apprehended by its power. One
glance of the Gospel will move the truly regenerate heart to follow.
Every greater glimpse will quicken its pace until it is running
recklessly toward the prize. Such beauty, the truly Christian heart
cannot resist. This is the great need of the day! It is what we have
lost—the preaching of the Gospel. - Paul Washer
Freedom come quickly!
Move my heart...
It's stuck on too many things..
But I don't get that...... If I give them up the initial heartache isn't as bad as the surpassing freedom and Joy you feel when you have truly disconnected from those things that still your time, affections, cravings, and desires.
We are free from the world when we starve ourselves from it, we are more free from it when we give it up, the enemy wouldn't like us to believe that but it's true.
Whatever you sow you will reap.. you will reap a harvest if you do not give up. If you don't quit you win. Holy spirit do the work in me, and don't let me fall back into carnal thinking..
I LONNGGG to lay hold of the vision, to grasp it, to obtain it, to meditate upon it, that way when complacency comes around the corner, and sleep settles in my eyes, I can look to our Lord Jesus who was very familiar with suffering and I can be the sleeper that arises and has the Lord shine upon then. The hardest thing to do, is arise from that place of decision where it would be just as easy to fall back into sleep as it would be to make the choice to arise.
It's stuck on too many things..
But I don't get that...... If I give them up the initial heartache isn't as bad as the surpassing freedom and Joy you feel when you have truly disconnected from those things that still your time, affections, cravings, and desires.
We are free from the world when we starve ourselves from it, we are more free from it when we give it up, the enemy wouldn't like us to believe that but it's true.
Whatever you sow you will reap.. you will reap a harvest if you do not give up. If you don't quit you win. Holy spirit do the work in me, and don't let me fall back into carnal thinking..
I LONNGGG to lay hold of the vision, to grasp it, to obtain it, to meditate upon it, that way when complacency comes around the corner, and sleep settles in my eyes, I can look to our Lord Jesus who was very familiar with suffering and I can be the sleeper that arises and has the Lord shine upon then. The hardest thing to do, is arise from that place of decision where it would be just as easy to fall back into sleep as it would be to make the choice to arise.
Monday, March 23, 2009
mY dADDy!
My Dad watches over my heart...
My dad cultivated my heart he made fertile ground, and he planted some seeds of love. He pruned them, and sometimes my Garden suffered damage, the winds blew, the rain came, and foxes and snakes came in and tried to eat all the fruit in the Garden. But they did not succeed! Because my Dad is a great Gardener! And he worked hard sometimes in the blazing sun! He drove away all the snakes and foxes, he poured fresh soil into my Garden. He spent the time, money, and energy to plant, build up, and produce fruit in my Garden. He built a fence around where no one can come in, he alone gazes over the fruit of the Garden. He watches over the produce, he often calmly walks around touching the leaves, enjoying the Garden.The flowers bloom for HIM, all for his Glory, they appreciate the work he did in planting and harvesting them. He sings over them and they bloom, my Dad made a Garden for me, he takes delight in my Garden. We commune together in my Garden, and I'm glad he's kept it safe. Because even though I've let snakes, and foxes sneak in by being careless with the fence around me Garden. My Dad drove them out, My dad loves me and won't settle for an untamed, wreckless Garden. My dad is the keeper of my heart, the keeper of this Garden, he works deligently to form and cultivate my heart for him. He's long suffering, he's patient, he's kind. He will be spent over and over again to prune and plant in my Garden, My dad takes delight in this! Holy spirit floods my heart and brings tears down my face, he gives me kisses on my head when it's all scrunched up and worried, he kisses my forehead and speaks peace in my ear. He calls me beloved and assures me that he'll take care of all of this.. even when my Garden is a mess from those dang foxes I let sneak in! My Dad has built a fence around my heart! And only he can be there! I don't want anyone else in to my secret Garden, you know why? Becuase try as they might.. no other can take care of the Garden of my heart like he can! No one enjoys my Garden like he does! He knows the right shades of color that I like to see bloom and it's a perfect pattern, he knows me in my innermost man. He desires to not harm be but to bless me and give me a future, a future thats secure and safe no matter what rains, storms, or trespassers come my way. My dad is mighty to save! He is mighty to rise up and to defend for the sake of my heart, because that's his Garden! That's his territory, and no one else can share it with him not even if I want them to! Jesus I was just thinking sometimes I want my heart to be given away to even just experience the momentary pleasure of being in love and letting someone love me. But no one will do, you have the keys to my Garden, and I can't let anyone else in but you. I won't settle for less, because your abba Daddy, I trust you because over and over again when a storm has came and caused everything to be a mess and I thought it was hopeless and unrepairable. You breathed hope and you produced flowers that was sweet aroma of worship to your nostrils. Jesus you do the work in me, holy spirit you plant and prune, all I have to do is let you. Dad your so faithful! I am undone! All I can say is how faithful you are! Faithful and just to cleanse me from all unrighteousness! To reign showers of love in me, to fight and wrestle over the weeds and stubborns roots in my heart. I love you daddy, I love you dad, I love you abba, I love you sweet Jesus. I love you I love you I love you. You put a seal over my heart, the keys are yours. Jesus I'm asking you as a father to keep being like a warrior king and defending my heart, because on behalf of you I tell my heart to seek your face, and my heart seeks your face. To gaze on the beauty of the one I love, I will search night and day for the one I love, because you have awakened love inside of me! And I am undone! I will never be the same. So my heart is at a paradigm wanting to be given over to another lover, yet you say trust, wait, I'm your Dad I know whats best. And I sigh like a little girl, sometimes I pout with tears in my eyes.. and I say with all faith "Your my Dad, to you I trust".
Dad just wanted to say thanks for breathing on my Garden, thanks for making your home there. I don't want a romantic love story thats unreal and unpractical, I don't want anyone EVER coming into our Garden. No matter how close pple may get they WILL NEVER share our Garden with you, my garden.. my heart..the innermost part of me. The secret place, Holy spirit sweet sweet sweet Holy Spirit come and make this Garden pleasing to my Dad, invite him in to do the good work in me! Bless you Jesus, because you not only revealed this to the wise, strong, or righteous.. but you revealed this to children, to little babes like me.. your my daddy thats it.And though I'm dark you say I'm lovely...
My dad cultivated my heart he made fertile ground, and he planted some seeds of love. He pruned them, and sometimes my Garden suffered damage, the winds blew, the rain came, and foxes and snakes came in and tried to eat all the fruit in the Garden. But they did not succeed! Because my Dad is a great Gardener! And he worked hard sometimes in the blazing sun! He drove away all the snakes and foxes, he poured fresh soil into my Garden. He spent the time, money, and energy to plant, build up, and produce fruit in my Garden. He built a fence around where no one can come in, he alone gazes over the fruit of the Garden. He watches over the produce, he often calmly walks around touching the leaves, enjoying the Garden.The flowers bloom for HIM, all for his Glory, they appreciate the work he did in planting and harvesting them. He sings over them and they bloom, my Dad made a Garden for me, he takes delight in my Garden. We commune together in my Garden, and I'm glad he's kept it safe. Because even though I've let snakes, and foxes sneak in by being careless with the fence around me Garden. My Dad drove them out, My dad loves me and won't settle for an untamed, wreckless Garden. My dad is the keeper of my heart, the keeper of this Garden, he works deligently to form and cultivate my heart for him. He's long suffering, he's patient, he's kind. He will be spent over and over again to prune and plant in my Garden, My dad takes delight in this! Holy spirit floods my heart and brings tears down my face, he gives me kisses on my head when it's all scrunched up and worried, he kisses my forehead and speaks peace in my ear. He calls me beloved and assures me that he'll take care of all of this.. even when my Garden is a mess from those dang foxes I let sneak in! My Dad has built a fence around my heart! And only he can be there! I don't want anyone else in to my secret Garden, you know why? Becuase try as they might.. no other can take care of the Garden of my heart like he can! No one enjoys my Garden like he does! He knows the right shades of color that I like to see bloom and it's a perfect pattern, he knows me in my innermost man. He desires to not harm be but to bless me and give me a future, a future thats secure and safe no matter what rains, storms, or trespassers come my way. My dad is mighty to save! He is mighty to rise up and to defend for the sake of my heart, because that's his Garden! That's his territory, and no one else can share it with him not even if I want them to! Jesus I was just thinking sometimes I want my heart to be given away to even just experience the momentary pleasure of being in love and letting someone love me. But no one will do, you have the keys to my Garden, and I can't let anyone else in but you. I won't settle for less, because your abba Daddy, I trust you because over and over again when a storm has came and caused everything to be a mess and I thought it was hopeless and unrepairable. You breathed hope and you produced flowers that was sweet aroma of worship to your nostrils. Jesus you do the work in me, holy spirit you plant and prune, all I have to do is let you. Dad your so faithful! I am undone! All I can say is how faithful you are! Faithful and just to cleanse me from all unrighteousness! To reign showers of love in me, to fight and wrestle over the weeds and stubborns roots in my heart. I love you daddy, I love you dad, I love you abba, I love you sweet Jesus. I love you I love you I love you. You put a seal over my heart, the keys are yours. Jesus I'm asking you as a father to keep being like a warrior king and defending my heart, because on behalf of you I tell my heart to seek your face, and my heart seeks your face. To gaze on the beauty of the one I love, I will search night and day for the one I love, because you have awakened love inside of me! And I am undone! I will never be the same. So my heart is at a paradigm wanting to be given over to another lover, yet you say trust, wait, I'm your Dad I know whats best. And I sigh like a little girl, sometimes I pout with tears in my eyes.. and I say with all faith "Your my Dad, to you I trust".
Dad just wanted to say thanks for breathing on my Garden, thanks for making your home there. I don't want a romantic love story thats unreal and unpractical, I don't want anyone EVER coming into our Garden. No matter how close pple may get they WILL NEVER share our Garden with you, my garden.. my heart..the innermost part of me. The secret place, Holy spirit sweet sweet sweet Holy Spirit come and make this Garden pleasing to my Dad, invite him in to do the good work in me! Bless you Jesus, because you not only revealed this to the wise, strong, or righteous.. but you revealed this to children, to little babes like me.. your my daddy thats it.And though I'm dark you say I'm lovely...
Friday, March 13, 2009
We have to taste of the Lords sweetness..
Jesus has been moving my heart to discipline.. I've always been the crazy random type that just goes with the flo.. I'm spontaneous enough. But lately the Lord has really been quiting me down.. I'm reading Johnathan Edwards right now he was such a man of discipline. So lately I think I got the heart of being disciplined.. but it basically is being whole hearted. Putting your everything in investing, and planting what you know G-d will bring to harvest. I want to want the Lord, I want to have compassion, I want to bring about a prayer life, I want to crucify my flesh, I want to desire him completely. Now if we knock he doesn't just give but he gives a way.. Daniel was delivered IN the lions den not FROM the lions den. He doesn't promise he'll deal with it, he promises he'll live in us through it. WE NEED THE HOLY SPIRIT TO BE DISCIPLINED. Living a life of discipline means I don't want to be righteous holy spirit let me strive to be righteous.. I can't do it in vain but rather I'm wounded in the fact of realising that I can't, don't desire, and will not be able to be righteous. That I don't want to, can't find a way, or don't want to strive for energy to excersize after 7 hours of work.. I am faced with the revelation of my weakness. I NEED HIM. I don't want to pray, Oprah looks really interesting today..(I'M WEAK) he says if we call on him with a humble heart he'll answer.. no even in the smallest of things minute by minute I have to deny my flesh. My flesh always justifies the smallest of things because there not outward things, but the LORD judges the heart and what a terrible thing to fall in the hands of an angry G-d. I want my heart to be pure, I want my thoughts to be pure, I want my intentions and even the smallest of my steps that go unnoticed to be pure. And this means denial of flesh minute by minute.. but won't we become self righteous? No if the HOLY SPIRIT does it through us we will be conformed into the image of Christ, the fact is .. we can't do the smallest of things without him. We can't keep the smallest of disciplines in our life out of straight will power, at least I can't. But I strive and labour to lay hold of him, I am wrestling with my flesh, I am beating my body into submission, I am counting all other things as loss compared to the surpassing knowledge of knowing him and obtaining him, I'm part of the saints who are forcefully taking hold of the kingdom. And you know what those saints look like? Their the people behind the stage whole heartedly serving the pastor water, looking with kindness in the eyes of every human being, they're the ones who humble themselves in humility and fear knowing that they are the worst of the worst. You know why I do the things I do? You know why I desire to be uncompromising? It's not because I'm righteous it's because I'm weak, it's not because smart it's because i'm foolish, it's not because I'm full it's because I'm empty, it's not because I have the answers and I'm living a admirable life, but it's because I choose to know nothing but Jesus Christ and choose to give Glory to his name. I am sooo weak and so I like how Paul says he's the worst of the worst, he needed G-d more than anyone. I've been praying that I would need more of G-d than anyone that I would be soo weak in spirit, that I would lack so much of him, that he would hear my cry like the good Judge and be quick to answer. Release the boldness of the righteous we like to say.. you know what that means? It means that those inner fights that the saints go through to stop their speech from boasting, to stop their hearts from wondering, all the little things they fight so hard for to not cut corners at work, whatever it is... Releasing the boldness of the righteous means that out of our small efforts and weak glances the Lord will march out like a mighty man of war and have victory because of the humility that we have yoked ourselves to the most humblest of them all Jesus Christ. Yes raise up children! But raise up in the zeal and humility the Lord had, anytime he was harsh it was out of defense for his father! And it was uncomfortable for him to stick up for the righteousness of his father when all his friends wanted to compromise it and water it down. Anytime he was meek, humble, and forgiving it was because of man he knew that his father desired, longed for, and deserved the souls of man and he wanted to bring his father children that were spotless so he kept covering the undeserving souls with his blood. Don't you see? That Jesus never did anything for himself, it was all denial of himself it was for his father always to bring Glory to his father! Jesus I want to be a pure and spotless saint. I don't want to raise up to give a defense in evangelism because i'm so righteous, good, and amazing but I want humility and fear knowing that I know nothing that I'm the poor sinner in need of a savior right with the soul that needs conversion. I just now caught how 1 Peter 3:15 talks about this ...
1 Peter 3:15 (New King James Version)
15 But sanctify the Lord God[a] in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear;
with meekness and fear not because we think less of ourselves but because we think of ourselves less. Not because poor pity me, but it's humility that gives no attention to self, but is self sacrificial and reflects Jesus Christs nature. We just do what we do for the father..I need discipline in my life not to be the best me that I can be, not to be a better Christian.. but to be like him. He was so discipline in his pursuit of the father, he HAD to lay hold of the fathers heart. He WAS the beatitudes he was poor in spirit and the father was Glorified in that, therefore he was pleased to have all of himself dwell in him. My heart is quick so quick to wonder... These are a few declarations that I need in my life..
- I need to pray unceasingly I constantly need to be confessing my thoughts and bringing them to the father, my affections and my attention
- I need to work out and beat my body in submision since i've been striving to do this more and more I realise that this physical discipline will flow into spiritual disciplines, and it's a good time to listen to podcasts.
- I need to have a time of prayer daily, and I need to pray for things that I'm willing to labour for, the father likes the process of interceding with me and he'll do this whole vicotry thing if I labour and strive for it with him.
- I need to read my whole bible all the way through, over and over again. I need a daily dose and I need to know that I'm reading the whole thing not just skipping around
- I need to learn from the wise man I need that sermon index
- I need to give G-d my thoughts I'm such a girl and my heart wonders, and i'm a visionary, and It's very easy to fantasize with my own short sighteness of things, and my own ideals but the truth is I don't know the day or the hour, and all I have is a moment, here and now to be whole hearted. Not that you cant think of the vision in your life but you can't be feeding the desires of your heart through day dreams. You must sumbitt that vision to the reality of here and now.
- I must must learn to listen, to be meek, and submissive to my parents restoration will come even Johnathan Edwards had a hard time moving back in with his family but it shows us the true nature of our rebellious hearts and the reality is that it helps us grow in love and shows us our need for love from the father.
- I can't have a facebook seriously, my heart is so quick to be taken by vanities and gossip I get the same feeling when I read gossip magazines I just feel yucky.
-I must preach the Gospel now I need to break out of the complacency of doing it every saturday and actually look to try to do it every day but all that is in me MUST be Jesus to people and I have to get over fear.. thats not the Lord. There is Godly fear that comes out of humility which I feel when I evangelise. But when I want to witness to old friends or family members I get this prideful fear which is I don't want to be looked at as weird, even though Christ himself calls us peculiar people in his word.And David when he was looked at by Bathseba? (I want to say) basically says " o0o you think this is bad? Well guess what? I'm going to continue to be even more undignified than this all the days of my life" Father well help me getr over myself already and undignify this body of flesh
- I must be whole hearted, I used to think being whole hearted in prays in worship but I'm getting the concept of being whole hearted in EVERYTHING we don't have time to waste, to pout, to be in carnality, to be in daydream land, the lord has a plan and he's always moving, and interceding on behalf of us well holy spirit quicken me to what the father is doing and give me eyes to see and ears to hear.
- I must fast, my heart can easily become into a desire driven vessel for food, for entertainment and comfort and satan loves to use the things we need to make us lethargic and complacent. I must crucify my flesh give up my desires and fast from the food I used to convince myself I not only needed, but deserved. But it says in Gods word "Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food but G-d will destroy them both" in the end let your stomach be satisfied but G-d will destroy them both might as well let your soul feast for that is eternal. Gods word says whatever you sow in the flesh you'll reap in the flesh, but whatever you sow in the spirit you'll reap in the spirit.
-The Lord gave me a revelation a while back about not denying him one thing..There are tons of one little things that get me all the time. But not One thing is too little to give to the Lord he doesn't just want the big showy things, he wants all the little things that fill the tiny gaps in our hearts, he wants it all, and he won't relent until he has it all.
So father make me poor in spirit I lack, and I'm in NEED, wound me with your love, and give me a revelation of the NEED for you!
Jesus YOUR GLORIOUS!
1 Peter 3:15 (New King James Version)
15 But sanctify the Lord God[a] in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear;
with meekness and fear not because we think less of ourselves but because we think of ourselves less. Not because poor pity me, but it's humility that gives no attention to self, but is self sacrificial and reflects Jesus Christs nature. We just do what we do for the father..I need discipline in my life not to be the best me that I can be, not to be a better Christian.. but to be like him. He was so discipline in his pursuit of the father, he HAD to lay hold of the fathers heart. He WAS the beatitudes he was poor in spirit and the father was Glorified in that, therefore he was pleased to have all of himself dwell in him. My heart is quick so quick to wonder... These are a few declarations that I need in my life..
- I need to pray unceasingly I constantly need to be confessing my thoughts and bringing them to the father, my affections and my attention
- I need to work out and beat my body in submision since i've been striving to do this more and more I realise that this physical discipline will flow into spiritual disciplines, and it's a good time to listen to podcasts.
- I need to have a time of prayer daily, and I need to pray for things that I'm willing to labour for, the father likes the process of interceding with me and he'll do this whole vicotry thing if I labour and strive for it with him.
- I need to read my whole bible all the way through, over and over again. I need a daily dose and I need to know that I'm reading the whole thing not just skipping around
- I need to learn from the wise man I need that sermon index
- I need to give G-d my thoughts I'm such a girl and my heart wonders, and i'm a visionary, and It's very easy to fantasize with my own short sighteness of things, and my own ideals but the truth is I don't know the day or the hour, and all I have is a moment, here and now to be whole hearted. Not that you cant think of the vision in your life but you can't be feeding the desires of your heart through day dreams. You must sumbitt that vision to the reality of here and now.
- I must must learn to listen, to be meek, and submissive to my parents restoration will come even Johnathan Edwards had a hard time moving back in with his family but it shows us the true nature of our rebellious hearts and the reality is that it helps us grow in love and shows us our need for love from the father.
- I can't have a facebook seriously, my heart is so quick to be taken by vanities and gossip I get the same feeling when I read gossip magazines I just feel yucky.
-I must preach the Gospel now I need to break out of the complacency of doing it every saturday and actually look to try to do it every day but all that is in me MUST be Jesus to people and I have to get over fear.. thats not the Lord. There is Godly fear that comes out of humility which I feel when I evangelise. But when I want to witness to old friends or family members I get this prideful fear which is I don't want to be looked at as weird, even though Christ himself calls us peculiar people in his word.And David when he was looked at by Bathseba? (I want to say) basically says " o0o you think this is bad? Well guess what? I'm going to continue to be even more undignified than this all the days of my life" Father well help me getr over myself already and undignify this body of flesh
- I must be whole hearted, I used to think being whole hearted in prays in worship but I'm getting the concept of being whole hearted in EVERYTHING we don't have time to waste, to pout, to be in carnality, to be in daydream land, the lord has a plan and he's always moving, and interceding on behalf of us well holy spirit quicken me to what the father is doing and give me eyes to see and ears to hear.
- I must fast, my heart can easily become into a desire driven vessel for food, for entertainment and comfort and satan loves to use the things we need to make us lethargic and complacent. I must crucify my flesh give up my desires and fast from the food I used to convince myself I not only needed, but deserved. But it says in Gods word "Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food but G-d will destroy them both" in the end let your stomach be satisfied but G-d will destroy them both might as well let your soul feast for that is eternal. Gods word says whatever you sow in the flesh you'll reap in the flesh, but whatever you sow in the spirit you'll reap in the spirit.
-The Lord gave me a revelation a while back about not denying him one thing..There are tons of one little things that get me all the time. But not One thing is too little to give to the Lord he doesn't just want the big showy things, he wants all the little things that fill the tiny gaps in our hearts, he wants it all, and he won't relent until he has it all.
So father make me poor in spirit I lack, and I'm in NEED, wound me with your love, and give me a revelation of the NEED for you!
Jesus YOUR GLORIOUS!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
This speaks to me about, election, adoption and salvation.
"The Father elects them, the son gets bruised for them, and the spirit renews them and produces fruit in them"- the infamous christian rapper.
Robert Murray MCheyne :
THIS IS A VERY HUMBLING, and at the same time, a very blessed word to the true disciple. It was very humbling to the disciples to be told that they had not chosen Christ. Your wants were so many, your hearts were so hard, that ye have not chosen me. And yet it was exceedingly comforting to the disciples to be told that he had chosen them: 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you'. This showed them that his love was first with them — that he had a love for them when they were dead. And then he showed them that it was love that would make them holy: 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain.'
Men naturally do not choose Christ, "Ye have not chosen me." This was true of the apostles; this is true of all that will ever believe to the end of the world. 'Ye have not chosen me.'The natural ear is so deaf that it cannot hear; the natural eye is so blind that it cannot see Christ. It is true in one sense that every disciple chooses Christ; but it is when God opens the eye to see him — it is when God gives strength to the withered arm to embrace him. But Christ's meaning is, You would never have chosen me, if I had not chosen you. It is quite true that when God opens a sinner's heart, he chooses Christ and none but Christ. It is quite true that a heart that is quickened by the Spirit, ever chooses Christ and none but Christ, and will forego all the world for Christ. But, brethren, the truth here taught us is this that every awakened sinner is willing to embrace Christ, but not till made willing. Those of you who have been awakened, you did not choose Christ. If a physician were to come into your house, and say he had come to cure you of your disease, if you felt that you were not diseased, you would say, I have no need of you, go to my neighbour. This is the way you do with Christ; he offers to cure you, but you say you are not diseased; he offers to cover your naked soul with his obedience, you say I have no need of that covering.
Another reason why you do not choose Christ is, you see no beauty in him. He is a root out of a dry ground, in which there is no beauty nor comeliness. You see no beauty in his person, no beauty in his obedience, no glory in his cross. You see him not, and, therefore, you do not choose him.
Another reason why you do not choose Christ is, you do not want to be made holy by him: He shall be called Jesus, for he shall save his people from their sins (Matthew 1: 2 1). But you love your sin, you love your pleasure, therefore when the Son of God comes and says, he will save you from your sin, you say, I love my sin, I love my pleasure. So you can never come to terms with Christ: 'ye have not chosen me'; although I died, yet you have not chosen me. I have spoken to you many years, and yet you have not chosen me. I have sent you my Bible to instruct you, and yet you have not chosen me. Brethren, this accusation will meet you in the judgment — I would have covered you with my obedience, but ye would not have me.
Christ chooses his own disciples: 'I have chosen you'. Christ looked upon them with a look of divine benignity, and said, 'I have chosen you.' Every one whom he brings to glory, he chooses.
The time when he chooses them. I observe that it was before they believed—'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you', as much as to say, I began with you, you did not begin with me. You will notice this in Acts 18:9, 10, 'Then spake the Lord to Paul in the night by a vision, Be not afraid, but speak, and hold not thy peace: for I am with thee, and no man shall set on thee to hurt thee; for I have much people in this city.' Paul was at this time in Corinth, the most lascivious and wicked city in the ancient world; they were given over to banqueting and grievous idolatry, and yet Christ said to Paul, 'I have much people in this city'. They had not chosen Christ, but he had chosen them; they had not repented, yet Christ fixed his eye on them. This plainly shows you that Christ chooses his own before they seek him.
But further, Christ chooses his own from the beginning: 'But we are bound to give thanks alway to God for you, brethren, beloved of the Lord, because God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation through sanctification of the Spirit, and belief of the truth' (2 Thessalonians 2:13); 'According as he had chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love' (Ephesians 1:4). So, brethren, it was before the foundation of the world that Christ chose his own; when there was neither sun nor moon, when there was neither sea nor land — it was from the beginning. Ah, he might well say, you have not chosen me. It was before man loved man, or angel loved angel, that Christ chose his own. Now, I know the meaning of Paul when he says, That you may be able to know the length and the breadth, the height and the depth of the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge (Ephesians 3:18-19). Now, I am not surprised at the death of Christ! It was a love so great that it broke over the banks that held it in; a love that broke over a Calvary and a Gethsemane. O brethren! do you know this love?
But I come now to the reason of his love: 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you.' Now, it is a very natural question, Why did he choose me? I answer, that the reason why he chose you was the good pleasure of his will. You will see this illustrated in Mark 3:13: 'And he goeth up into a mountain, and calleth unto him whom he would: and they came unto him.' There was a great crowd round about him; he called some, he did not call all. The reason here given why he did it is, 'He called whom he would.' There is no reason in the creature; the reason is in him who chooses. You will see this in Malachi 1:2, 3: '1 have loved you, saith the LORD; yet ye say, Wherein hast thou loved us? Was not Esau Jacob's brother? saith the LORD: yet I loved Jacob, and I hated Esau'. Were they not of the same mother? Yet I loved Jacob and I hated Esau. The only reason given, you see, is, 'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy'. You will see this also in Romans 9:15, 16.
The only reason given in the Bible why Christ loved us — and if you study till you die you will not find another — is, 'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy.' This is evident from all those that Christ chooses. We read of two great apostasies: one on earth, the other in heaven. First of all, one in heaven: Lucifer, the son of the morning, through pride, sinned, and God cast him, and those that sinned with him, into hell. The second was on earth: Adam sinned, and was driven out of paradise. They were both deserving of punishment. God had a purpose of love; which is it for? Perhaps angels pleaded for their fellow-angels; yet Christ passed them by, and died for man. Why did he die for man? The answer is, 'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy.'
The same thing is evident in the individuals Christ chooses. You would think Christ would choose the rich, and yet what says James? 'Hath not God chosen the poor of this world, rich in faith, and heirs of the kingdom, which he hath promised to them that love him?' (James 2:5).
Again, you would think Christ would choose the noble; they have not the prejudices that the poor have; but what says the Scripture, 'Not many mighty, not many noble are called' (I Corinthians 1:26).
Again, you would think he would choose those that are learned. The Bible is written in difficult language; its doctrines are hard to be understood; yet what says Christ? 'I thank thee, O Father, because thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes' (Matthew 11:25).
Again, you would think he would have chosen the virtuous. Though there are none righteous, yet there are some more virtuous than others; yet what says Christ? The publicans and harlots enter the kingdom of heaven while the Pharisee is shut out. 'O the depth both of the riches and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!' (Romans 11:33). Why did he take the most vile? Here is the only reason I have been able to find ever since I read my Bible -'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.'
Christ chooses some that seek him, and not others. There was a young ruler came to Christ, and said, 'Good Master, what good thing shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?" (Matthew 19:16). He was in earnest, yet something came in the way, and he went back. A woman that was a sinner came behind Christ weeping, she also was in earnest. Christ said regarding her, 'Her sins which are many are forgiven her' (Luke 7:47, 48). What made the difference? — 'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy." He called unto him whom he would.' O my brethren, be humbled under the sovereignty of God! If he will have compassion, then he will have compassion.
But I hasten to the third and last point: I have ordained you that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain. Christ not only chooses who are to be saved, but he chooses the way; and he not only chooses the beginning and the end, he chooses the middle also. 'God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation, through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth' (2 Thessalonians 2:13). 'According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love' (Ephesians 1:4). And in Romans 8:30 it is said, 'Whom he did predestinate, them he also called; and whom he called them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he glorified.' Salvation is like a golden chain let down from heaven to earth; two links are the hands of God — election and final salvation; but some of the links are on earth — conversion, adoption, etc. Brethren, Christ never chooses a man to believe, and then leap into glory. Ah, my brethren, how this takes away the feet from all objections raised against this holy doctrine of election. Some here perhaps say, If I am elected, I will be saved, live as I like. No; if you live an unholy life, you will not be saved. Some may say, If I am not elected, I will not be saved, do as I like. Whether you are elected or not, I know not, but this I know - if you believe on Christ you will be saved.
Let me ask you, have you believed on Christ? Let me ask you another question, do you bear his whole image? Then you are elected, and will be saved. But if there are any here who have not believed on Christ, and who do not live a holy life, then, whatever you think now, you will find it true that you were among those who were passed by.
Ah! my brethren, those who deny election, deny that God can have mercy. O it is a sweet truth that God can have mercy! There is nothing in the hardness of your hearts that will keep God from having mercy on you. Go away home with this truth, that God can have mercy. 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you ...'Amen.
Robert Murray MCheyne :
THIS IS A VERY HUMBLING, and at the same time, a very blessed word to the true disciple. It was very humbling to the disciples to be told that they had not chosen Christ. Your wants were so many, your hearts were so hard, that ye have not chosen me. And yet it was exceedingly comforting to the disciples to be told that he had chosen them: 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you'. This showed them that his love was first with them — that he had a love for them when they were dead. And then he showed them that it was love that would make them holy: 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain.'
Men naturally do not choose Christ, "Ye have not chosen me." This was true of the apostles; this is true of all that will ever believe to the end of the world. 'Ye have not chosen me.'The natural ear is so deaf that it cannot hear; the natural eye is so blind that it cannot see Christ. It is true in one sense that every disciple chooses Christ; but it is when God opens the eye to see him — it is when God gives strength to the withered arm to embrace him. But Christ's meaning is, You would never have chosen me, if I had not chosen you. It is quite true that when God opens a sinner's heart, he chooses Christ and none but Christ. It is quite true that a heart that is quickened by the Spirit, ever chooses Christ and none but Christ, and will forego all the world for Christ. But, brethren, the truth here taught us is this that every awakened sinner is willing to embrace Christ, but not till made willing. Those of you who have been awakened, you did not choose Christ. If a physician were to come into your house, and say he had come to cure you of your disease, if you felt that you were not diseased, you would say, I have no need of you, go to my neighbour. This is the way you do with Christ; he offers to cure you, but you say you are not diseased; he offers to cover your naked soul with his obedience, you say I have no need of that covering.
Another reason why you do not choose Christ is, you see no beauty in him. He is a root out of a dry ground, in which there is no beauty nor comeliness. You see no beauty in his person, no beauty in his obedience, no glory in his cross. You see him not, and, therefore, you do not choose him.
Another reason why you do not choose Christ is, you do not want to be made holy by him: He shall be called Jesus, for he shall save his people from their sins (Matthew 1: 2 1). But you love your sin, you love your pleasure, therefore when the Son of God comes and says, he will save you from your sin, you say, I love my sin, I love my pleasure. So you can never come to terms with Christ: 'ye have not chosen me'; although I died, yet you have not chosen me. I have spoken to you many years, and yet you have not chosen me. I have sent you my Bible to instruct you, and yet you have not chosen me. Brethren, this accusation will meet you in the judgment — I would have covered you with my obedience, but ye would not have me.
Christ chooses his own disciples: 'I have chosen you'. Christ looked upon them with a look of divine benignity, and said, 'I have chosen you.' Every one whom he brings to glory, he chooses.
The time when he chooses them. I observe that it was before they believed—'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you', as much as to say, I began with you, you did not begin with me. You will notice this in Acts 18:9, 10, 'Then spake the Lord to Paul in the night by a vision, Be not afraid, but speak, and hold not thy peace: for I am with thee, and no man shall set on thee to hurt thee; for I have much people in this city.' Paul was at this time in Corinth, the most lascivious and wicked city in the ancient world; they were given over to banqueting and grievous idolatry, and yet Christ said to Paul, 'I have much people in this city'. They had not chosen Christ, but he had chosen them; they had not repented, yet Christ fixed his eye on them. This plainly shows you that Christ chooses his own before they seek him.
But further, Christ chooses his own from the beginning: 'But we are bound to give thanks alway to God for you, brethren, beloved of the Lord, because God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation through sanctification of the Spirit, and belief of the truth' (2 Thessalonians 2:13); 'According as he had chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love' (Ephesians 1:4). So, brethren, it was before the foundation of the world that Christ chose his own; when there was neither sun nor moon, when there was neither sea nor land — it was from the beginning. Ah, he might well say, you have not chosen me. It was before man loved man, or angel loved angel, that Christ chose his own. Now, I know the meaning of Paul when he says, That you may be able to know the length and the breadth, the height and the depth of the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge (Ephesians 3:18-19). Now, I am not surprised at the death of Christ! It was a love so great that it broke over the banks that held it in; a love that broke over a Calvary and a Gethsemane. O brethren! do you know this love?
But I come now to the reason of his love: 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you.' Now, it is a very natural question, Why did he choose me? I answer, that the reason why he chose you was the good pleasure of his will. You will see this illustrated in Mark 3:13: 'And he goeth up into a mountain, and calleth unto him whom he would: and they came unto him.' There was a great crowd round about him; he called some, he did not call all. The reason here given why he did it is, 'He called whom he would.' There is no reason in the creature; the reason is in him who chooses. You will see this in Malachi 1:2, 3: '1 have loved you, saith the LORD; yet ye say, Wherein hast thou loved us? Was not Esau Jacob's brother? saith the LORD: yet I loved Jacob, and I hated Esau'. Were they not of the same mother? Yet I loved Jacob and I hated Esau. The only reason given, you see, is, 'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy'. You will see this also in Romans 9:15, 16.
The only reason given in the Bible why Christ loved us — and if you study till you die you will not find another — is, 'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy.' This is evident from all those that Christ chooses. We read of two great apostasies: one on earth, the other in heaven. First of all, one in heaven: Lucifer, the son of the morning, through pride, sinned, and God cast him, and those that sinned with him, into hell. The second was on earth: Adam sinned, and was driven out of paradise. They were both deserving of punishment. God had a purpose of love; which is it for? Perhaps angels pleaded for their fellow-angels; yet Christ passed them by, and died for man. Why did he die for man? The answer is, 'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy.'
The same thing is evident in the individuals Christ chooses. You would think Christ would choose the rich, and yet what says James? 'Hath not God chosen the poor of this world, rich in faith, and heirs of the kingdom, which he hath promised to them that love him?' (James 2:5).
Again, you would think Christ would choose the noble; they have not the prejudices that the poor have; but what says the Scripture, 'Not many mighty, not many noble are called' (I Corinthians 1:26).
Again, you would think he would choose those that are learned. The Bible is written in difficult language; its doctrines are hard to be understood; yet what says Christ? 'I thank thee, O Father, because thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes' (Matthew 11:25).
Again, you would think he would have chosen the virtuous. Though there are none righteous, yet there are some more virtuous than others; yet what says Christ? The publicans and harlots enter the kingdom of heaven while the Pharisee is shut out. 'O the depth both of the riches and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!' (Romans 11:33). Why did he take the most vile? Here is the only reason I have been able to find ever since I read my Bible -'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.'
Christ chooses some that seek him, and not others. There was a young ruler came to Christ, and said, 'Good Master, what good thing shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?" (Matthew 19:16). He was in earnest, yet something came in the way, and he went back. A woman that was a sinner came behind Christ weeping, she also was in earnest. Christ said regarding her, 'Her sins which are many are forgiven her' (Luke 7:47, 48). What made the difference? — 'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy." He called unto him whom he would.' O my brethren, be humbled under the sovereignty of God! If he will have compassion, then he will have compassion.
But I hasten to the third and last point: I have ordained you that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain. Christ not only chooses who are to be saved, but he chooses the way; and he not only chooses the beginning and the end, he chooses the middle also. 'God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation, through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth' (2 Thessalonians 2:13). 'According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love' (Ephesians 1:4). And in Romans 8:30 it is said, 'Whom he did predestinate, them he also called; and whom he called them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he glorified.' Salvation is like a golden chain let down from heaven to earth; two links are the hands of God — election and final salvation; but some of the links are on earth — conversion, adoption, etc. Brethren, Christ never chooses a man to believe, and then leap into glory. Ah, my brethren, how this takes away the feet from all objections raised against this holy doctrine of election. Some here perhaps say, If I am elected, I will be saved, live as I like. No; if you live an unholy life, you will not be saved. Some may say, If I am not elected, I will not be saved, do as I like. Whether you are elected or not, I know not, but this I know - if you believe on Christ you will be saved.
Let me ask you, have you believed on Christ? Let me ask you another question, do you bear his whole image? Then you are elected, and will be saved. But if there are any here who have not believed on Christ, and who do not live a holy life, then, whatever you think now, you will find it true that you were among those who were passed by.
Ah! my brethren, those who deny election, deny that God can have mercy. O it is a sweet truth that God can have mercy! There is nothing in the hardness of your hearts that will keep God from having mercy on you. Go away home with this truth, that God can have mercy. 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you ...'Amen.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
(Whole) (Hearted)
Jesus today my mind was elsewhere I'm starting to really think about that verse keep every thought captive, I'm pretty sure that there were lies of the enemy I was meditating on, and I'm sure the only reason I meditated on them is because I didn't slay them with the word of G-d and in my wicked heart I believed there to be truth in the lie.. in which there is. But just like a little poop in the brownie can make the whole brownie disgusting.. so there may be some truth in the lie it is still a lie. And what does Godliness have to do with worldliness? or light with darkness? or idols with God's temple? 2 Corinth 6:14-16 IN THE NAME OF JESUS CAST DOWN THE IDOLATRIES IN MY HEART. The wrong mindsets, the wrong attitude, my independentness my trust in this dumb worldly gain. How I long to be whole heartedly yours, fully and completely. I want to go through an act of consecration, I MUST go through some consecration.Today I saw some lesbians outside of Starbucks I thought to myself I should talk to them, I love them and want to get to know them, I want to talk to them about Jesus, I want us to be friends. However I didn't say a word.. that's not whole heartedness right there, earlier today I went to work out but I didn't get to do the running part of my work out and however I convinced myself that I would do it later but I didn't, again.. not fully being whole hearted in that. Today I longed to pray when I got home and just mourn and become one with your holy spirit yet I said a prayer and then watched Dr.Phil and Oprah.. seriously? What was that? I don't think I've watched t.v in ages but somehow those shows get to me. I took a long nap and probably took forever to get ready to go to starbucks and even then getting into your word was hard to do. Father I can't have compromise, I just can't have it. I think a lot about my facebook and how it feels like I just go on to check it and yet spend an hour on it, which in itself is not bad. But I think that I long for some sort of human connection, affirmation, and approval. I think I see the careless ways of my highschool friends and a part of my heart still wishes and maybe longs to be there. Even though your word says not to envy the wicked for they will have there day of judgement and justice will be established upon the earth. Father I was listening to a sermon that your daughter preached about being whole hearted, it was pretty legit.. I think that in my mind I romatisize the past and maybe wait for the future.. but what if the future doesn't come? Our life is like grass here today gone tomorrow, all is fading. And I can't just keep riding on the encounter that I had days ago I have to have one TODAY especially alone in the secret place. She also talked about how we sometimes say "well if only I get married, or if I only make this change or that change, or become this way or that way, or fast or give up things.. or whatever then maybe I'll be the type of christian I want to be". But that's not what I want to live by anymore, I can't wait for saturday nights to evangelize, I can't wait for the prayer meeting to pray, I can't wait for the prayer room, I can't wait till I feel comfortable, I can't wait till I feel compelled, the only thing I can do is pray NOW, and ask for your holy spirit NOW. In THIS VERY HOUR, release your SPIRIT! release the boldness of the righteous, release urgency, and steadfastness. Father in my mind and in my heart I make lots of lists.. o0o man I'm the queen of lists, and making plans I REALLY like to dream about the future and figure out ways to make things happen. I love to fantasize about things, I'm a visionary, it's the way you made me I wasn't always great at the whole "here and now thing". And it's hard to train myself to be different I long to walk with your spirit, like daily, min by min led by you. I dnt want to be carnal I want to be yours. But my thoughts take me to a place if only.. and what if.. and next week.. next month.. next year.. I'm 19.. how long must I have on this earth? I just want a few simple rules to live by..
One being I want to be whole hearted now and in Everything! I WANT to die daily when it doesn't seem like a big spiritual cross I WANT to die to the small things, I want to be relevant to you Jesus all the time. I don't really want to step outside of my spirit man anymore..
Second I want to pray unceasingly, I want urgency to consume me, I also long to communicate with you constantly, you must take over my heart. I want to want to die daily, for the joy set before me I want to be with you one day, and I want to do this whole earth thing WITH YOU! It's my season in this side of life and I don't get another chance at it. I don't want to get to eternity and regret not letting your name be Glorified.
Third I want to be a servant of all in the small things, I want you to be Glorified I don't want to seperate spiriutal things from mundane things, I want to bring you into everything. I don't want to be so consumed with spiritual things I forget the most important and that is to serve my brother and sister and to love you whole heartedly in everything. I want to be whole hearted in my thoughts, relationships, and in everything. Can you come tonight and seal these things in my heart??
Dad I don't want to waste the time you've given me, I don't want to waste my thoughts, the money you've given me, this life you so abundantly bless me with, the people in my life, I'm sincerely lost without the holy spirit so send your comforter so that I may walk with the holy spirit and have eyes to see and ears to hear what he's saying. Fulfill the promises you've placed in my heart, I want to love and live like the man that I HAVE a HUGE crush on , the one that I'm longing for attention, affection, and approval from is watching all the time. And that's you Jesus I want to impress you, make you blush, and suprise you with my obedience. Father your son Keith says "obedience is better than sacrifice" kinda of reminds me of
1 Corinth 13
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing".
Lord if I fast yet don't die to my flesh daily and love whole heartedly then what good is the fast? It kind of reminds me of Isaiah 58
3 'Why have we fasted,' they say,
'and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
and you have not noticed?'
'Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
and exploit all your workers.
4 Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,
and in striking each other with wicked fists.
You cannot fast as you do today
and expect your voice to be heard on high.
5 Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
only a day for a man to humble himself?
Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed
and for lying on sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
a day acceptable to the LORD ?
6 'Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness [a] will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
There's a pattern here.. WE can't do kingdom things! are righteousness is dung in his sight, it's poop.. see our foundation has to be one of complete brokeness, and dependency on the father, a foundation of repentence. John said it perfectly when he rebuked the pharisees and asked them who said you could escape God's judgement? He told them to repent and produce fruit consistent with repentance. They produced lots of fruit but was it consistent with repentence? Man looking at their fruit we might say that the pharisees loved God but God doesn't look at what man looks at, his ways are higher than ours, he's not like us. We can just be holy by doing holy things, we just can be righteous by imitating it, the holy spirit has to do it. The holy spirit has to lead us, the holy spirit has to break down our pride and make a foundation of repentence, our righteous works have to be produced out of a heart of love sickness for our abba father. But JESUS why use me for I am just a women of unclean lips? And i dwell among those of unlcean lips, but if you ask who will you send? Well JESUS I'll respond I'll be your girl I'll try to be whole hearted because I've been really vain about pursuing righteousness. I don't just want righteousness for righteous sake but abba Dad I want it to be about you.. but when I look at my heart the secret place of my own heart I know that I don't love you as much as I want to...
I see the filthiness in my heart, every impure motive, every habitual good work, every faithless prayer, every time my heart is hardened towards your voice, every time I love my money and I love my time, every time I resist your still quite invitation into the quite place, every time I speak and my words are tainted with bitterness, strife, or envy, you see it all Jesus. And you see this girl that has little faith, little love, and little purity in my pursuit of holiness. You see it all and I can't believe you still love me! I'm still really undone by that, and I'm aksing you Jesus I need help with this whole christian thing, I'm getting to the point of being right there with Moses when he said I'm not going on without you. I think I don't want to do this whole promise land thing without you. I want to walk with you I want you to be my Dad, I don't want to reach the height of something righteous or holy without you. I don't want to lose the point, the means, and the way with this whole walk. I want to be whole hearted, humbled, a servant like you. I want to be like you when I grow up Jesus! You did everything for your father and it was all about your father. Jesus you see all my thoughts .. o0o how they wonder, look how they are majoritively on other things, mostly vain they are focused on how i'm going to make it in this world and make a name for myself in this world when I'm supposed to die to this world. Jesus my thoughts are like a white washed tomb! I want to look so beautiful on the outside, so put together, so holy, so righteous, so right on, so graceful, but Lord I think it would be better if I looked like the cracked out drug addict on the corner of the street. Becuase that cracked out drug addict image would be a more true potrayel of my heart than anything else. I really ugly on the inside, let me not decieve anyone! My heart is deceitfully wicked and without you doing the work the workers labor in vain. And without you walking with me and dwelling inside of me I cannot produce any fruit and these limbs will be thrown into the lake of fire this I KNOW.Actually I'm a lot like Judas in a way Jesus sometimes I use you for selfish gain, to look good, that's why I NEED you to humble me all the time. Because I'm just like Judas I'll walk with you, talk to you, handle your money, let you touch my feet, I'll even kiss you... but my heart can be sooo far from you! I can use you to become someone, and in the end lose you completely! My pride will cause me to fall Lord Jesus that's why I'm desperately asking you to make me whole hearted, I want everything to be about you and for you. I want to pray unceasingly not because I'm a righteous prayer warrior but because my heart is so prone to wonder, more than anyone elses. And often I even think I am someone, and that you love me more, and that I'm more spiritual than other pple, but Jesus you know the truth I am only a fool for you, and I will continually be made out to be a fool for you and you alone!
1 Corinth 3:13-13"Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is. "
18 Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. 19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, “He catches the wise in their own craftiness”;[a] 20 and again, “The LORD knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile.”[
Father let me always be soo foolish and lovesick for you! And if you ever sober me up let it not be for the sake of pleasing man and trying to impress man like I so like to do, but let it be for the act of pleasing man and being all things to all man for the sake of winning their souls for your Glory!
2 Corinth 5:13 "For if we are besides ourselves, it is for the God; or if we are of sound mind it is for you".
O0o Jesus please come and purify me, do what only you can do.. I don't want to boast in the holy things, I don't want to boast in the outpouring of your spirit, I want to boast first and foremost that my name is written in the book of life. Father respond to me tonight. Seal some things in my heart, let me die daily abba. I love you. I'm just asking for a pure heart, to be all there and not elsewhere. I want to be all there wherever you put me, not going elsewhere in my mind.Not out in some other spiritual prideful place. I want to be a servant of all.
"My child, forsake yourself and you shall find Me.Follow no choice of your own, allow yourself no self-seeking, and you will be always growing rich.For fresh grace will be poured into your soul whenever you yield yourself to Me as a gift never to be withdrawn. But how often, O Lord, must I give myself up, in what things must I deny myself? Always and at every hour, in little things and in great alike. I make no exception; I wish you to be found free from self in everything. How else can you be Mine and I be yours, unless you are utterly stripped of your own will? The sooner you do this, the better it will be for you; and the more fully and sincerely you do it, the more you will please Me and profit yourself." -Imitation of Christ.
Father let this blog even be only for the edifying of my own soul, for the building up of the church, and for the Glory of your cross! Amen.
One being I want to be whole hearted now and in Everything! I WANT to die daily when it doesn't seem like a big spiritual cross I WANT to die to the small things, I want to be relevant to you Jesus all the time. I don't really want to step outside of my spirit man anymore..
Second I want to pray unceasingly, I want urgency to consume me, I also long to communicate with you constantly, you must take over my heart. I want to want to die daily, for the joy set before me I want to be with you one day, and I want to do this whole earth thing WITH YOU! It's my season in this side of life and I don't get another chance at it. I don't want to get to eternity and regret not letting your name be Glorified.
Third I want to be a servant of all in the small things, I want you to be Glorified I don't want to seperate spiriutal things from mundane things, I want to bring you into everything. I don't want to be so consumed with spiritual things I forget the most important and that is to serve my brother and sister and to love you whole heartedly in everything. I want to be whole hearted in my thoughts, relationships, and in everything. Can you come tonight and seal these things in my heart??
Dad I don't want to waste the time you've given me, I don't want to waste my thoughts, the money you've given me, this life you so abundantly bless me with, the people in my life, I'm sincerely lost without the holy spirit so send your comforter so that I may walk with the holy spirit and have eyes to see and ears to hear what he's saying. Fulfill the promises you've placed in my heart, I want to love and live like the man that I HAVE a HUGE crush on , the one that I'm longing for attention, affection, and approval from is watching all the time. And that's you Jesus I want to impress you, make you blush, and suprise you with my obedience. Father your son Keith says "obedience is better than sacrifice" kinda of reminds me of
1 Corinth 13
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing".
Lord if I fast yet don't die to my flesh daily and love whole heartedly then what good is the fast? It kind of reminds me of Isaiah 58
3 'Why have we fasted,' they say,
'and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
and you have not noticed?'
'Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
and exploit all your workers.
4 Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,
and in striking each other with wicked fists.
You cannot fast as you do today
and expect your voice to be heard on high.
5 Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
only a day for a man to humble himself?
Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed
and for lying on sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
a day acceptable to the LORD ?
6 'Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness [a] will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
There's a pattern here.. WE can't do kingdom things! are righteousness is dung in his sight, it's poop.. see our foundation has to be one of complete brokeness, and dependency on the father, a foundation of repentence. John said it perfectly when he rebuked the pharisees and asked them who said you could escape God's judgement? He told them to repent and produce fruit consistent with repentance. They produced lots of fruit but was it consistent with repentence? Man looking at their fruit we might say that the pharisees loved God but God doesn't look at what man looks at, his ways are higher than ours, he's not like us. We can just be holy by doing holy things, we just can be righteous by imitating it, the holy spirit has to do it. The holy spirit has to lead us, the holy spirit has to break down our pride and make a foundation of repentence, our righteous works have to be produced out of a heart of love sickness for our abba father. But JESUS why use me for I am just a women of unclean lips? And i dwell among those of unlcean lips, but if you ask who will you send? Well JESUS I'll respond I'll be your girl I'll try to be whole hearted because I've been really vain about pursuing righteousness. I don't just want righteousness for righteous sake but abba Dad I want it to be about you.. but when I look at my heart the secret place of my own heart I know that I don't love you as much as I want to...
I see the filthiness in my heart, every impure motive, every habitual good work, every faithless prayer, every time my heart is hardened towards your voice, every time I love my money and I love my time, every time I resist your still quite invitation into the quite place, every time I speak and my words are tainted with bitterness, strife, or envy, you see it all Jesus. And you see this girl that has little faith, little love, and little purity in my pursuit of holiness. You see it all and I can't believe you still love me! I'm still really undone by that, and I'm aksing you Jesus I need help with this whole christian thing, I'm getting to the point of being right there with Moses when he said I'm not going on without you. I think I don't want to do this whole promise land thing without you. I want to walk with you I want you to be my Dad, I don't want to reach the height of something righteous or holy without you. I don't want to lose the point, the means, and the way with this whole walk. I want to be whole hearted, humbled, a servant like you. I want to be like you when I grow up Jesus! You did everything for your father and it was all about your father. Jesus you see all my thoughts .. o0o how they wonder, look how they are majoritively on other things, mostly vain they are focused on how i'm going to make it in this world and make a name for myself in this world when I'm supposed to die to this world. Jesus my thoughts are like a white washed tomb! I want to look so beautiful on the outside, so put together, so holy, so righteous, so right on, so graceful, but Lord I think it would be better if I looked like the cracked out drug addict on the corner of the street. Becuase that cracked out drug addict image would be a more true potrayel of my heart than anything else. I really ugly on the inside, let me not decieve anyone! My heart is deceitfully wicked and without you doing the work the workers labor in vain. And without you walking with me and dwelling inside of me I cannot produce any fruit and these limbs will be thrown into the lake of fire this I KNOW.Actually I'm a lot like Judas in a way Jesus sometimes I use you for selfish gain, to look good, that's why I NEED you to humble me all the time. Because I'm just like Judas I'll walk with you, talk to you, handle your money, let you touch my feet, I'll even kiss you... but my heart can be sooo far from you! I can use you to become someone, and in the end lose you completely! My pride will cause me to fall Lord Jesus that's why I'm desperately asking you to make me whole hearted, I want everything to be about you and for you. I want to pray unceasingly not because I'm a righteous prayer warrior but because my heart is so prone to wonder, more than anyone elses. And often I even think I am someone, and that you love me more, and that I'm more spiritual than other pple, but Jesus you know the truth I am only a fool for you, and I will continually be made out to be a fool for you and you alone!
1 Corinth 3:13-13"Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is. "
18 Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. 19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, “He catches the wise in their own craftiness”;[a] 20 and again, “The LORD knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile.”[
Father let me always be soo foolish and lovesick for you! And if you ever sober me up let it not be for the sake of pleasing man and trying to impress man like I so like to do, but let it be for the act of pleasing man and being all things to all man for the sake of winning their souls for your Glory!
2 Corinth 5:13 "For if we are besides ourselves, it is for the God; or if we are of sound mind it is for you".
O0o Jesus please come and purify me, do what only you can do.. I don't want to boast in the holy things, I don't want to boast in the outpouring of your spirit, I want to boast first and foremost that my name is written in the book of life. Father respond to me tonight. Seal some things in my heart, let me die daily abba. I love you. I'm just asking for a pure heart, to be all there and not elsewhere. I want to be all there wherever you put me, not going elsewhere in my mind.Not out in some other spiritual prideful place. I want to be a servant of all.
"My child, forsake yourself and you shall find Me.Follow no choice of your own, allow yourself no self-seeking, and you will be always growing rich.For fresh grace will be poured into your soul whenever you yield yourself to Me as a gift never to be withdrawn. But how often, O Lord, must I give myself up, in what things must I deny myself? Always and at every hour, in little things and in great alike. I make no exception; I wish you to be found free from self in everything. How else can you be Mine and I be yours, unless you are utterly stripped of your own will? The sooner you do this, the better it will be for you; and the more fully and sincerely you do it, the more you will please Me and profit yourself." -Imitation of Christ.
Father let this blog even be only for the edifying of my own soul, for the building up of the church, and for the Glory of your cross! Amen.
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