http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgGu782dNX0
"Compelled by Love"-Heide Baker
"Fruitfullness flows from intimacy, fruit from our lives has to come from the secret place"-Heidi Baker.. "wanting my Jesus more and more, wanting his fresh bread."
You are easy, and full of love, and I want to say "YES".
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Obedience through encounters.
I am convinced that the encounter won't sustain us, unless we walk in obedience. Obedience gets us to those encounters, God takes Glory in the encounters and he takes Glory in the grace that we will need to fully walk out those encounters in obedience. I don't want to be deceived.. I need not only revival, but I need a heart resolute on being faithful in obedience.Change of heart Lord! So when the encounter comes I will know how to steward it. Change of heart my sweet Jesus, so that I will be faithful with knowing that obedience will allow me to walk out the change. Truly this is the testing of revival, I want to be a clean, pure,obedient vessel. I want to be faithful with an outpouring.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
8Yes, furthermore, I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege (the overwhelming preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him [of perceiving and recognizing and understanding Him more fully and clearly]. For His sake I have lost everything and consider it all to be mere rubbish (refuse, dregs), in order that I may win (gain) Christ (the Anointed One),
Father you must have it all there is no other gain than you. Give me doves eyes completely focused and visioned on one thing, set me apart Jesus. I'm thirsty for a drink of your love.
I'm laying it all aside. Throwing off what hinders love. O0o this is scary..
oo0o this is death. O0o0 this is beautiful abandonment.This doesn't make me feel comfortable at all but at the same time how can I sit still?
Father you must have it all there is no other gain than you. Give me doves eyes completely focused and visioned on one thing, set me apart Jesus. I'm thirsty for a drink of your love.
I'm laying it all aside. Throwing off what hinders love. O0o this is scary..
oo0o this is death. O0o0 this is beautiful abandonment.This doesn't make me feel comfortable at all but at the same time how can I sit still?
Monday, November 23, 2009
Teach me what is a pure heart?
Holy spirit what is this pure at heart that you speak of? Every time I try to do a pure thing.. poor motives or intentions lie behind them. Sometimes irritation, frustration, and selfish gain. I am sick of myself.. you see it all though don't you? You said the Pure at heart will see God, those who have clean hands. Father give me clean hands grant me a pure heart. Right now I just seek junk, but bring me a little lower. Allow to me to give up, let go, and run hard. Right now I am stuck, I am sleepy, I'm selfish, prideful,fearful, insecure, and hard at heart. Holy spirit come and bring the oil...
Here is my heart. Renew it. Cause my heart to trust you, and please tend to it so that it will be alive on the inside.
Everyday is a day to trust you. Everday is a choice to love you, and to lavish my love on you. Cause me to walk in obedience, to walk with intergrity and to bring your heart Joy you see the secret things. Father is calling me into a intimate setting with just me and him. Father help me endure till the end.
Here is my heart. Renew it. Cause my heart to trust you, and please tend to it so that it will be alive on the inside.
Everyday is a day to trust you. Everday is a choice to love you, and to lavish my love on you. Cause me to walk in obedience, to walk with intergrity and to bring your heart Joy you see the secret things. Father is calling me into a intimate setting with just me and him. Father help me endure till the end.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Hope deferred makes the heart sick. prov 13:12
Here I am.
Ground zero.
Starting over.
I'm looking back at my 20 years of age and am trying to gather all the scraps together wondering what it's all looking like as of now.
I seem to be a little lost in a whirlwind of high hopes, empty dreams, and reality checks. I'm in a cloud and I see what I long for, what I can perceive with my eye. But I'm waiting in the cloud that the Lord has put me in, I guess he's wanting me to seek him and him only. I keep trying to strain my eyes to see if there's any hint of any dreams or visions coming to pass, but I don't see any hope. I'll just have to seek him, get over my impatience, and learn how to rest in him. Sometimes it's a lot easier to love my beloved when I know where's he's taking me, it's a lot easier to trust him when I see with my own eyes the visions unfold. But right now I don't.. not even a stir of the lifeless vision. Here it lay dead. A vision that I don't have enough hope to invest in. So I prayed to you father, and I told you I didn't want that dead vision, for it was no good. From now on it will just be a faint picture in my head, that's painted over with realities of boring college, and lifeless careers that keep you practical. This is where my heart grew faint, and maybe even a little cold.. my heart grew sick because hope was deferred. Surely YOU ARE A GOOD FATHER, is what I kept telling myself and if your not a man that you shall lie.. than in the end whether this vision ever ressurects itself or not. Things are going to turn out victorias, joyful, and fulfilling. I have to hope, I have to paint pictures of the impossible in my mind's eye.
Sometimes I wish I had more vision for the here and now, or that maybe I was one that God called for a pracitcal college career. But sadly I see another picture that I can't get out of mind. I see zealous young people flooding the streets of San Fransisco with authority and boldness. When you look into their eyes, they flood love, and forgiveness. They never let go and they always hope, they'll run after your soul and plead for mercy to a GOOD GOD that can save you. I see them rustling through the busy streets of the city, with eyes on the prize and ears inclined the holy spirit their best friend. He whispers to them thoughts of hope and ressurection a message to be preached to the select few. And when we give the message it floods out of our hearts and you can see it in our eyes.. we've spent time in prayer for you. I see college students with utterings of visions and prophecy on their lips as they present a bold Gospel on Pier 39. You zelous african american's, and asians break dance prophetically claiming the streets with their moves. I see the Gospel like bread the broken and the homeless in San Fransisco. They are fed, and are gladly satisfied with something that finally took the hunger out of their soul. I see me, painted with tattoos, styling the hipsters hair or pouring some coffee over a genuine conversation of the state of ones soul. Love leaps out of my heart, and my eyes of full of compassion because that morning I got up and prayed for that person. I see myself riding my yellow bicycle all across town, joy in my heart knowing that Jesus saves and he loves to do so. For the crack addict I glance at, for the small shriveled asian man selling those beads on the corner of the street. I ride my bike down haight street, a familiar place in my heart I'm wrestling with despair against revival. I walk through the clouds of confusion, and universalism I step through the fog of marijuana and the loud city streets. I see young kids who have given their souls over to finding something.. anything.. that could be real or authentic. Kids that haven't bathed in months and hold dearly onto the ideas of anarchy and liberality. They want no morals yet their hearts are so very wounded from unclaimed boundries everyone seems to rebelliously cross. There is no security except the pride in the their heart, and the fact that they live by their own rules and are fighting to keep themselves dying. These are the streets of the early years of Janis Joplin where she fell in love with drugs, and the free love movement. These kids are holding fast to the hippy age. I see myself praying for these kids, hoping that this will be the day that I see some hearts melt when I see some pride broken. But I have to fight through the confusion, fighting through the mindset of truth being relative in the city of peace. I see myself having a heart of a fighter, a heart of a lover, I invite people to live with me under no circumstances other than they be hungry for Jesus and honest. I see me and my husband having a Keith Green ministry, we are zelous for the Gospel and hoping to see moves of the holy spirit breath on the dry bones around us. We'll meet anywhere, love anyone, pray at anytime we just long to see Jesus move and to be motivated by love and compelled by righteousness. We are young and don't know much, we're light hearted and don't know what we're doing half the time but we're best friends and we love Jesus. I see me with two little boys, they bring joy to my heart and prayer is developed into me it becomes a love language of mine, more like a habit of putting on clothes I put on prayer. Being poured out like a drink offering I pour out the love of the father into the streets of San Fransisco, and I let her know that truth she is so desperately seeking for can be quenched by the deep wells of the love of father. I work as a well digger, one who will put in the time and effort to see a few at first enter the kingdom of God. I long for him to father my heart, and to be a joyful Dad to those he set aside for his good pleasure. But like I said this is only a foggy vision.. a dream left lifeless for now.
Right now he's giving me the pastoral heart, for the girls I share a house with.I don't even see what's infront of me. The times I could be praying I've wasted away, yet longing for a break through I find myself feeling stuck. Just wanting to have fun, or find a way to ignore responsibility. I feel like the holy spirit is always mad at me, so I avoid spending time with him. In actuality when he tugs at my heart and asks me to speak, it's usually like a light kiss not a harmful punch. I don't spend time with Jesus lately, mostly because I suppose I keep myself busy. Or I'm sick of my heart being sick, I'm being impatient and question if he loves me.I can't sit still I just want him to move already..I can't spend time with him because I'm still wrestling with living mediocre. The boring college life seems pretty save.. and I'm not about to plunge off a cliff for a vision I only see a faint picture of. I'm sick of this vision, I'm sick of my heart, and I feel sick of Jesus. Yet I have no where else to go, I've left everything for him and my heart desires nothing less than him and his fullness for my life. To bring kingdom down to earth, is what my soul pants for. I keep trying to convince myself to settle for someone that's not the keith green, but I can't bring myself to. Or to forget about a life higher than mediocre expectations.Father you have to give me eyes for the here and now, you have to help me see what's infront of my face. The preperation you have for me seems mundane, but embed discipline in me a life of prayer father.
This is why I'm at ground zero, I refuse to look at the lifeless vision that only he can ressurect. Yet I also refuse to be a christian and be mediocre.. I'm either going to force myself to live it up as a sinner. Or I'm really going to go after him, and the people that he's calling me to shephard. This is my dilemna, I honestly just need to have him. Whatever that means, I can't trust that even if I spend time with him if I actually know what he says. I just don't want to misinterpret anymore ..so I'm going to spend time with a mute God. I'm going to try to spend time with him, with no direction for future plans. I'm just going to ask that he holds me and brings me peace for my sick heart.
12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" prov. 13:12
Father I ask that you let me eat from the tree of life, it doesn't have to be now. But father satisfy me.
Ground zero.
Starting over.
I'm looking back at my 20 years of age and am trying to gather all the scraps together wondering what it's all looking like as of now.
I seem to be a little lost in a whirlwind of high hopes, empty dreams, and reality checks. I'm in a cloud and I see what I long for, what I can perceive with my eye. But I'm waiting in the cloud that the Lord has put me in, I guess he's wanting me to seek him and him only. I keep trying to strain my eyes to see if there's any hint of any dreams or visions coming to pass, but I don't see any hope. I'll just have to seek him, get over my impatience, and learn how to rest in him. Sometimes it's a lot easier to love my beloved when I know where's he's taking me, it's a lot easier to trust him when I see with my own eyes the visions unfold. But right now I don't.. not even a stir of the lifeless vision. Here it lay dead. A vision that I don't have enough hope to invest in. So I prayed to you father, and I told you I didn't want that dead vision, for it was no good. From now on it will just be a faint picture in my head, that's painted over with realities of boring college, and lifeless careers that keep you practical. This is where my heart grew faint, and maybe even a little cold.. my heart grew sick because hope was deferred. Surely YOU ARE A GOOD FATHER, is what I kept telling myself and if your not a man that you shall lie.. than in the end whether this vision ever ressurects itself or not. Things are going to turn out victorias, joyful, and fulfilling. I have to hope, I have to paint pictures of the impossible in my mind's eye.
Sometimes I wish I had more vision for the here and now, or that maybe I was one that God called for a pracitcal college career. But sadly I see another picture that I can't get out of mind. I see zealous young people flooding the streets of San Fransisco with authority and boldness. When you look into their eyes, they flood love, and forgiveness. They never let go and they always hope, they'll run after your soul and plead for mercy to a GOOD GOD that can save you. I see them rustling through the busy streets of the city, with eyes on the prize and ears inclined the holy spirit their best friend. He whispers to them thoughts of hope and ressurection a message to be preached to the select few. And when we give the message it floods out of our hearts and you can see it in our eyes.. we've spent time in prayer for you. I see college students with utterings of visions and prophecy on their lips as they present a bold Gospel on Pier 39. You zelous african american's, and asians break dance prophetically claiming the streets with their moves. I see the Gospel like bread the broken and the homeless in San Fransisco. They are fed, and are gladly satisfied with something that finally took the hunger out of their soul. I see me, painted with tattoos, styling the hipsters hair or pouring some coffee over a genuine conversation of the state of ones soul. Love leaps out of my heart, and my eyes of full of compassion because that morning I got up and prayed for that person. I see myself riding my yellow bicycle all across town, joy in my heart knowing that Jesus saves and he loves to do so. For the crack addict I glance at, for the small shriveled asian man selling those beads on the corner of the street. I ride my bike down haight street, a familiar place in my heart I'm wrestling with despair against revival. I walk through the clouds of confusion, and universalism I step through the fog of marijuana and the loud city streets. I see young kids who have given their souls over to finding something.. anything.. that could be real or authentic. Kids that haven't bathed in months and hold dearly onto the ideas of anarchy and liberality. They want no morals yet their hearts are so very wounded from unclaimed boundries everyone seems to rebelliously cross. There is no security except the pride in the their heart, and the fact that they live by their own rules and are fighting to keep themselves dying. These are the streets of the early years of Janis Joplin where she fell in love with drugs, and the free love movement. These kids are holding fast to the hippy age. I see myself praying for these kids, hoping that this will be the day that I see some hearts melt when I see some pride broken. But I have to fight through the confusion, fighting through the mindset of truth being relative in the city of peace. I see myself having a heart of a fighter, a heart of a lover, I invite people to live with me under no circumstances other than they be hungry for Jesus and honest. I see me and my husband having a Keith Green ministry, we are zelous for the Gospel and hoping to see moves of the holy spirit breath on the dry bones around us. We'll meet anywhere, love anyone, pray at anytime we just long to see Jesus move and to be motivated by love and compelled by righteousness. We are young and don't know much, we're light hearted and don't know what we're doing half the time but we're best friends and we love Jesus. I see me with two little boys, they bring joy to my heart and prayer is developed into me it becomes a love language of mine, more like a habit of putting on clothes I put on prayer. Being poured out like a drink offering I pour out the love of the father into the streets of San Fransisco, and I let her know that truth she is so desperately seeking for can be quenched by the deep wells of the love of father. I work as a well digger, one who will put in the time and effort to see a few at first enter the kingdom of God. I long for him to father my heart, and to be a joyful Dad to those he set aside for his good pleasure. But like I said this is only a foggy vision.. a dream left lifeless for now.
Right now he's giving me the pastoral heart, for the girls I share a house with.I don't even see what's infront of me. The times I could be praying I've wasted away, yet longing for a break through I find myself feeling stuck. Just wanting to have fun, or find a way to ignore responsibility. I feel like the holy spirit is always mad at me, so I avoid spending time with him. In actuality when he tugs at my heart and asks me to speak, it's usually like a light kiss not a harmful punch. I don't spend time with Jesus lately, mostly because I suppose I keep myself busy. Or I'm sick of my heart being sick, I'm being impatient and question if he loves me.I can't sit still I just want him to move already..I can't spend time with him because I'm still wrestling with living mediocre. The boring college life seems pretty save.. and I'm not about to plunge off a cliff for a vision I only see a faint picture of. I'm sick of this vision, I'm sick of my heart, and I feel sick of Jesus. Yet I have no where else to go, I've left everything for him and my heart desires nothing less than him and his fullness for my life. To bring kingdom down to earth, is what my soul pants for. I keep trying to convince myself to settle for someone that's not the keith green, but I can't bring myself to. Or to forget about a life higher than mediocre expectations.Father you have to give me eyes for the here and now, you have to help me see what's infront of my face. The preperation you have for me seems mundane, but embed discipline in me a life of prayer father.
This is why I'm at ground zero, I refuse to look at the lifeless vision that only he can ressurect. Yet I also refuse to be a christian and be mediocre.. I'm either going to force myself to live it up as a sinner. Or I'm really going to go after him, and the people that he's calling me to shephard. This is my dilemna, I honestly just need to have him. Whatever that means, I can't trust that even if I spend time with him if I actually know what he says. I just don't want to misinterpret anymore ..so I'm going to spend time with a mute God. I'm going to try to spend time with him, with no direction for future plans. I'm just going to ask that he holds me and brings me peace for my sick heart.
12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" prov. 13:12
Father I ask that you let me eat from the tree of life, it doesn't have to be now. But father satisfy me.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Life at almost 20.
I LOVE BEING ON the Teen Mania campus, this place is such a sweet pure innocent pursuit of Jesus. They encourage sweet basic truths, that other christians seem to unlook.. like Integrity, love, servanthood, and leading with humility. I love the interns here.. they're pride is broken, their love is pure, and they are focusing on the simplicity of loving Jesus for yourself.
It makes me want to be alive on the inside. I want my heart to be ravished again, I want my pursuit of Jesus to start in the secret place. I've been nomading my way around to different coffee shops looking for a different atmosphere to do my homework.. I haven't one. I miss my roommate allyssa who simply sits by me, calms me, and explains to me step by step how to do my homework and not be overwelmed. She's a nurterer alright, she's a mother on the inside the type of mother I want to be. Peaceful, encouraging, soft spoken, thoughtful, and calm. I love her. I also love my roommate Ally .. she is the papa for sure- Faithful, smart, handy, full of knowledge and practicality that you can't find on google, and she has a backbone and a protective spirit about her. I love my roommates lynn and emily as well. Lynn brings the house joy.. and I've never met another person that has brought out such awkwardness in me, I love our talks, I love her heart, and I pray for peace all around her. I also love Emily she is more like a sister to me, she is my little sister in a way. I know her heart, I know her intentions, I know her purity in seeking Jesus.. she's the mary I'm the martha at times. She gets fed because she expects our father Jesus to feed her.. I work at times because I expect him to notice my works, and yet I see her gazing at him and I wnt to be like her. She's naive and soo very trusting, I like this about her and there is no fear of man in her. This is great, she encourages me so much.
Life is crazy right now.. I'm seeing all these couples get together. Most of them will be married within two years max. I'm watching them, and I'm in wonder because I knwo that the world wouldn't put these two together, some of the couples don't even make sense.. but they see the beauty of Jesus within each other. And this makes their love so much stronger than any other hot couple the world would put together. This makes me think of my own personal promises from the Lord, I'm pretty content with being single and I won't waiver on the man that God has for me. I'm in no hurry.. my dream was always to be married at 27.. this is a beautiful age and I envy those who have gotten to wait this long. But I belive that the Lord said I would get married young, and I see a lot of puzzle pieces coming together. Bhahaha but I am so patient.. because these things still completely freak me out.
I've been in this coffee shop for ahwile and I love the music they are playing , meditation to my soul.They also played a lot of Keith Green, I really love this. I see beauty in pursuing Jesus right now. He's cleaning house within my soul and I'm coming back to my first love, finding the secret place where I really knew him. Seeking to be alive and in love on the inside.. I would rather not go through the motions at all then go through the motions and have him not show up. It's too dissapointing and it hurts too bad, so in the secret place I'm pretty resolute on finding him. This is my Joy in this lifetime, this is my prize.
My Birfday is coming up.. I'm going to be 20. This is unreal.. I've been in my teens for quite sometime and I now I'm starting to see kids around me and instead of me being the youngest I'm getting up there with the old folk. I'm seeing teens that I am completely suprised with.. I can't believe their younger than me. And this stirs up urgency in my soul.. my life is fading. My life is running out of time. I need to embrace him, I need to find him, I have to be altered by his gaze of grace. I can't just live in this state forever. My attitude had been so poor, I was envying everyone around me, I knew of God, but I didn't know what God felt about me, and I wouldn't give him that part of my heart. I wouldn't let him close.. I wouldn't let him love me directly, fully, I wouldn't let him hold my bare gross exposed heart. I just wouldn't do it, this made me independent.. it was stunting my ability to love my roommates, to love myself, to love him. Becuase I had put him soo far off. Last night was great break through.. He said " Don't move... I want to hold you..Don't Do.. I WANT to love you". This is a song I'm going to write for him, and hopefully when pple listen to this they won't strive they'll hold out their empty hands and receive what the father has for them.
My life is a wirlwind.. and I see things around me..
New Zealand.
Prayer.
NO WORKS, JUST INITMACY.
still ... empty.. bare.. real quite times.
family restoration.
Love abounding, my heart coming alive again..
homework and studying eventually being accomplished and hopefully a discipline forming within me.
20 YEARS.. 20 YEARS OF LIFE..o0 Jesus breath in me.
Missions.
Nursing.
Marriage.
Love.
keith green ministry..
new wine being released.
the love of the father being poured out.
learning how to pray.
More tattoos.. I'm not scared.
growing in love, and growing into the image of Christ.
Letting go of envy, self pity, covettness, and focusing less on myself and more on the beauty of Christ.
Prophetic written songs.
Salvations.
LOVE . HUMILITY. Let them define me. Form me into the image of your son Christ.
Favorite quote of the weekend...
"The way you get good at praying.. is your pray. The way you develope a deeper prayer life is you pray, just pray. There is no formula you just do it, you just pray."
It makes me want to be alive on the inside. I want my heart to be ravished again, I want my pursuit of Jesus to start in the secret place. I've been nomading my way around to different coffee shops looking for a different atmosphere to do my homework.. I haven't one. I miss my roommate allyssa who simply sits by me, calms me, and explains to me step by step how to do my homework and not be overwelmed. She's a nurterer alright, she's a mother on the inside the type of mother I want to be. Peaceful, encouraging, soft spoken, thoughtful, and calm. I love her. I also love my roommate Ally .. she is the papa for sure- Faithful, smart, handy, full of knowledge and practicality that you can't find on google, and she has a backbone and a protective spirit about her. I love my roommates lynn and emily as well. Lynn brings the house joy.. and I've never met another person that has brought out such awkwardness in me, I love our talks, I love her heart, and I pray for peace all around her. I also love Emily she is more like a sister to me, she is my little sister in a way. I know her heart, I know her intentions, I know her purity in seeking Jesus.. she's the mary I'm the martha at times. She gets fed because she expects our father Jesus to feed her.. I work at times because I expect him to notice my works, and yet I see her gazing at him and I wnt to be like her. She's naive and soo very trusting, I like this about her and there is no fear of man in her. This is great, she encourages me so much.
Life is crazy right now.. I'm seeing all these couples get together. Most of them will be married within two years max. I'm watching them, and I'm in wonder because I knwo that the world wouldn't put these two together, some of the couples don't even make sense.. but they see the beauty of Jesus within each other. And this makes their love so much stronger than any other hot couple the world would put together. This makes me think of my own personal promises from the Lord, I'm pretty content with being single and I won't waiver on the man that God has for me. I'm in no hurry.. my dream was always to be married at 27.. this is a beautiful age and I envy those who have gotten to wait this long. But I belive that the Lord said I would get married young, and I see a lot of puzzle pieces coming together. Bhahaha but I am so patient.. because these things still completely freak me out.
I've been in this coffee shop for ahwile and I love the music they are playing , meditation to my soul.They also played a lot of Keith Green, I really love this. I see beauty in pursuing Jesus right now. He's cleaning house within my soul and I'm coming back to my first love, finding the secret place where I really knew him. Seeking to be alive and in love on the inside.. I would rather not go through the motions at all then go through the motions and have him not show up. It's too dissapointing and it hurts too bad, so in the secret place I'm pretty resolute on finding him. This is my Joy in this lifetime, this is my prize.
My Birfday is coming up.. I'm going to be 20. This is unreal.. I've been in my teens for quite sometime and I now I'm starting to see kids around me and instead of me being the youngest I'm getting up there with the old folk. I'm seeing teens that I am completely suprised with.. I can't believe their younger than me. And this stirs up urgency in my soul.. my life is fading. My life is running out of time. I need to embrace him, I need to find him, I have to be altered by his gaze of grace. I can't just live in this state forever. My attitude had been so poor, I was envying everyone around me, I knew of God, but I didn't know what God felt about me, and I wouldn't give him that part of my heart. I wouldn't let him close.. I wouldn't let him love me directly, fully, I wouldn't let him hold my bare gross exposed heart. I just wouldn't do it, this made me independent.. it was stunting my ability to love my roommates, to love myself, to love him. Becuase I had put him soo far off. Last night was great break through.. He said " Don't move... I want to hold you..Don't Do.. I WANT to love you". This is a song I'm going to write for him, and hopefully when pple listen to this they won't strive they'll hold out their empty hands and receive what the father has for them.
My life is a wirlwind.. and I see things around me..
New Zealand.
Prayer.
NO WORKS, JUST INITMACY.
still ... empty.. bare.. real quite times.
family restoration.
Love abounding, my heart coming alive again..
homework and studying eventually being accomplished and hopefully a discipline forming within me.
20 YEARS.. 20 YEARS OF LIFE..o0 Jesus breath in me.
Missions.
Nursing.
Marriage.
Love.
keith green ministry..
new wine being released.
the love of the father being poured out.
learning how to pray.
More tattoos.. I'm not scared.
growing in love, and growing into the image of Christ.
Letting go of envy, self pity, covettness, and focusing less on myself and more on the beauty of Christ.
Prophetic written songs.
Salvations.
LOVE . HUMILITY. Let them define me. Form me into the image of your son Christ.
Favorite quote of the weekend...
"The way you get good at praying.. is your pray. The way you develope a deeper prayer life is you pray, just pray. There is no formula you just do it, you just pray."
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Eagerly Expect the promise! My skeptical heart on Revival and what Jesus says about it.
Jesus there is nothing better to look forward other than the fact that I expect you to come. If I fall short of expecting anything less, than I am in sin and faithless. I remember when you came and changed me for days.. and I remember feeling your presence drift away and I would do anything to keep holding onto it. But I remember it tangibly going away afer a few days, and I begged for it not to. And I tried to spend a lot of time with you in hopes that your presence would still be overflowing.. but I think I expected something to come next.. I started examing, caluculating, and thinking what this was and what it was looking like. And now next when you come and I know you will.. I'll just say Thank you, stay awhile.. dnt kill me but stay awhile. Holy spirit when you come THERE IS NO STRIFE. HOLY SPIRIT WHEN YOU COME THEIR ARE NO MEANS, NO PLANS, NO MANIPULATION.. YOUR PRESENCE OUT DOES ALL OF OUR MAN MADE PLANS, SCHEMES, OR SCHEDULES. HOLY SPIRIT WHEN YOU COME I DNT THINK ABOUT WHT I SHOULD BE DOING, WHAT ELSE I CAN DO, WHAT ELSE COMES NEXT, I JUST GET LOST IN A MOMENT OF ETERNITY. HOLY SPIRIT WHEN YOU COME THERE IS NO WORK TO DO, BUT IT'S LIKE A RIVER OVERFLOWING YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY AND DO AND THERE IS NOTHING TO ADD ONTO THAT. HOLY SPIRIT WHEN YOU COME THERE IS NOTHING ELSE..
Holy spirit when you come.. I feel like I am truly born again that new life has come and I don't even remember what it was like before, I remember calling Jek and telling him I think I just got saved. Holy spirit when you come I dont think before I speak, I don't try to smile, I dnt try to give honor to my parents or boss.. It all is just done by your empowering spirit. When I try to manipulate you to stay.. I lose you. When I try to contain you with some thoughts I lose you.. when I try to monitor or mute you I lose you.. when I feed any ounce of fear or selfish ambition you flee. When I don't just sit and stay undone when I try to get up your gone. Holy spirit when you come and I know you will again... I won't do a thing..
Holy spirit please touch me again.. I know revival is coming.
And THAT IS SUCH A WEIRD THING FOR ME TO SAY! Because I was more concerned with my character, my discipline, my love.. but holy spirit fulfills all those things.. but he gets the COMPLETE GLORY FOR IT. We won't be able to say a thing or add anything onto what the holy spirit does.. we'll just sit back and give Glory to the Father. Jesus I'm starting to recall the true moments and tastes of revival that I've seen.. and I remember getting lost in a whirlwind but when I tried to figure it out you left, when I tried to name it and claim it or manipulate it you fleed. You WILL HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH MAN MADE WISDOM. Because you are the promise of the Father you are NOT a step,a plan,an action,a wise decision, you are the fulfillment of what our abba promised. But holy spirit you are sensative.. and I don't want to grieve you this time. The spirit of this age has stolen so much but in a moment you restore soo much! and when you come THERE IS NOTHING ELSE. I keep feeling you say when I show up there is nothing else.. there is nothing else to look forward to, to plan for, it's the ultimate fulfillment of our soul. There is nothing else, I know when I tasted you I realised what real manna tasted like.. and now I'm hungry for more. And yes I love you and yes I know you.. but remember when the holy spirit was poured out you were LIKE IN THE ROOM WITH ME! YOU WERE LIKE FLOWING OUT OF MY MOUTH AND ON THE PHONE WHEN I TALKED TO PEOPLE AND IN THE KEYS OF MY COMPUTER.I seriously looked undone, and lovesick I remember now! You brought Complete revelation and I couldn't fathom going back to ingnorance.. when you come holy spirit everything else that we were doing before you came feels like complete ignorance not that we should by all means stop doing it. But we had put soo much emphasis on it.. and it became so impure.. but holy spirit when you come! Everything is like.. purifed! I remember that I felt the substance of real love, and true authenticity coming out of me and I remember it was pure. I didn't even have to wrestle with my thoughts, I didn't even have to repent for me heart, I didn't even have to try or strive, we just talked together non stop like it should be.. It was like all the sudden easy... Like you were all the sudden touching me and in the room with me and it was like pure bliss..
I want to go back to that moment.. I don't want you to flee..
I don't want to trade cop-out revelation for the divine ones that you show up with. I remember when the holy spirit showed me every impure thought and motive that I had in attempts of seeking him. And he left me with "YOU MUST COME TO ME WITH A PURE HEART" you must only want me, not even expecting him to solve our problems.. he already knows are problems better than we do. And like when the holy spirit comes he's better at praying for our problems and dealing with our problems than we are. Tonight the holy spirit came with a promise that HE WILL COME AGAIN! and I will in fact feel what I've felt agaian.
I've been wrestling with my heart about revival..
trying to wrap my carnal mind around it..
And really just being honest with the father about it and I basically was content with not having it because I had this whole mindset as a daughter not to expect or ask so much, not to be so forward and to be content with what I've been given. And to show Jesus that I'm really just seeking purity like trying to Just love or be humble. But then the Lord showed me that I was fearful.. and faithless.. and that I had this concept and mindset that he was a dad that could only afford to give me so little.. But he showed me that he is a father that is really rich and really full. And that he WANTS AND DESIRES to bring revival because he knows that in myself I cannot want him with a passion that blazes, I cannot want him with hunger, I cannot pant for him like the holy spirit does. And that if I asked the holy spirit would show up and I know and am now confident that he will come! I was once convinced that I was at dbc to focus on Preaching the Gospel I was going to keep it basic and just preach the Gospel and just be faithful in that. But now I see that I am in fact at DBC waiting on a promise.. waiting on a taste that will leave me wrecked and hungry for more the rest of my life. That will not only give way for me to preach the Gospel but will ACTUALLY empower me to preach the Gospel NOT JUST WITH AUTHORITY IN WHICH THE HOLY SPIRIT HAS GIVEN ME. But he will come and ACTUALLY save souls without any effort or strive on my part. I won't look for the words to say.. I want have to muster up the passion or the urgency, but I will be wounded and forever wrecked with it.
And NOW I'm here to say.. I am no longer afraid, skeptical, or hesitant about revival. I may still not fully understand it but this understanding I do have.. REVIVAL WILL LEAVE ME HUNGRY, AND THAT HUNGER WILL BRING GLORY TO JESUS THE REST OF MY LIFE BECAUSE I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SHAKE THE IMPACT IT HAS ON ME, AND THE URGENCY IT WILL PRESS ON MY SOUL. Now the Lord told me dnt stop doing what your doing.. you do your part and I'll do mine.
I am no longer content with just this but I'm this bold daughter marching into the throne room, going right up to my daddy and telling him "HEY! DAD! SEND YOUR PROMISE! SO THAT I CAN WANT YOU MORE!" And my Dad with all love in his eyes gives me this glance that promises the Holy spirit, and tells me to be patient. That I will see the promise come to pass, he wants me to be a faithful patient daughter, yet he wants me to be the MOST TRUSTING daughter that he's ever had. And so here I am TRUSTING THAT THE FATHER WILL COME IN A TANGIBLE WAY! AND I'M NOT LONGER CONTENT WITH SAYING THAT I NEED HIM IN A PRACTICAL WAY AND NOT A TANGIBLE WAY. Because once the holy spirit comes he will minister in such a way that is soo practical,real, and relevant to the people that he's ministering to.. the holy spirit can bring the Gospel in such a specific way to each soul, we can't even fathom.The holy spirit is soo detailed and so precise HE NEVER MISSED THE MARK. And we're in a cloud, but the holy spirit is like an arrow and he never misses. Jesus I have never been more sure.. there is just nothing more.. nothing more than you. What else can I hope for or live for or look forward to? Yea I'll keep doing what I'm doing being faithful at work, with my family, and with school.. but every minute there is NOTHING more precious and more beneficial than contenting for the holy spirit to come in such a way that he brings about such devine hunger, we will never be the same. And never shrink back into ignorance because we will have tasted a tangible living God, and father allow me to nurture the holy spirit when he comes because I know now he is sensative and I won't get in the way anymore, I'll just let him do what he wants and not even plan the affects or draw backs from it.
Holy spirit when you come.. I feel like I am truly born again that new life has come and I don't even remember what it was like before, I remember calling Jek and telling him I think I just got saved. Holy spirit when you come I dont think before I speak, I don't try to smile, I dnt try to give honor to my parents or boss.. It all is just done by your empowering spirit. When I try to manipulate you to stay.. I lose you. When I try to contain you with some thoughts I lose you.. when I try to monitor or mute you I lose you.. when I feed any ounce of fear or selfish ambition you flee. When I don't just sit and stay undone when I try to get up your gone. Holy spirit when you come and I know you will again... I won't do a thing..
Holy spirit please touch me again.. I know revival is coming.
And THAT IS SUCH A WEIRD THING FOR ME TO SAY! Because I was more concerned with my character, my discipline, my love.. but holy spirit fulfills all those things.. but he gets the COMPLETE GLORY FOR IT. We won't be able to say a thing or add anything onto what the holy spirit does.. we'll just sit back and give Glory to the Father. Jesus I'm starting to recall the true moments and tastes of revival that I've seen.. and I remember getting lost in a whirlwind but when I tried to figure it out you left, when I tried to name it and claim it or manipulate it you fleed. You WILL HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH MAN MADE WISDOM. Because you are the promise of the Father you are NOT a step,a plan,an action,a wise decision, you are the fulfillment of what our abba promised. But holy spirit you are sensative.. and I don't want to grieve you this time. The spirit of this age has stolen so much but in a moment you restore soo much! and when you come THERE IS NOTHING ELSE. I keep feeling you say when I show up there is nothing else.. there is nothing else to look forward to, to plan for, it's the ultimate fulfillment of our soul. There is nothing else, I know when I tasted you I realised what real manna tasted like.. and now I'm hungry for more. And yes I love you and yes I know you.. but remember when the holy spirit was poured out you were LIKE IN THE ROOM WITH ME! YOU WERE LIKE FLOWING OUT OF MY MOUTH AND ON THE PHONE WHEN I TALKED TO PEOPLE AND IN THE KEYS OF MY COMPUTER.I seriously looked undone, and lovesick I remember now! You brought Complete revelation and I couldn't fathom going back to ingnorance.. when you come holy spirit everything else that we were doing before you came feels like complete ignorance not that we should by all means stop doing it. But we had put soo much emphasis on it.. and it became so impure.. but holy spirit when you come! Everything is like.. purifed! I remember that I felt the substance of real love, and true authenticity coming out of me and I remember it was pure. I didn't even have to wrestle with my thoughts, I didn't even have to repent for me heart, I didn't even have to try or strive, we just talked together non stop like it should be.. It was like all the sudden easy... Like you were all the sudden touching me and in the room with me and it was like pure bliss..
I want to go back to that moment.. I don't want you to flee..
I don't want to trade cop-out revelation for the divine ones that you show up with. I remember when the holy spirit showed me every impure thought and motive that I had in attempts of seeking him. And he left me with "YOU MUST COME TO ME WITH A PURE HEART" you must only want me, not even expecting him to solve our problems.. he already knows are problems better than we do. And like when the holy spirit comes he's better at praying for our problems and dealing with our problems than we are. Tonight the holy spirit came with a promise that HE WILL COME AGAIN! and I will in fact feel what I've felt agaian.
I've been wrestling with my heart about revival..
trying to wrap my carnal mind around it..
And really just being honest with the father about it and I basically was content with not having it because I had this whole mindset as a daughter not to expect or ask so much, not to be so forward and to be content with what I've been given. And to show Jesus that I'm really just seeking purity like trying to Just love or be humble. But then the Lord showed me that I was fearful.. and faithless.. and that I had this concept and mindset that he was a dad that could only afford to give me so little.. But he showed me that he is a father that is really rich and really full. And that he WANTS AND DESIRES to bring revival because he knows that in myself I cannot want him with a passion that blazes, I cannot want him with hunger, I cannot pant for him like the holy spirit does. And that if I asked the holy spirit would show up and I know and am now confident that he will come! I was once convinced that I was at dbc to focus on Preaching the Gospel I was going to keep it basic and just preach the Gospel and just be faithful in that. But now I see that I am in fact at DBC waiting on a promise.. waiting on a taste that will leave me wrecked and hungry for more the rest of my life. That will not only give way for me to preach the Gospel but will ACTUALLY empower me to preach the Gospel NOT JUST WITH AUTHORITY IN WHICH THE HOLY SPIRIT HAS GIVEN ME. But he will come and ACTUALLY save souls without any effort or strive on my part. I won't look for the words to say.. I want have to muster up the passion or the urgency, but I will be wounded and forever wrecked with it.
And NOW I'm here to say.. I am no longer afraid, skeptical, or hesitant about revival. I may still not fully understand it but this understanding I do have.. REVIVAL WILL LEAVE ME HUNGRY, AND THAT HUNGER WILL BRING GLORY TO JESUS THE REST OF MY LIFE BECAUSE I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SHAKE THE IMPACT IT HAS ON ME, AND THE URGENCY IT WILL PRESS ON MY SOUL. Now the Lord told me dnt stop doing what your doing.. you do your part and I'll do mine.
I am no longer content with just this but I'm this bold daughter marching into the throne room, going right up to my daddy and telling him "HEY! DAD! SEND YOUR PROMISE! SO THAT I CAN WANT YOU MORE!" And my Dad with all love in his eyes gives me this glance that promises the Holy spirit, and tells me to be patient. That I will see the promise come to pass, he wants me to be a faithful patient daughter, yet he wants me to be the MOST TRUSTING daughter that he's ever had. And so here I am TRUSTING THAT THE FATHER WILL COME IN A TANGIBLE WAY! AND I'M NOT LONGER CONTENT WITH SAYING THAT I NEED HIM IN A PRACTICAL WAY AND NOT A TANGIBLE WAY. Because once the holy spirit comes he will minister in such a way that is soo practical,real, and relevant to the people that he's ministering to.. the holy spirit can bring the Gospel in such a specific way to each soul, we can't even fathom.The holy spirit is soo detailed and so precise HE NEVER MISSED THE MARK. And we're in a cloud, but the holy spirit is like an arrow and he never misses. Jesus I have never been more sure.. there is just nothing more.. nothing more than you. What else can I hope for or live for or look forward to? Yea I'll keep doing what I'm doing being faithful at work, with my family, and with school.. but every minute there is NOTHING more precious and more beneficial than contenting for the holy spirit to come in such a way that he brings about such devine hunger, we will never be the same. And never shrink back into ignorance because we will have tasted a tangible living God, and father allow me to nurture the holy spirit when he comes because I know now he is sensative and I won't get in the way anymore, I'll just let him do what he wants and not even plan the affects or draw backs from it.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Without Faith it is Sin.
Without FAITH our prayers are sin..
Without Faith our selfish love is sin, unless it's him..
Without faith we are nothing and will accomplish nothing on manmade wisdom.
Without faith we will trade the real holy spirit, of wisdom, and revelation for a cop-out.
Without Faith what hope do we have?
Without Faith, are we really sure of what we do not see? Are we really saved with faith knowing that he will bring about our salvation that it's not just a nice idea we felt excited to jump on the bandwagon for.. Salvation doesn't just get us to heaven, salvation brings us to Jesus, and what a fearful thing to fall in the hands of angry God (Hebrews)
Do we have faith for the broken? Do we have faith for the Lost? What about the physically ill? The Lord's plan since the beggining is to bring mankind to himself.
Our father is the perfect lover he had his perfect angels, and even when he created the world he had some perfect creatures that refelcted his Glory, and uniqueness in every way. But he wanted to create a lover for himself.. someone he would fight for, someone that would ravish his heart, someone that he would long for, so he created us.. beloved we are the apple of his eye.. Israel is the apple of his eye, us gentiles who have been grafted in have been grafted in to his loving gaze. His firey jelous gaze, in the end he will have us. I'm not sure what that looks like.. My eyes cannot fathom the day of the Lord. But over and over again he tells the people when he brings about signs, wonders, and miracles.. behold the kingdom has been brought near. Well if the kingdom is forcefully advancing and forceful men lay hold of it, and the kingdom is getting near, and all mankind is shaking, and their hearts are in longing for eternity since he set that desire there. Shouldn't we stir up our inner man to pray for Faith.. if we are forceful men and women beloved, let's have the faith that moves the mountains.. let's go hand in hand and accomplish what the Lord already wants to do. When the son of man returns will he find that faith on the earth? Will he beloved, will we be crying out night and day to the good judge? Our loving father.. or will we be lovers of ourselves? Loving to hear what tickles our ears? Are our conversations to please him? If their not to love and honor him.. than what right do we have to take his breadth that he so freely gives us and to talk with the lips he made for kissing him. The psalms says Kiss the son lest he be angry.. Kiss the son Beloved!
11 Serve the LORD with fear
and rejoice with trembling.
12 Kiss the Son, lest he be angry
and you be destroyed in your way,
for his wrath can flare up in a moment.
Blessed are all who take refuge in him.
Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, step into the faith the armor that he has set up for you, lay hold of his heart by cleansing the inside of your cup. Pray to line up your heart with his that's what pray does.. and contend, intercede, and weep and fast for what the Lord wants to do.. he intercedes for us, lets join in him with Faith!
Without Faith our selfish love is sin, unless it's him..
Without faith we are nothing and will accomplish nothing on manmade wisdom.
Without faith we will trade the real holy spirit, of wisdom, and revelation for a cop-out.
Without Faith what hope do we have?
Without Faith, are we really sure of what we do not see? Are we really saved with faith knowing that he will bring about our salvation that it's not just a nice idea we felt excited to jump on the bandwagon for.. Salvation doesn't just get us to heaven, salvation brings us to Jesus, and what a fearful thing to fall in the hands of angry God (Hebrews)
Do we have faith for the broken? Do we have faith for the Lost? What about the physically ill? The Lord's plan since the beggining is to bring mankind to himself.
Our father is the perfect lover he had his perfect angels, and even when he created the world he had some perfect creatures that refelcted his Glory, and uniqueness in every way. But he wanted to create a lover for himself.. someone he would fight for, someone that would ravish his heart, someone that he would long for, so he created us.. beloved we are the apple of his eye.. Israel is the apple of his eye, us gentiles who have been grafted in have been grafted in to his loving gaze. His firey jelous gaze, in the end he will have us. I'm not sure what that looks like.. My eyes cannot fathom the day of the Lord. But over and over again he tells the people when he brings about signs, wonders, and miracles.. behold the kingdom has been brought near. Well if the kingdom is forcefully advancing and forceful men lay hold of it, and the kingdom is getting near, and all mankind is shaking, and their hearts are in longing for eternity since he set that desire there. Shouldn't we stir up our inner man to pray for Faith.. if we are forceful men and women beloved, let's have the faith that moves the mountains.. let's go hand in hand and accomplish what the Lord already wants to do. When the son of man returns will he find that faith on the earth? Will he beloved, will we be crying out night and day to the good judge? Our loving father.. or will we be lovers of ourselves? Loving to hear what tickles our ears? Are our conversations to please him? If their not to love and honor him.. than what right do we have to take his breadth that he so freely gives us and to talk with the lips he made for kissing him. The psalms says Kiss the son lest he be angry.. Kiss the son Beloved!
11 Serve the LORD with fear
and rejoice with trembling.
12 Kiss the Son, lest he be angry
and you be destroyed in your way,
for his wrath can flare up in a moment.
Blessed are all who take refuge in him.
Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, step into the faith the armor that he has set up for you, lay hold of his heart by cleansing the inside of your cup. Pray to line up your heart with his that's what pray does.. and contend, intercede, and weep and fast for what the Lord wants to do.. he intercedes for us, lets join in him with Faith!
Friday, April 17, 2009
!
Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. precious one that I know.. beloved savior, sweet abba, the son of David! , Son of man!, do not pass me by.. without your touch I will fall into misery, without your love I'll die, I need your fragrance, I liked when you embraced me I was messed up for days after you held me.. Holy spirit rest on my soul, remove the veil. The veil of deceit, sin, selfishness, or hatred. Make me love my mom again.. do some supernatural work. Let me give into the kingdom more than I would on my own, let me pray more than I can on my own, let me love with more love that is in me, I want to decrease so that you can increase.
Jesus.. You know what has been pricking my heart lately.. You know Jesus...
Desire to give all to you, yet your quiting me down, asking me to wait, Yes Lord I will seek your face.
I will wait for your promises I will hold fast. I know that your purposes will come to past, o0o woe is me a women with unclean lips and I dwell among those with unclean lips. I desire to be yours yet I can barely lift my face towards heaven.. because I am NOTHING and you have given me mercy. I didn't just one day decide to get my act together, you supernaturally chose me, put your loving imprint on my soul and I will never be the same. I thirst, I long, I pant for this living G-d to dwell among the land of the living.. to see your agape love all around me, to breath in your zoe breadth of LIFE. I am dead to this world yet alive in Christ!
Jesus you know what's been on my heart you see all my insecurities, you see every hidden place, you see the confusion the lies of the enemy. I ask for a few things..
With all the wacky people that I've met, with all the confusion that I've seen, with all the legalism, the religiousity, the faith in a doctrine or denomination, I have your word, I have your holy spirit, I have your peace.. You see the hearts of every person and you will weigh each deed.. not just by the law but you will weigh our love and faith in obtaining the law. The law says do not committ adultery and you stepped in and said do not even lust in your heart.. Jesus gave us grace to not just do the law but to carry the same spirit that fulfills the law..
21"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder,[a] and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' 22But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother[b]will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca,[c]' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell.
Jesus didn't come to make things easy.. he came to make things pure. He raised the standard of the law.. the law judged the outside. Jesus took us by suprise and judged our hearts, and in that we all stand condemned. We all have fallen short of his sweet Glory with no way of obtaining it again. Yet our father in his great mercy gave us supernatural grace to have the same spirit that brings life to destroy the work of sin/death inside of us. Greater who is us than who is in this world.
Hallelujah! You are making things pure, your purifying the inside of the cup! Don't let us be white washed tombs! You see through all our religious efforts, all our masquerades, all our vain attempts and selfish conceit. You see our hearts! Oo0o we cry out for mercy and grace! You who sees every faucet of our hearts, even the faucets that are unknown to us. Holy spirit lead us in all truth show us our impurities so that we can be refined.
38"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'[g] 39But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
He did the impossible he weighed the laws.. like when the pharisee saw the samaritan it would've been unlawful for him to touch something unclean especially on the sabbath. But Jesus gives this parable to say "Hey their are two conflicting laws.. should he touch what is unclean on the sabbath? Or should he love his neighbor as himself? What was the higher law beloved? He says if we love our neighbor as ourselves that all the laws are fulfilled in that law. That's what Jesus did for us, he was the law in the flesh, and all that he did was fulfilled in that commandment to love mankind more than he loved himself. To take on our sin, our shame, so that he could honor the father. He didn't do it be righteous, he didn't do it for any other reason other than his love for us. He bought us with a price!
jESUS i ASK..
Give me patience to wait on your promises, I will unceasingly Pray!
Lord Because I trust you and can't care for anything apart from you, so I don't want it if it's not you. It's you who teaches us how to love selflessly, you know if my heart is ready to die to myself once again and start a new life with another. You know who he is, you know father and our marriage will reflect your heart towards your beloved bride, your beloved life, your beloved sanctuary, your "church" we like to say.. Even though that word has lost it's meaning.
Father you know the direction my life is going to take, springs of living water wash out all that is of myself. I want to Glorify you with my life, to die is to gain!
Jesus thank you for this.. I LOVE YOU TONIGHT, LET ME LOVE YOU MORE TOMMORROW!
Jesus.. You know what has been pricking my heart lately.. You know Jesus...
Desire to give all to you, yet your quiting me down, asking me to wait, Yes Lord I will seek your face.
I will wait for your promises I will hold fast. I know that your purposes will come to past, o0o woe is me a women with unclean lips and I dwell among those with unclean lips. I desire to be yours yet I can barely lift my face towards heaven.. because I am NOTHING and you have given me mercy. I didn't just one day decide to get my act together, you supernaturally chose me, put your loving imprint on my soul and I will never be the same. I thirst, I long, I pant for this living G-d to dwell among the land of the living.. to see your agape love all around me, to breath in your zoe breadth of LIFE. I am dead to this world yet alive in Christ!
Jesus you know what's been on my heart you see all my insecurities, you see every hidden place, you see the confusion the lies of the enemy. I ask for a few things..
With all the wacky people that I've met, with all the confusion that I've seen, with all the legalism, the religiousity, the faith in a doctrine or denomination, I have your word, I have your holy spirit, I have your peace.. You see the hearts of every person and you will weigh each deed.. not just by the law but you will weigh our love and faith in obtaining the law. The law says do not committ adultery and you stepped in and said do not even lust in your heart.. Jesus gave us grace to not just do the law but to carry the same spirit that fulfills the law..
21"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder,[a] and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' 22But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother[b]will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca,[c]' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell.
Jesus didn't come to make things easy.. he came to make things pure. He raised the standard of the law.. the law judged the outside. Jesus took us by suprise and judged our hearts, and in that we all stand condemned. We all have fallen short of his sweet Glory with no way of obtaining it again. Yet our father in his great mercy gave us supernatural grace to have the same spirit that brings life to destroy the work of sin/death inside of us. Greater who is us than who is in this world.
Hallelujah! You are making things pure, your purifying the inside of the cup! Don't let us be white washed tombs! You see through all our religious efforts, all our masquerades, all our vain attempts and selfish conceit. You see our hearts! Oo0o we cry out for mercy and grace! You who sees every faucet of our hearts, even the faucets that are unknown to us. Holy spirit lead us in all truth show us our impurities so that we can be refined.
38"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'[g] 39But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
He did the impossible he weighed the laws.. like when the pharisee saw the samaritan it would've been unlawful for him to touch something unclean especially on the sabbath. But Jesus gives this parable to say "Hey their are two conflicting laws.. should he touch what is unclean on the sabbath? Or should he love his neighbor as himself? What was the higher law beloved? He says if we love our neighbor as ourselves that all the laws are fulfilled in that law. That's what Jesus did for us, he was the law in the flesh, and all that he did was fulfilled in that commandment to love mankind more than he loved himself. To take on our sin, our shame, so that he could honor the father. He didn't do it be righteous, he didn't do it for any other reason other than his love for us. He bought us with a price!
jESUS i ASK..
Give me patience to wait on your promises, I will unceasingly Pray!
Lord Because I trust you and can't care for anything apart from you, so I don't want it if it's not you. It's you who teaches us how to love selflessly, you know if my heart is ready to die to myself once again and start a new life with another. You know who he is, you know father and our marriage will reflect your heart towards your beloved bride, your beloved life, your beloved sanctuary, your "church" we like to say.. Even though that word has lost it's meaning.
Father you know the direction my life is going to take, springs of living water wash out all that is of myself. I want to Glorify you with my life, to die is to gain!
Jesus thank you for this.. I LOVE YOU TONIGHT, LET ME LOVE YOU MORE TOMMORROW!
Saturday, April 11, 2009
True Purity.
I haven't really figured out what this blog is.. is it a prayer offered up to Jesus? Is it confessions, and scramblings of thoughts that come out of a pocket in my heart that the holy spirit has been pouring into and pruning? I'm not sure but I felt compelled to type out exactly what I mean Jesus.. you know my heart.. now let me articulate..
Jesus what is purity? Beloved what is purity? There's a scripture in Pslms that asks who can ascend to the mountain of the Lord? One with a pure heart and clean hands, one that doesn't lift their soul to another, or swear falsly
Pslm 24 Who may ascend the hill of the LORD ?
Who may stand in his holy place?
4 He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not lift up his soul to an idol
or swear by what is false. [a]
5 He will receive blessing from the LORD
and vindication from God his Savior.
6 Such is the generation of those who seek him,
who seek your face, O God of Jacob. [b]
Selah
7 Lift up your heads, O you gates;
be lifted up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
8 Who is this King of glory?
The LORD strong and mighty,
the LORD mighty in battle.
9 Lift up your heads, O you gates;
lift them up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
10 Who is he, this King of glory?
The LORD Almighty—
he is the King of glory.
Selah
Jesus I had an encounter in my room with you when I was seeking your face, when I challenged you as a teenager that I wasn't going to chase you unless you were real and authentic and I gave you everything I had those few days and you wrecked me. I still remember that sweet simple message you gave me that pierced my heart for the past six years. I kept praying it I remember it was sweet to my soul, I wanted a pure heart, and clean hands. I wanted to pure in my intentions and affections I just wanted to be real I wanted clean hands. The holy spirit had spoken to me that it's all about being pure, but can we be pure on our own? Certainly not! We need you holy spirit to lead us in all truth, see my heart is deceitfully wicked I will seek the holy spirit for my blessings, my spiritual hype, my word or prophecy, my gifts, my attention, my respect, my name, my Glory, my fame, my future, My husband, my ministry, my name sake, to save my own face. But Jesus had to circumsize layer after layer of why I need to seek him. A lot of things have been pricking my heart lately.. Maybe it's satan trying to discourage me or maybe it's the holy spirit pricking me to test my own heart. Whatever it is, it's put the fear of G-d in me and even as I type my soul is longing for the Lord. Because he's the only one I can hold onto right now. I went to see some friends lead worship the other night, these guys are amazing talented and annointed and I'm pretty sure all of the charismatic southern church go-ers know this also. So their of course was a lot of excitement leading up to them leading worship, probably a lot of impure motives to see these talented musicians play, probably a lot of misplaced hye. He addressed the church with a rebuke for the church's sake when ushering in the presence of the Lord. I'm sure he knows just like every other minister that even the audience has false expectations. He basically made some statements that were bold and upfront about the true reasons to come to a worship night and then gave the opportunity for the audience to leave, it was very good. Reminded me of Keith Green in a lot of ways. I felt really had peace when he addressed the audience with this message, I was cleansing my own soul of false expectations of a "Bless Me" meeting ,and just wanted to stare into my father's heart and know him. And being ushered into worship with the washing of a rebuking cleanse made my heart tender. We then just waited on the Lord, it was good. But towards the end of the night as they jumped from one song to the next I started to fix my eyes off Jesus and was wondering about some of the crazy audience members. I feel as if I've gotten into this place of really realising when the Lord and the holy spirit shows up verses us just substituting the real holy spirit for a false cop out. I didn't know if the pple that were acting crazy falling on the floor were really getting touched or not, I didn't know if the guy was really getting healed, or if some of the girls really knew that this wasn't a concert and we probably shouldn't be jumping on chairs when are shirts are low and shorts too short. Ok.. so you see hear are all my filthy judgemental thoughts, Who am I to judge? I was so refreshed that the church had been rebuked yet I had fallen into the same thing I was warned against. My eyes became off Jesus.. see instead of being so concerned about the holy spirit showing up and obsessing over us having a bless me meeting. I became the holy spirit judge, judging the hearts of God's people making sure if the holy spirit did move with healings and power people were recognizing that verses their own flesh. My own wickedness kinda disgusted me.. and made me realise how horrible I am and how much I was missing out on just loving him during the service.The holy spirit resists the proud but gives grace to the humble, even if those pple expected such a might move of the holy spirit they got caught up doing crazy things in faith to manipulate or bring the move of the Lord. That's still more pure, than me judging them and not focusing on Jesus. Even if those girls were treating it like a concert, maybe they were really excited to listen to music that honored G-d and maybe they haven't gotten conviction on modesty, their motives are still more pure than my judgemental ones. The Lord says that we cannot judge people's hearts we can judge the sin but we can't assume the root of the sin.. because some people yes even christians are ignorant and without the holy spirit bringing conviction of things and shining light on dark areas who are we to judge? What is not brought into light?
My heart is deceitfully wicked.
I had another instance recently that really has messed me up but I want to elaborate more on that later....my back is really bothering me right now, Jesus please heal my back.
Jesus what is purity? Beloved what is purity? There's a scripture in Pslms that asks who can ascend to the mountain of the Lord? One with a pure heart and clean hands, one that doesn't lift their soul to another, or swear falsly
Pslm 24 Who may ascend the hill of the LORD ?
Who may stand in his holy place?
4 He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not lift up his soul to an idol
or swear by what is false. [a]
5 He will receive blessing from the LORD
and vindication from God his Savior.
6 Such is the generation of those who seek him,
who seek your face, O God of Jacob. [b]
Selah
7 Lift up your heads, O you gates;
be lifted up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
8 Who is this King of glory?
The LORD strong and mighty,
the LORD mighty in battle.
9 Lift up your heads, O you gates;
lift them up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
10 Who is he, this King of glory?
The LORD Almighty—
he is the King of glory.
Selah
Jesus I had an encounter in my room with you when I was seeking your face, when I challenged you as a teenager that I wasn't going to chase you unless you were real and authentic and I gave you everything I had those few days and you wrecked me. I still remember that sweet simple message you gave me that pierced my heart for the past six years. I kept praying it I remember it was sweet to my soul, I wanted a pure heart, and clean hands. I wanted to pure in my intentions and affections I just wanted to be real I wanted clean hands. The holy spirit had spoken to me that it's all about being pure, but can we be pure on our own? Certainly not! We need you holy spirit to lead us in all truth, see my heart is deceitfully wicked I will seek the holy spirit for my blessings, my spiritual hype, my word or prophecy, my gifts, my attention, my respect, my name, my Glory, my fame, my future, My husband, my ministry, my name sake, to save my own face. But Jesus had to circumsize layer after layer of why I need to seek him. A lot of things have been pricking my heart lately.. Maybe it's satan trying to discourage me or maybe it's the holy spirit pricking me to test my own heart. Whatever it is, it's put the fear of G-d in me and even as I type my soul is longing for the Lord. Because he's the only one I can hold onto right now. I went to see some friends lead worship the other night, these guys are amazing talented and annointed and I'm pretty sure all of the charismatic southern church go-ers know this also. So their of course was a lot of excitement leading up to them leading worship, probably a lot of impure motives to see these talented musicians play, probably a lot of misplaced hye. He addressed the church with a rebuke for the church's sake when ushering in the presence of the Lord. I'm sure he knows just like every other minister that even the audience has false expectations. He basically made some statements that were bold and upfront about the true reasons to come to a worship night and then gave the opportunity for the audience to leave, it was very good. Reminded me of Keith Green in a lot of ways. I felt really had peace when he addressed the audience with this message, I was cleansing my own soul of false expectations of a "Bless Me" meeting ,and just wanted to stare into my father's heart and know him. And being ushered into worship with the washing of a rebuking cleanse made my heart tender. We then just waited on the Lord, it was good. But towards the end of the night as they jumped from one song to the next I started to fix my eyes off Jesus and was wondering about some of the crazy audience members. I feel as if I've gotten into this place of really realising when the Lord and the holy spirit shows up verses us just substituting the real holy spirit for a false cop out. I didn't know if the pple that were acting crazy falling on the floor were really getting touched or not, I didn't know if the guy was really getting healed, or if some of the girls really knew that this wasn't a concert and we probably shouldn't be jumping on chairs when are shirts are low and shorts too short. Ok.. so you see hear are all my filthy judgemental thoughts, Who am I to judge? I was so refreshed that the church had been rebuked yet I had fallen into the same thing I was warned against. My eyes became off Jesus.. see instead of being so concerned about the holy spirit showing up and obsessing over us having a bless me meeting. I became the holy spirit judge, judging the hearts of God's people making sure if the holy spirit did move with healings and power people were recognizing that verses their own flesh. My own wickedness kinda disgusted me.. and made me realise how horrible I am and how much I was missing out on just loving him during the service.The holy spirit resists the proud but gives grace to the humble, even if those pple expected such a might move of the holy spirit they got caught up doing crazy things in faith to manipulate or bring the move of the Lord. That's still more pure, than me judging them and not focusing on Jesus. Even if those girls were treating it like a concert, maybe they were really excited to listen to music that honored G-d and maybe they haven't gotten conviction on modesty, their motives are still more pure than my judgemental ones. The Lord says that we cannot judge people's hearts we can judge the sin but we can't assume the root of the sin.. because some people yes even christians are ignorant and without the holy spirit bringing conviction of things and shining light on dark areas who are we to judge? What is not brought into light?
My heart is deceitfully wicked.
I had another instance recently that really has messed me up but I want to elaborate more on that later....my back is really bothering me right now, Jesus please heal my back.
Friday, March 27, 2009
THE GOSPEL.
Today, there are so many conferences and such, especially
for our youth, which are designed to excite the believer’s passion
through fellowship, music, eloquent speakers, emotional stories,
and impassioned pleas. Yet, often whatever excitement they create
quickly vanishes. In the end, little fires have been built in little
hearts that burn out in a few days. We have forgotten that genuine,
enduring passion is born out of one’s knowledge of the truth, and
specifically the truth of the Gospel. The more one comprehends
its beauty, the more one will be apprehended by its power. One
glance of the Gospel will move the truly regenerate heart to follow.
Every greater glimpse will quicken its pace until it is running
recklessly toward the prize. Such beauty, the truly Christian heart
cannot resist. This is the great need of the day! It is what we have
lost—the preaching of the Gospel. - Paul Washer
for our youth, which are designed to excite the believer’s passion
through fellowship, music, eloquent speakers, emotional stories,
and impassioned pleas. Yet, often whatever excitement they create
quickly vanishes. In the end, little fires have been built in little
hearts that burn out in a few days. We have forgotten that genuine,
enduring passion is born out of one’s knowledge of the truth, and
specifically the truth of the Gospel. The more one comprehends
its beauty, the more one will be apprehended by its power. One
glance of the Gospel will move the truly regenerate heart to follow.
Every greater glimpse will quicken its pace until it is running
recklessly toward the prize. Such beauty, the truly Christian heart
cannot resist. This is the great need of the day! It is what we have
lost—the preaching of the Gospel. - Paul Washer
THE GOSPEL.
Today, there are so many conferences and such, especially
for our youth, which are designed to excite the believer’s passion
through fellowship, music, eloquent speakers, emotional stories,
and impassioned pleas. Yet, often whatever excitement they create
quickly vanishes. In the end, little fires have been built in little
hearts that burn out in a few days. We have forgotten that genuine,
enduring passion is born out of one’s knowledge of the truth, and
specifically the truth of the Gospel. The more one comprehends
its beauty, the more one will be apprehended by its power. One
glance of the Gospel will move the truly regenerate heart to follow.
Every greater glimpse will quicken its pace until it is running
recklessly toward the prize. Such beauty, the truly Christian heart
cannot resist. This is the great need of the day! It is what we have
lost—the preaching of the Gospel. - Paul Washer
for our youth, which are designed to excite the believer’s passion
through fellowship, music, eloquent speakers, emotional stories,
and impassioned pleas. Yet, often whatever excitement they create
quickly vanishes. In the end, little fires have been built in little
hearts that burn out in a few days. We have forgotten that genuine,
enduring passion is born out of one’s knowledge of the truth, and
specifically the truth of the Gospel. The more one comprehends
its beauty, the more one will be apprehended by its power. One
glance of the Gospel will move the truly regenerate heart to follow.
Every greater glimpse will quicken its pace until it is running
recklessly toward the prize. Such beauty, the truly Christian heart
cannot resist. This is the great need of the day! It is what we have
lost—the preaching of the Gospel. - Paul Washer
Freedom come quickly!
Move my heart...
It's stuck on too many things..
But I don't get that...... If I give them up the initial heartache isn't as bad as the surpassing freedom and Joy you feel when you have truly disconnected from those things that still your time, affections, cravings, and desires.
We are free from the world when we starve ourselves from it, we are more free from it when we give it up, the enemy wouldn't like us to believe that but it's true.
Whatever you sow you will reap.. you will reap a harvest if you do not give up. If you don't quit you win. Holy spirit do the work in me, and don't let me fall back into carnal thinking..
I LONNGGG to lay hold of the vision, to grasp it, to obtain it, to meditate upon it, that way when complacency comes around the corner, and sleep settles in my eyes, I can look to our Lord Jesus who was very familiar with suffering and I can be the sleeper that arises and has the Lord shine upon then. The hardest thing to do, is arise from that place of decision where it would be just as easy to fall back into sleep as it would be to make the choice to arise.
It's stuck on too many things..
But I don't get that...... If I give them up the initial heartache isn't as bad as the surpassing freedom and Joy you feel when you have truly disconnected from those things that still your time, affections, cravings, and desires.
We are free from the world when we starve ourselves from it, we are more free from it when we give it up, the enemy wouldn't like us to believe that but it's true.
Whatever you sow you will reap.. you will reap a harvest if you do not give up. If you don't quit you win. Holy spirit do the work in me, and don't let me fall back into carnal thinking..
I LONNGGG to lay hold of the vision, to grasp it, to obtain it, to meditate upon it, that way when complacency comes around the corner, and sleep settles in my eyes, I can look to our Lord Jesus who was very familiar with suffering and I can be the sleeper that arises and has the Lord shine upon then. The hardest thing to do, is arise from that place of decision where it would be just as easy to fall back into sleep as it would be to make the choice to arise.
Monday, March 23, 2009
mY dADDy!
My Dad watches over my heart...
My dad cultivated my heart he made fertile ground, and he planted some seeds of love. He pruned them, and sometimes my Garden suffered damage, the winds blew, the rain came, and foxes and snakes came in and tried to eat all the fruit in the Garden. But they did not succeed! Because my Dad is a great Gardener! And he worked hard sometimes in the blazing sun! He drove away all the snakes and foxes, he poured fresh soil into my Garden. He spent the time, money, and energy to plant, build up, and produce fruit in my Garden. He built a fence around where no one can come in, he alone gazes over the fruit of the Garden. He watches over the produce, he often calmly walks around touching the leaves, enjoying the Garden.The flowers bloom for HIM, all for his Glory, they appreciate the work he did in planting and harvesting them. He sings over them and they bloom, my Dad made a Garden for me, he takes delight in my Garden. We commune together in my Garden, and I'm glad he's kept it safe. Because even though I've let snakes, and foxes sneak in by being careless with the fence around me Garden. My Dad drove them out, My dad loves me and won't settle for an untamed, wreckless Garden. My dad is the keeper of my heart, the keeper of this Garden, he works deligently to form and cultivate my heart for him. He's long suffering, he's patient, he's kind. He will be spent over and over again to prune and plant in my Garden, My dad takes delight in this! Holy spirit floods my heart and brings tears down my face, he gives me kisses on my head when it's all scrunched up and worried, he kisses my forehead and speaks peace in my ear. He calls me beloved and assures me that he'll take care of all of this.. even when my Garden is a mess from those dang foxes I let sneak in! My Dad has built a fence around my heart! And only he can be there! I don't want anyone else in to my secret Garden, you know why? Becuase try as they might.. no other can take care of the Garden of my heart like he can! No one enjoys my Garden like he does! He knows the right shades of color that I like to see bloom and it's a perfect pattern, he knows me in my innermost man. He desires to not harm be but to bless me and give me a future, a future thats secure and safe no matter what rains, storms, or trespassers come my way. My dad is mighty to save! He is mighty to rise up and to defend for the sake of my heart, because that's his Garden! That's his territory, and no one else can share it with him not even if I want them to! Jesus I was just thinking sometimes I want my heart to be given away to even just experience the momentary pleasure of being in love and letting someone love me. But no one will do, you have the keys to my Garden, and I can't let anyone else in but you. I won't settle for less, because your abba Daddy, I trust you because over and over again when a storm has came and caused everything to be a mess and I thought it was hopeless and unrepairable. You breathed hope and you produced flowers that was sweet aroma of worship to your nostrils. Jesus you do the work in me, holy spirit you plant and prune, all I have to do is let you. Dad your so faithful! I am undone! All I can say is how faithful you are! Faithful and just to cleanse me from all unrighteousness! To reign showers of love in me, to fight and wrestle over the weeds and stubborns roots in my heart. I love you daddy, I love you dad, I love you abba, I love you sweet Jesus. I love you I love you I love you. You put a seal over my heart, the keys are yours. Jesus I'm asking you as a father to keep being like a warrior king and defending my heart, because on behalf of you I tell my heart to seek your face, and my heart seeks your face. To gaze on the beauty of the one I love, I will search night and day for the one I love, because you have awakened love inside of me! And I am undone! I will never be the same. So my heart is at a paradigm wanting to be given over to another lover, yet you say trust, wait, I'm your Dad I know whats best. And I sigh like a little girl, sometimes I pout with tears in my eyes.. and I say with all faith "Your my Dad, to you I trust".
Dad just wanted to say thanks for breathing on my Garden, thanks for making your home there. I don't want a romantic love story thats unreal and unpractical, I don't want anyone EVER coming into our Garden. No matter how close pple may get they WILL NEVER share our Garden with you, my garden.. my heart..the innermost part of me. The secret place, Holy spirit sweet sweet sweet Holy Spirit come and make this Garden pleasing to my Dad, invite him in to do the good work in me! Bless you Jesus, because you not only revealed this to the wise, strong, or righteous.. but you revealed this to children, to little babes like me.. your my daddy thats it.And though I'm dark you say I'm lovely...
My dad cultivated my heart he made fertile ground, and he planted some seeds of love. He pruned them, and sometimes my Garden suffered damage, the winds blew, the rain came, and foxes and snakes came in and tried to eat all the fruit in the Garden. But they did not succeed! Because my Dad is a great Gardener! And he worked hard sometimes in the blazing sun! He drove away all the snakes and foxes, he poured fresh soil into my Garden. He spent the time, money, and energy to plant, build up, and produce fruit in my Garden. He built a fence around where no one can come in, he alone gazes over the fruit of the Garden. He watches over the produce, he often calmly walks around touching the leaves, enjoying the Garden.The flowers bloom for HIM, all for his Glory, they appreciate the work he did in planting and harvesting them. He sings over them and they bloom, my Dad made a Garden for me, he takes delight in my Garden. We commune together in my Garden, and I'm glad he's kept it safe. Because even though I've let snakes, and foxes sneak in by being careless with the fence around me Garden. My Dad drove them out, My dad loves me and won't settle for an untamed, wreckless Garden. My dad is the keeper of my heart, the keeper of this Garden, he works deligently to form and cultivate my heart for him. He's long suffering, he's patient, he's kind. He will be spent over and over again to prune and plant in my Garden, My dad takes delight in this! Holy spirit floods my heart and brings tears down my face, he gives me kisses on my head when it's all scrunched up and worried, he kisses my forehead and speaks peace in my ear. He calls me beloved and assures me that he'll take care of all of this.. even when my Garden is a mess from those dang foxes I let sneak in! My Dad has built a fence around my heart! And only he can be there! I don't want anyone else in to my secret Garden, you know why? Becuase try as they might.. no other can take care of the Garden of my heart like he can! No one enjoys my Garden like he does! He knows the right shades of color that I like to see bloom and it's a perfect pattern, he knows me in my innermost man. He desires to not harm be but to bless me and give me a future, a future thats secure and safe no matter what rains, storms, or trespassers come my way. My dad is mighty to save! He is mighty to rise up and to defend for the sake of my heart, because that's his Garden! That's his territory, and no one else can share it with him not even if I want them to! Jesus I was just thinking sometimes I want my heart to be given away to even just experience the momentary pleasure of being in love and letting someone love me. But no one will do, you have the keys to my Garden, and I can't let anyone else in but you. I won't settle for less, because your abba Daddy, I trust you because over and over again when a storm has came and caused everything to be a mess and I thought it was hopeless and unrepairable. You breathed hope and you produced flowers that was sweet aroma of worship to your nostrils. Jesus you do the work in me, holy spirit you plant and prune, all I have to do is let you. Dad your so faithful! I am undone! All I can say is how faithful you are! Faithful and just to cleanse me from all unrighteousness! To reign showers of love in me, to fight and wrestle over the weeds and stubborns roots in my heart. I love you daddy, I love you dad, I love you abba, I love you sweet Jesus. I love you I love you I love you. You put a seal over my heart, the keys are yours. Jesus I'm asking you as a father to keep being like a warrior king and defending my heart, because on behalf of you I tell my heart to seek your face, and my heart seeks your face. To gaze on the beauty of the one I love, I will search night and day for the one I love, because you have awakened love inside of me! And I am undone! I will never be the same. So my heart is at a paradigm wanting to be given over to another lover, yet you say trust, wait, I'm your Dad I know whats best. And I sigh like a little girl, sometimes I pout with tears in my eyes.. and I say with all faith "Your my Dad, to you I trust".
Dad just wanted to say thanks for breathing on my Garden, thanks for making your home there. I don't want a romantic love story thats unreal and unpractical, I don't want anyone EVER coming into our Garden. No matter how close pple may get they WILL NEVER share our Garden with you, my garden.. my heart..the innermost part of me. The secret place, Holy spirit sweet sweet sweet Holy Spirit come and make this Garden pleasing to my Dad, invite him in to do the good work in me! Bless you Jesus, because you not only revealed this to the wise, strong, or righteous.. but you revealed this to children, to little babes like me.. your my daddy thats it.And though I'm dark you say I'm lovely...
Friday, March 13, 2009
We have to taste of the Lords sweetness..
Jesus has been moving my heart to discipline.. I've always been the crazy random type that just goes with the flo.. I'm spontaneous enough. But lately the Lord has really been quiting me down.. I'm reading Johnathan Edwards right now he was such a man of discipline. So lately I think I got the heart of being disciplined.. but it basically is being whole hearted. Putting your everything in investing, and planting what you know G-d will bring to harvest. I want to want the Lord, I want to have compassion, I want to bring about a prayer life, I want to crucify my flesh, I want to desire him completely. Now if we knock he doesn't just give but he gives a way.. Daniel was delivered IN the lions den not FROM the lions den. He doesn't promise he'll deal with it, he promises he'll live in us through it. WE NEED THE HOLY SPIRIT TO BE DISCIPLINED. Living a life of discipline means I don't want to be righteous holy spirit let me strive to be righteous.. I can't do it in vain but rather I'm wounded in the fact of realising that I can't, don't desire, and will not be able to be righteous. That I don't want to, can't find a way, or don't want to strive for energy to excersize after 7 hours of work.. I am faced with the revelation of my weakness. I NEED HIM. I don't want to pray, Oprah looks really interesting today..(I'M WEAK) he says if we call on him with a humble heart he'll answer.. no even in the smallest of things minute by minute I have to deny my flesh. My flesh always justifies the smallest of things because there not outward things, but the LORD judges the heart and what a terrible thing to fall in the hands of an angry G-d. I want my heart to be pure, I want my thoughts to be pure, I want my intentions and even the smallest of my steps that go unnoticed to be pure. And this means denial of flesh minute by minute.. but won't we become self righteous? No if the HOLY SPIRIT does it through us we will be conformed into the image of Christ, the fact is .. we can't do the smallest of things without him. We can't keep the smallest of disciplines in our life out of straight will power, at least I can't. But I strive and labour to lay hold of him, I am wrestling with my flesh, I am beating my body into submission, I am counting all other things as loss compared to the surpassing knowledge of knowing him and obtaining him, I'm part of the saints who are forcefully taking hold of the kingdom. And you know what those saints look like? Their the people behind the stage whole heartedly serving the pastor water, looking with kindness in the eyes of every human being, they're the ones who humble themselves in humility and fear knowing that they are the worst of the worst. You know why I do the things I do? You know why I desire to be uncompromising? It's not because I'm righteous it's because I'm weak, it's not because smart it's because i'm foolish, it's not because I'm full it's because I'm empty, it's not because I have the answers and I'm living a admirable life, but it's because I choose to know nothing but Jesus Christ and choose to give Glory to his name. I am sooo weak and so I like how Paul says he's the worst of the worst, he needed G-d more than anyone. I've been praying that I would need more of G-d than anyone that I would be soo weak in spirit, that I would lack so much of him, that he would hear my cry like the good Judge and be quick to answer. Release the boldness of the righteous we like to say.. you know what that means? It means that those inner fights that the saints go through to stop their speech from boasting, to stop their hearts from wondering, all the little things they fight so hard for to not cut corners at work, whatever it is... Releasing the boldness of the righteous means that out of our small efforts and weak glances the Lord will march out like a mighty man of war and have victory because of the humility that we have yoked ourselves to the most humblest of them all Jesus Christ. Yes raise up children! But raise up in the zeal and humility the Lord had, anytime he was harsh it was out of defense for his father! And it was uncomfortable for him to stick up for the righteousness of his father when all his friends wanted to compromise it and water it down. Anytime he was meek, humble, and forgiving it was because of man he knew that his father desired, longed for, and deserved the souls of man and he wanted to bring his father children that were spotless so he kept covering the undeserving souls with his blood. Don't you see? That Jesus never did anything for himself, it was all denial of himself it was for his father always to bring Glory to his father! Jesus I want to be a pure and spotless saint. I don't want to raise up to give a defense in evangelism because i'm so righteous, good, and amazing but I want humility and fear knowing that I know nothing that I'm the poor sinner in need of a savior right with the soul that needs conversion. I just now caught how 1 Peter 3:15 talks about this ...
1 Peter 3:15 (New King James Version)
15 But sanctify the Lord God[a] in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear;
with meekness and fear not because we think less of ourselves but because we think of ourselves less. Not because poor pity me, but it's humility that gives no attention to self, but is self sacrificial and reflects Jesus Christs nature. We just do what we do for the father..I need discipline in my life not to be the best me that I can be, not to be a better Christian.. but to be like him. He was so discipline in his pursuit of the father, he HAD to lay hold of the fathers heart. He WAS the beatitudes he was poor in spirit and the father was Glorified in that, therefore he was pleased to have all of himself dwell in him. My heart is quick so quick to wonder... These are a few declarations that I need in my life..
- I need to pray unceasingly I constantly need to be confessing my thoughts and bringing them to the father, my affections and my attention
- I need to work out and beat my body in submision since i've been striving to do this more and more I realise that this physical discipline will flow into spiritual disciplines, and it's a good time to listen to podcasts.
- I need to have a time of prayer daily, and I need to pray for things that I'm willing to labour for, the father likes the process of interceding with me and he'll do this whole vicotry thing if I labour and strive for it with him.
- I need to read my whole bible all the way through, over and over again. I need a daily dose and I need to know that I'm reading the whole thing not just skipping around
- I need to learn from the wise man I need that sermon index
- I need to give G-d my thoughts I'm such a girl and my heart wonders, and i'm a visionary, and It's very easy to fantasize with my own short sighteness of things, and my own ideals but the truth is I don't know the day or the hour, and all I have is a moment, here and now to be whole hearted. Not that you cant think of the vision in your life but you can't be feeding the desires of your heart through day dreams. You must sumbitt that vision to the reality of here and now.
- I must must learn to listen, to be meek, and submissive to my parents restoration will come even Johnathan Edwards had a hard time moving back in with his family but it shows us the true nature of our rebellious hearts and the reality is that it helps us grow in love and shows us our need for love from the father.
- I can't have a facebook seriously, my heart is so quick to be taken by vanities and gossip I get the same feeling when I read gossip magazines I just feel yucky.
-I must preach the Gospel now I need to break out of the complacency of doing it every saturday and actually look to try to do it every day but all that is in me MUST be Jesus to people and I have to get over fear.. thats not the Lord. There is Godly fear that comes out of humility which I feel when I evangelise. But when I want to witness to old friends or family members I get this prideful fear which is I don't want to be looked at as weird, even though Christ himself calls us peculiar people in his word.And David when he was looked at by Bathseba? (I want to say) basically says " o0o you think this is bad? Well guess what? I'm going to continue to be even more undignified than this all the days of my life" Father well help me getr over myself already and undignify this body of flesh
- I must be whole hearted, I used to think being whole hearted in prays in worship but I'm getting the concept of being whole hearted in EVERYTHING we don't have time to waste, to pout, to be in carnality, to be in daydream land, the lord has a plan and he's always moving, and interceding on behalf of us well holy spirit quicken me to what the father is doing and give me eyes to see and ears to hear.
- I must fast, my heart can easily become into a desire driven vessel for food, for entertainment and comfort and satan loves to use the things we need to make us lethargic and complacent. I must crucify my flesh give up my desires and fast from the food I used to convince myself I not only needed, but deserved. But it says in Gods word "Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food but G-d will destroy them both" in the end let your stomach be satisfied but G-d will destroy them both might as well let your soul feast for that is eternal. Gods word says whatever you sow in the flesh you'll reap in the flesh, but whatever you sow in the spirit you'll reap in the spirit.
-The Lord gave me a revelation a while back about not denying him one thing..There are tons of one little things that get me all the time. But not One thing is too little to give to the Lord he doesn't just want the big showy things, he wants all the little things that fill the tiny gaps in our hearts, he wants it all, and he won't relent until he has it all.
So father make me poor in spirit I lack, and I'm in NEED, wound me with your love, and give me a revelation of the NEED for you!
Jesus YOUR GLORIOUS!
1 Peter 3:15 (New King James Version)
15 But sanctify the Lord God[a] in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear;
with meekness and fear not because we think less of ourselves but because we think of ourselves less. Not because poor pity me, but it's humility that gives no attention to self, but is self sacrificial and reflects Jesus Christs nature. We just do what we do for the father..I need discipline in my life not to be the best me that I can be, not to be a better Christian.. but to be like him. He was so discipline in his pursuit of the father, he HAD to lay hold of the fathers heart. He WAS the beatitudes he was poor in spirit and the father was Glorified in that, therefore he was pleased to have all of himself dwell in him. My heart is quick so quick to wonder... These are a few declarations that I need in my life..
- I need to pray unceasingly I constantly need to be confessing my thoughts and bringing them to the father, my affections and my attention
- I need to work out and beat my body in submision since i've been striving to do this more and more I realise that this physical discipline will flow into spiritual disciplines, and it's a good time to listen to podcasts.
- I need to have a time of prayer daily, and I need to pray for things that I'm willing to labour for, the father likes the process of interceding with me and he'll do this whole vicotry thing if I labour and strive for it with him.
- I need to read my whole bible all the way through, over and over again. I need a daily dose and I need to know that I'm reading the whole thing not just skipping around
- I need to learn from the wise man I need that sermon index
- I need to give G-d my thoughts I'm such a girl and my heart wonders, and i'm a visionary, and It's very easy to fantasize with my own short sighteness of things, and my own ideals but the truth is I don't know the day or the hour, and all I have is a moment, here and now to be whole hearted. Not that you cant think of the vision in your life but you can't be feeding the desires of your heart through day dreams. You must sumbitt that vision to the reality of here and now.
- I must must learn to listen, to be meek, and submissive to my parents restoration will come even Johnathan Edwards had a hard time moving back in with his family but it shows us the true nature of our rebellious hearts and the reality is that it helps us grow in love and shows us our need for love from the father.
- I can't have a facebook seriously, my heart is so quick to be taken by vanities and gossip I get the same feeling when I read gossip magazines I just feel yucky.
-I must preach the Gospel now I need to break out of the complacency of doing it every saturday and actually look to try to do it every day but all that is in me MUST be Jesus to people and I have to get over fear.. thats not the Lord. There is Godly fear that comes out of humility which I feel when I evangelise. But when I want to witness to old friends or family members I get this prideful fear which is I don't want to be looked at as weird, even though Christ himself calls us peculiar people in his word.And David when he was looked at by Bathseba? (I want to say) basically says " o0o you think this is bad? Well guess what? I'm going to continue to be even more undignified than this all the days of my life" Father well help me getr over myself already and undignify this body of flesh
- I must be whole hearted, I used to think being whole hearted in prays in worship but I'm getting the concept of being whole hearted in EVERYTHING we don't have time to waste, to pout, to be in carnality, to be in daydream land, the lord has a plan and he's always moving, and interceding on behalf of us well holy spirit quicken me to what the father is doing and give me eyes to see and ears to hear.
- I must fast, my heart can easily become into a desire driven vessel for food, for entertainment and comfort and satan loves to use the things we need to make us lethargic and complacent. I must crucify my flesh give up my desires and fast from the food I used to convince myself I not only needed, but deserved. But it says in Gods word "Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food but G-d will destroy them both" in the end let your stomach be satisfied but G-d will destroy them both might as well let your soul feast for that is eternal. Gods word says whatever you sow in the flesh you'll reap in the flesh, but whatever you sow in the spirit you'll reap in the spirit.
-The Lord gave me a revelation a while back about not denying him one thing..There are tons of one little things that get me all the time. But not One thing is too little to give to the Lord he doesn't just want the big showy things, he wants all the little things that fill the tiny gaps in our hearts, he wants it all, and he won't relent until he has it all.
So father make me poor in spirit I lack, and I'm in NEED, wound me with your love, and give me a revelation of the NEED for you!
Jesus YOUR GLORIOUS!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
This speaks to me about, election, adoption and salvation.
"The Father elects them, the son gets bruised for them, and the spirit renews them and produces fruit in them"- the infamous christian rapper.
Robert Murray MCheyne :
THIS IS A VERY HUMBLING, and at the same time, a very blessed word to the true disciple. It was very humbling to the disciples to be told that they had not chosen Christ. Your wants were so many, your hearts were so hard, that ye have not chosen me. And yet it was exceedingly comforting to the disciples to be told that he had chosen them: 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you'. This showed them that his love was first with them — that he had a love for them when they were dead. And then he showed them that it was love that would make them holy: 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain.'
Men naturally do not choose Christ, "Ye have not chosen me." This was true of the apostles; this is true of all that will ever believe to the end of the world. 'Ye have not chosen me.'The natural ear is so deaf that it cannot hear; the natural eye is so blind that it cannot see Christ. It is true in one sense that every disciple chooses Christ; but it is when God opens the eye to see him — it is when God gives strength to the withered arm to embrace him. But Christ's meaning is, You would never have chosen me, if I had not chosen you. It is quite true that when God opens a sinner's heart, he chooses Christ and none but Christ. It is quite true that a heart that is quickened by the Spirit, ever chooses Christ and none but Christ, and will forego all the world for Christ. But, brethren, the truth here taught us is this that every awakened sinner is willing to embrace Christ, but not till made willing. Those of you who have been awakened, you did not choose Christ. If a physician were to come into your house, and say he had come to cure you of your disease, if you felt that you were not diseased, you would say, I have no need of you, go to my neighbour. This is the way you do with Christ; he offers to cure you, but you say you are not diseased; he offers to cover your naked soul with his obedience, you say I have no need of that covering.
Another reason why you do not choose Christ is, you see no beauty in him. He is a root out of a dry ground, in which there is no beauty nor comeliness. You see no beauty in his person, no beauty in his obedience, no glory in his cross. You see him not, and, therefore, you do not choose him.
Another reason why you do not choose Christ is, you do not want to be made holy by him: He shall be called Jesus, for he shall save his people from their sins (Matthew 1: 2 1). But you love your sin, you love your pleasure, therefore when the Son of God comes and says, he will save you from your sin, you say, I love my sin, I love my pleasure. So you can never come to terms with Christ: 'ye have not chosen me'; although I died, yet you have not chosen me. I have spoken to you many years, and yet you have not chosen me. I have sent you my Bible to instruct you, and yet you have not chosen me. Brethren, this accusation will meet you in the judgment — I would have covered you with my obedience, but ye would not have me.
Christ chooses his own disciples: 'I have chosen you'. Christ looked upon them with a look of divine benignity, and said, 'I have chosen you.' Every one whom he brings to glory, he chooses.
The time when he chooses them. I observe that it was before they believed—'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you', as much as to say, I began with you, you did not begin with me. You will notice this in Acts 18:9, 10, 'Then spake the Lord to Paul in the night by a vision, Be not afraid, but speak, and hold not thy peace: for I am with thee, and no man shall set on thee to hurt thee; for I have much people in this city.' Paul was at this time in Corinth, the most lascivious and wicked city in the ancient world; they were given over to banqueting and grievous idolatry, and yet Christ said to Paul, 'I have much people in this city'. They had not chosen Christ, but he had chosen them; they had not repented, yet Christ fixed his eye on them. This plainly shows you that Christ chooses his own before they seek him.
But further, Christ chooses his own from the beginning: 'But we are bound to give thanks alway to God for you, brethren, beloved of the Lord, because God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation through sanctification of the Spirit, and belief of the truth' (2 Thessalonians 2:13); 'According as he had chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love' (Ephesians 1:4). So, brethren, it was before the foundation of the world that Christ chose his own; when there was neither sun nor moon, when there was neither sea nor land — it was from the beginning. Ah, he might well say, you have not chosen me. It was before man loved man, or angel loved angel, that Christ chose his own. Now, I know the meaning of Paul when he says, That you may be able to know the length and the breadth, the height and the depth of the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge (Ephesians 3:18-19). Now, I am not surprised at the death of Christ! It was a love so great that it broke over the banks that held it in; a love that broke over a Calvary and a Gethsemane. O brethren! do you know this love?
But I come now to the reason of his love: 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you.' Now, it is a very natural question, Why did he choose me? I answer, that the reason why he chose you was the good pleasure of his will. You will see this illustrated in Mark 3:13: 'And he goeth up into a mountain, and calleth unto him whom he would: and they came unto him.' There was a great crowd round about him; he called some, he did not call all. The reason here given why he did it is, 'He called whom he would.' There is no reason in the creature; the reason is in him who chooses. You will see this in Malachi 1:2, 3: '1 have loved you, saith the LORD; yet ye say, Wherein hast thou loved us? Was not Esau Jacob's brother? saith the LORD: yet I loved Jacob, and I hated Esau'. Were they not of the same mother? Yet I loved Jacob and I hated Esau. The only reason given, you see, is, 'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy'. You will see this also in Romans 9:15, 16.
The only reason given in the Bible why Christ loved us — and if you study till you die you will not find another — is, 'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy.' This is evident from all those that Christ chooses. We read of two great apostasies: one on earth, the other in heaven. First of all, one in heaven: Lucifer, the son of the morning, through pride, sinned, and God cast him, and those that sinned with him, into hell. The second was on earth: Adam sinned, and was driven out of paradise. They were both deserving of punishment. God had a purpose of love; which is it for? Perhaps angels pleaded for their fellow-angels; yet Christ passed them by, and died for man. Why did he die for man? The answer is, 'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy.'
The same thing is evident in the individuals Christ chooses. You would think Christ would choose the rich, and yet what says James? 'Hath not God chosen the poor of this world, rich in faith, and heirs of the kingdom, which he hath promised to them that love him?' (James 2:5).
Again, you would think Christ would choose the noble; they have not the prejudices that the poor have; but what says the Scripture, 'Not many mighty, not many noble are called' (I Corinthians 1:26).
Again, you would think he would choose those that are learned. The Bible is written in difficult language; its doctrines are hard to be understood; yet what says Christ? 'I thank thee, O Father, because thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes' (Matthew 11:25).
Again, you would think he would have chosen the virtuous. Though there are none righteous, yet there are some more virtuous than others; yet what says Christ? The publicans and harlots enter the kingdom of heaven while the Pharisee is shut out. 'O the depth both of the riches and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!' (Romans 11:33). Why did he take the most vile? Here is the only reason I have been able to find ever since I read my Bible -'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.'
Christ chooses some that seek him, and not others. There was a young ruler came to Christ, and said, 'Good Master, what good thing shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?" (Matthew 19:16). He was in earnest, yet something came in the way, and he went back. A woman that was a sinner came behind Christ weeping, she also was in earnest. Christ said regarding her, 'Her sins which are many are forgiven her' (Luke 7:47, 48). What made the difference? — 'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy." He called unto him whom he would.' O my brethren, be humbled under the sovereignty of God! If he will have compassion, then he will have compassion.
But I hasten to the third and last point: I have ordained you that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain. Christ not only chooses who are to be saved, but he chooses the way; and he not only chooses the beginning and the end, he chooses the middle also. 'God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation, through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth' (2 Thessalonians 2:13). 'According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love' (Ephesians 1:4). And in Romans 8:30 it is said, 'Whom he did predestinate, them he also called; and whom he called them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he glorified.' Salvation is like a golden chain let down from heaven to earth; two links are the hands of God — election and final salvation; but some of the links are on earth — conversion, adoption, etc. Brethren, Christ never chooses a man to believe, and then leap into glory. Ah, my brethren, how this takes away the feet from all objections raised against this holy doctrine of election. Some here perhaps say, If I am elected, I will be saved, live as I like. No; if you live an unholy life, you will not be saved. Some may say, If I am not elected, I will not be saved, do as I like. Whether you are elected or not, I know not, but this I know - if you believe on Christ you will be saved.
Let me ask you, have you believed on Christ? Let me ask you another question, do you bear his whole image? Then you are elected, and will be saved. But if there are any here who have not believed on Christ, and who do not live a holy life, then, whatever you think now, you will find it true that you were among those who were passed by.
Ah! my brethren, those who deny election, deny that God can have mercy. O it is a sweet truth that God can have mercy! There is nothing in the hardness of your hearts that will keep God from having mercy on you. Go away home with this truth, that God can have mercy. 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you ...'Amen.
Robert Murray MCheyne :
THIS IS A VERY HUMBLING, and at the same time, a very blessed word to the true disciple. It was very humbling to the disciples to be told that they had not chosen Christ. Your wants were so many, your hearts were so hard, that ye have not chosen me. And yet it was exceedingly comforting to the disciples to be told that he had chosen them: 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you'. This showed them that his love was first with them — that he had a love for them when they were dead. And then he showed them that it was love that would make them holy: 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain.'
Men naturally do not choose Christ, "Ye have not chosen me." This was true of the apostles; this is true of all that will ever believe to the end of the world. 'Ye have not chosen me.'The natural ear is so deaf that it cannot hear; the natural eye is so blind that it cannot see Christ. It is true in one sense that every disciple chooses Christ; but it is when God opens the eye to see him — it is when God gives strength to the withered arm to embrace him. But Christ's meaning is, You would never have chosen me, if I had not chosen you. It is quite true that when God opens a sinner's heart, he chooses Christ and none but Christ. It is quite true that a heart that is quickened by the Spirit, ever chooses Christ and none but Christ, and will forego all the world for Christ. But, brethren, the truth here taught us is this that every awakened sinner is willing to embrace Christ, but not till made willing. Those of you who have been awakened, you did not choose Christ. If a physician were to come into your house, and say he had come to cure you of your disease, if you felt that you were not diseased, you would say, I have no need of you, go to my neighbour. This is the way you do with Christ; he offers to cure you, but you say you are not diseased; he offers to cover your naked soul with his obedience, you say I have no need of that covering.
Another reason why you do not choose Christ is, you see no beauty in him. He is a root out of a dry ground, in which there is no beauty nor comeliness. You see no beauty in his person, no beauty in his obedience, no glory in his cross. You see him not, and, therefore, you do not choose him.
Another reason why you do not choose Christ is, you do not want to be made holy by him: He shall be called Jesus, for he shall save his people from their sins (Matthew 1: 2 1). But you love your sin, you love your pleasure, therefore when the Son of God comes and says, he will save you from your sin, you say, I love my sin, I love my pleasure. So you can never come to terms with Christ: 'ye have not chosen me'; although I died, yet you have not chosen me. I have spoken to you many years, and yet you have not chosen me. I have sent you my Bible to instruct you, and yet you have not chosen me. Brethren, this accusation will meet you in the judgment — I would have covered you with my obedience, but ye would not have me.
Christ chooses his own disciples: 'I have chosen you'. Christ looked upon them with a look of divine benignity, and said, 'I have chosen you.' Every one whom he brings to glory, he chooses.
The time when he chooses them. I observe that it was before they believed—'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you', as much as to say, I began with you, you did not begin with me. You will notice this in Acts 18:9, 10, 'Then spake the Lord to Paul in the night by a vision, Be not afraid, but speak, and hold not thy peace: for I am with thee, and no man shall set on thee to hurt thee; for I have much people in this city.' Paul was at this time in Corinth, the most lascivious and wicked city in the ancient world; they were given over to banqueting and grievous idolatry, and yet Christ said to Paul, 'I have much people in this city'. They had not chosen Christ, but he had chosen them; they had not repented, yet Christ fixed his eye on them. This plainly shows you that Christ chooses his own before they seek him.
But further, Christ chooses his own from the beginning: 'But we are bound to give thanks alway to God for you, brethren, beloved of the Lord, because God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation through sanctification of the Spirit, and belief of the truth' (2 Thessalonians 2:13); 'According as he had chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love' (Ephesians 1:4). So, brethren, it was before the foundation of the world that Christ chose his own; when there was neither sun nor moon, when there was neither sea nor land — it was from the beginning. Ah, he might well say, you have not chosen me. It was before man loved man, or angel loved angel, that Christ chose his own. Now, I know the meaning of Paul when he says, That you may be able to know the length and the breadth, the height and the depth of the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge (Ephesians 3:18-19). Now, I am not surprised at the death of Christ! It was a love so great that it broke over the banks that held it in; a love that broke over a Calvary and a Gethsemane. O brethren! do you know this love?
But I come now to the reason of his love: 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you.' Now, it is a very natural question, Why did he choose me? I answer, that the reason why he chose you was the good pleasure of his will. You will see this illustrated in Mark 3:13: 'And he goeth up into a mountain, and calleth unto him whom he would: and they came unto him.' There was a great crowd round about him; he called some, he did not call all. The reason here given why he did it is, 'He called whom he would.' There is no reason in the creature; the reason is in him who chooses. You will see this in Malachi 1:2, 3: '1 have loved you, saith the LORD; yet ye say, Wherein hast thou loved us? Was not Esau Jacob's brother? saith the LORD: yet I loved Jacob, and I hated Esau'. Were they not of the same mother? Yet I loved Jacob and I hated Esau. The only reason given, you see, is, 'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy'. You will see this also in Romans 9:15, 16.
The only reason given in the Bible why Christ loved us — and if you study till you die you will not find another — is, 'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy.' This is evident from all those that Christ chooses. We read of two great apostasies: one on earth, the other in heaven. First of all, one in heaven: Lucifer, the son of the morning, through pride, sinned, and God cast him, and those that sinned with him, into hell. The second was on earth: Adam sinned, and was driven out of paradise. They were both deserving of punishment. God had a purpose of love; which is it for? Perhaps angels pleaded for their fellow-angels; yet Christ passed them by, and died for man. Why did he die for man? The answer is, 'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy.'
The same thing is evident in the individuals Christ chooses. You would think Christ would choose the rich, and yet what says James? 'Hath not God chosen the poor of this world, rich in faith, and heirs of the kingdom, which he hath promised to them that love him?' (James 2:5).
Again, you would think Christ would choose the noble; they have not the prejudices that the poor have; but what says the Scripture, 'Not many mighty, not many noble are called' (I Corinthians 1:26).
Again, you would think he would choose those that are learned. The Bible is written in difficult language; its doctrines are hard to be understood; yet what says Christ? 'I thank thee, O Father, because thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes' (Matthew 11:25).
Again, you would think he would have chosen the virtuous. Though there are none righteous, yet there are some more virtuous than others; yet what says Christ? The publicans and harlots enter the kingdom of heaven while the Pharisee is shut out. 'O the depth both of the riches and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!' (Romans 11:33). Why did he take the most vile? Here is the only reason I have been able to find ever since I read my Bible -'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.'
Christ chooses some that seek him, and not others. There was a young ruler came to Christ, and said, 'Good Master, what good thing shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?" (Matthew 19:16). He was in earnest, yet something came in the way, and he went back. A woman that was a sinner came behind Christ weeping, she also was in earnest. Christ said regarding her, 'Her sins which are many are forgiven her' (Luke 7:47, 48). What made the difference? — 'I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy." He called unto him whom he would.' O my brethren, be humbled under the sovereignty of God! If he will have compassion, then he will have compassion.
But I hasten to the third and last point: I have ordained you that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain. Christ not only chooses who are to be saved, but he chooses the way; and he not only chooses the beginning and the end, he chooses the middle also. 'God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation, through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth' (2 Thessalonians 2:13). 'According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love' (Ephesians 1:4). And in Romans 8:30 it is said, 'Whom he did predestinate, them he also called; and whom he called them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he glorified.' Salvation is like a golden chain let down from heaven to earth; two links are the hands of God — election and final salvation; but some of the links are on earth — conversion, adoption, etc. Brethren, Christ never chooses a man to believe, and then leap into glory. Ah, my brethren, how this takes away the feet from all objections raised against this holy doctrine of election. Some here perhaps say, If I am elected, I will be saved, live as I like. No; if you live an unholy life, you will not be saved. Some may say, If I am not elected, I will not be saved, do as I like. Whether you are elected or not, I know not, but this I know - if you believe on Christ you will be saved.
Let me ask you, have you believed on Christ? Let me ask you another question, do you bear his whole image? Then you are elected, and will be saved. But if there are any here who have not believed on Christ, and who do not live a holy life, then, whatever you think now, you will find it true that you were among those who were passed by.
Ah! my brethren, those who deny election, deny that God can have mercy. O it is a sweet truth that God can have mercy! There is nothing in the hardness of your hearts that will keep God from having mercy on you. Go away home with this truth, that God can have mercy. 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you ...'Amen.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
(Whole) (Hearted)
Jesus today my mind was elsewhere I'm starting to really think about that verse keep every thought captive, I'm pretty sure that there were lies of the enemy I was meditating on, and I'm sure the only reason I meditated on them is because I didn't slay them with the word of G-d and in my wicked heart I believed there to be truth in the lie.. in which there is. But just like a little poop in the brownie can make the whole brownie disgusting.. so there may be some truth in the lie it is still a lie. And what does Godliness have to do with worldliness? or light with darkness? or idols with God's temple? 2 Corinth 6:14-16 IN THE NAME OF JESUS CAST DOWN THE IDOLATRIES IN MY HEART. The wrong mindsets, the wrong attitude, my independentness my trust in this dumb worldly gain. How I long to be whole heartedly yours, fully and completely. I want to go through an act of consecration, I MUST go through some consecration.Today I saw some lesbians outside of Starbucks I thought to myself I should talk to them, I love them and want to get to know them, I want to talk to them about Jesus, I want us to be friends. However I didn't say a word.. that's not whole heartedness right there, earlier today I went to work out but I didn't get to do the running part of my work out and however I convinced myself that I would do it later but I didn't, again.. not fully being whole hearted in that. Today I longed to pray when I got home and just mourn and become one with your holy spirit yet I said a prayer and then watched Dr.Phil and Oprah.. seriously? What was that? I don't think I've watched t.v in ages but somehow those shows get to me. I took a long nap and probably took forever to get ready to go to starbucks and even then getting into your word was hard to do. Father I can't have compromise, I just can't have it. I think a lot about my facebook and how it feels like I just go on to check it and yet spend an hour on it, which in itself is not bad. But I think that I long for some sort of human connection, affirmation, and approval. I think I see the careless ways of my highschool friends and a part of my heart still wishes and maybe longs to be there. Even though your word says not to envy the wicked for they will have there day of judgement and justice will be established upon the earth. Father I was listening to a sermon that your daughter preached about being whole hearted, it was pretty legit.. I think that in my mind I romatisize the past and maybe wait for the future.. but what if the future doesn't come? Our life is like grass here today gone tomorrow, all is fading. And I can't just keep riding on the encounter that I had days ago I have to have one TODAY especially alone in the secret place. She also talked about how we sometimes say "well if only I get married, or if I only make this change or that change, or become this way or that way, or fast or give up things.. or whatever then maybe I'll be the type of christian I want to be". But that's not what I want to live by anymore, I can't wait for saturday nights to evangelize, I can't wait for the prayer meeting to pray, I can't wait for the prayer room, I can't wait till I feel comfortable, I can't wait till I feel compelled, the only thing I can do is pray NOW, and ask for your holy spirit NOW. In THIS VERY HOUR, release your SPIRIT! release the boldness of the righteous, release urgency, and steadfastness. Father in my mind and in my heart I make lots of lists.. o0o man I'm the queen of lists, and making plans I REALLY like to dream about the future and figure out ways to make things happen. I love to fantasize about things, I'm a visionary, it's the way you made me I wasn't always great at the whole "here and now thing". And it's hard to train myself to be different I long to walk with your spirit, like daily, min by min led by you. I dnt want to be carnal I want to be yours. But my thoughts take me to a place if only.. and what if.. and next week.. next month.. next year.. I'm 19.. how long must I have on this earth? I just want a few simple rules to live by..
One being I want to be whole hearted now and in Everything! I WANT to die daily when it doesn't seem like a big spiritual cross I WANT to die to the small things, I want to be relevant to you Jesus all the time. I don't really want to step outside of my spirit man anymore..
Second I want to pray unceasingly, I want urgency to consume me, I also long to communicate with you constantly, you must take over my heart. I want to want to die daily, for the joy set before me I want to be with you one day, and I want to do this whole earth thing WITH YOU! It's my season in this side of life and I don't get another chance at it. I don't want to get to eternity and regret not letting your name be Glorified.
Third I want to be a servant of all in the small things, I want you to be Glorified I don't want to seperate spiriutal things from mundane things, I want to bring you into everything. I don't want to be so consumed with spiritual things I forget the most important and that is to serve my brother and sister and to love you whole heartedly in everything. I want to be whole hearted in my thoughts, relationships, and in everything. Can you come tonight and seal these things in my heart??
Dad I don't want to waste the time you've given me, I don't want to waste my thoughts, the money you've given me, this life you so abundantly bless me with, the people in my life, I'm sincerely lost without the holy spirit so send your comforter so that I may walk with the holy spirit and have eyes to see and ears to hear what he's saying. Fulfill the promises you've placed in my heart, I want to love and live like the man that I HAVE a HUGE crush on , the one that I'm longing for attention, affection, and approval from is watching all the time. And that's you Jesus I want to impress you, make you blush, and suprise you with my obedience. Father your son Keith says "obedience is better than sacrifice" kinda of reminds me of
1 Corinth 13
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing".
Lord if I fast yet don't die to my flesh daily and love whole heartedly then what good is the fast? It kind of reminds me of Isaiah 58
3 'Why have we fasted,' they say,
'and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
and you have not noticed?'
'Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
and exploit all your workers.
4 Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,
and in striking each other with wicked fists.
You cannot fast as you do today
and expect your voice to be heard on high.
5 Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
only a day for a man to humble himself?
Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed
and for lying on sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
a day acceptable to the LORD ?
6 'Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness [a] will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
There's a pattern here.. WE can't do kingdom things! are righteousness is dung in his sight, it's poop.. see our foundation has to be one of complete brokeness, and dependency on the father, a foundation of repentence. John said it perfectly when he rebuked the pharisees and asked them who said you could escape God's judgement? He told them to repent and produce fruit consistent with repentance. They produced lots of fruit but was it consistent with repentence? Man looking at their fruit we might say that the pharisees loved God but God doesn't look at what man looks at, his ways are higher than ours, he's not like us. We can just be holy by doing holy things, we just can be righteous by imitating it, the holy spirit has to do it. The holy spirit has to lead us, the holy spirit has to break down our pride and make a foundation of repentence, our righteous works have to be produced out of a heart of love sickness for our abba father. But JESUS why use me for I am just a women of unclean lips? And i dwell among those of unlcean lips, but if you ask who will you send? Well JESUS I'll respond I'll be your girl I'll try to be whole hearted because I've been really vain about pursuing righteousness. I don't just want righteousness for righteous sake but abba Dad I want it to be about you.. but when I look at my heart the secret place of my own heart I know that I don't love you as much as I want to...
I see the filthiness in my heart, every impure motive, every habitual good work, every faithless prayer, every time my heart is hardened towards your voice, every time I love my money and I love my time, every time I resist your still quite invitation into the quite place, every time I speak and my words are tainted with bitterness, strife, or envy, you see it all Jesus. And you see this girl that has little faith, little love, and little purity in my pursuit of holiness. You see it all and I can't believe you still love me! I'm still really undone by that, and I'm aksing you Jesus I need help with this whole christian thing, I'm getting to the point of being right there with Moses when he said I'm not going on without you. I think I don't want to do this whole promise land thing without you. I want to walk with you I want you to be my Dad, I don't want to reach the height of something righteous or holy without you. I don't want to lose the point, the means, and the way with this whole walk. I want to be whole hearted, humbled, a servant like you. I want to be like you when I grow up Jesus! You did everything for your father and it was all about your father. Jesus you see all my thoughts .. o0o how they wonder, look how they are majoritively on other things, mostly vain they are focused on how i'm going to make it in this world and make a name for myself in this world when I'm supposed to die to this world. Jesus my thoughts are like a white washed tomb! I want to look so beautiful on the outside, so put together, so holy, so righteous, so right on, so graceful, but Lord I think it would be better if I looked like the cracked out drug addict on the corner of the street. Becuase that cracked out drug addict image would be a more true potrayel of my heart than anything else. I really ugly on the inside, let me not decieve anyone! My heart is deceitfully wicked and without you doing the work the workers labor in vain. And without you walking with me and dwelling inside of me I cannot produce any fruit and these limbs will be thrown into the lake of fire this I KNOW.Actually I'm a lot like Judas in a way Jesus sometimes I use you for selfish gain, to look good, that's why I NEED you to humble me all the time. Because I'm just like Judas I'll walk with you, talk to you, handle your money, let you touch my feet, I'll even kiss you... but my heart can be sooo far from you! I can use you to become someone, and in the end lose you completely! My pride will cause me to fall Lord Jesus that's why I'm desperately asking you to make me whole hearted, I want everything to be about you and for you. I want to pray unceasingly not because I'm a righteous prayer warrior but because my heart is so prone to wonder, more than anyone elses. And often I even think I am someone, and that you love me more, and that I'm more spiritual than other pple, but Jesus you know the truth I am only a fool for you, and I will continually be made out to be a fool for you and you alone!
1 Corinth 3:13-13"Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is. "
18 Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. 19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, “He catches the wise in their own craftiness”;[a] 20 and again, “The LORD knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile.”[
Father let me always be soo foolish and lovesick for you! And if you ever sober me up let it not be for the sake of pleasing man and trying to impress man like I so like to do, but let it be for the act of pleasing man and being all things to all man for the sake of winning their souls for your Glory!
2 Corinth 5:13 "For if we are besides ourselves, it is for the God; or if we are of sound mind it is for you".
O0o Jesus please come and purify me, do what only you can do.. I don't want to boast in the holy things, I don't want to boast in the outpouring of your spirit, I want to boast first and foremost that my name is written in the book of life. Father respond to me tonight. Seal some things in my heart, let me die daily abba. I love you. I'm just asking for a pure heart, to be all there and not elsewhere. I want to be all there wherever you put me, not going elsewhere in my mind.Not out in some other spiritual prideful place. I want to be a servant of all.
"My child, forsake yourself and you shall find Me.Follow no choice of your own, allow yourself no self-seeking, and you will be always growing rich.For fresh grace will be poured into your soul whenever you yield yourself to Me as a gift never to be withdrawn. But how often, O Lord, must I give myself up, in what things must I deny myself? Always and at every hour, in little things and in great alike. I make no exception; I wish you to be found free from self in everything. How else can you be Mine and I be yours, unless you are utterly stripped of your own will? The sooner you do this, the better it will be for you; and the more fully and sincerely you do it, the more you will please Me and profit yourself." -Imitation of Christ.
Father let this blog even be only for the edifying of my own soul, for the building up of the church, and for the Glory of your cross! Amen.
One being I want to be whole hearted now and in Everything! I WANT to die daily when it doesn't seem like a big spiritual cross I WANT to die to the small things, I want to be relevant to you Jesus all the time. I don't really want to step outside of my spirit man anymore..
Second I want to pray unceasingly, I want urgency to consume me, I also long to communicate with you constantly, you must take over my heart. I want to want to die daily, for the joy set before me I want to be with you one day, and I want to do this whole earth thing WITH YOU! It's my season in this side of life and I don't get another chance at it. I don't want to get to eternity and regret not letting your name be Glorified.
Third I want to be a servant of all in the small things, I want you to be Glorified I don't want to seperate spiriutal things from mundane things, I want to bring you into everything. I don't want to be so consumed with spiritual things I forget the most important and that is to serve my brother and sister and to love you whole heartedly in everything. I want to be whole hearted in my thoughts, relationships, and in everything. Can you come tonight and seal these things in my heart??
Dad I don't want to waste the time you've given me, I don't want to waste my thoughts, the money you've given me, this life you so abundantly bless me with, the people in my life, I'm sincerely lost without the holy spirit so send your comforter so that I may walk with the holy spirit and have eyes to see and ears to hear what he's saying. Fulfill the promises you've placed in my heart, I want to love and live like the man that I HAVE a HUGE crush on , the one that I'm longing for attention, affection, and approval from is watching all the time. And that's you Jesus I want to impress you, make you blush, and suprise you with my obedience. Father your son Keith says "obedience is better than sacrifice" kinda of reminds me of
1 Corinth 13
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing".
Lord if I fast yet don't die to my flesh daily and love whole heartedly then what good is the fast? It kind of reminds me of Isaiah 58
3 'Why have we fasted,' they say,
'and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
and you have not noticed?'
'Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
and exploit all your workers.
4 Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,
and in striking each other with wicked fists.
You cannot fast as you do today
and expect your voice to be heard on high.
5 Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
only a day for a man to humble himself?
Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed
and for lying on sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
a day acceptable to the LORD ?
6 'Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness [a] will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
There's a pattern here.. WE can't do kingdom things! are righteousness is dung in his sight, it's poop.. see our foundation has to be one of complete brokeness, and dependency on the father, a foundation of repentence. John said it perfectly when he rebuked the pharisees and asked them who said you could escape God's judgement? He told them to repent and produce fruit consistent with repentance. They produced lots of fruit but was it consistent with repentence? Man looking at their fruit we might say that the pharisees loved God but God doesn't look at what man looks at, his ways are higher than ours, he's not like us. We can just be holy by doing holy things, we just can be righteous by imitating it, the holy spirit has to do it. The holy spirit has to lead us, the holy spirit has to break down our pride and make a foundation of repentence, our righteous works have to be produced out of a heart of love sickness for our abba father. But JESUS why use me for I am just a women of unclean lips? And i dwell among those of unlcean lips, but if you ask who will you send? Well JESUS I'll respond I'll be your girl I'll try to be whole hearted because I've been really vain about pursuing righteousness. I don't just want righteousness for righteous sake but abba Dad I want it to be about you.. but when I look at my heart the secret place of my own heart I know that I don't love you as much as I want to...
I see the filthiness in my heart, every impure motive, every habitual good work, every faithless prayer, every time my heart is hardened towards your voice, every time I love my money and I love my time, every time I resist your still quite invitation into the quite place, every time I speak and my words are tainted with bitterness, strife, or envy, you see it all Jesus. And you see this girl that has little faith, little love, and little purity in my pursuit of holiness. You see it all and I can't believe you still love me! I'm still really undone by that, and I'm aksing you Jesus I need help with this whole christian thing, I'm getting to the point of being right there with Moses when he said I'm not going on without you. I think I don't want to do this whole promise land thing without you. I want to walk with you I want you to be my Dad, I don't want to reach the height of something righteous or holy without you. I don't want to lose the point, the means, and the way with this whole walk. I want to be whole hearted, humbled, a servant like you. I want to be like you when I grow up Jesus! You did everything for your father and it was all about your father. Jesus you see all my thoughts .. o0o how they wonder, look how they are majoritively on other things, mostly vain they are focused on how i'm going to make it in this world and make a name for myself in this world when I'm supposed to die to this world. Jesus my thoughts are like a white washed tomb! I want to look so beautiful on the outside, so put together, so holy, so righteous, so right on, so graceful, but Lord I think it would be better if I looked like the cracked out drug addict on the corner of the street. Becuase that cracked out drug addict image would be a more true potrayel of my heart than anything else. I really ugly on the inside, let me not decieve anyone! My heart is deceitfully wicked and without you doing the work the workers labor in vain. And without you walking with me and dwelling inside of me I cannot produce any fruit and these limbs will be thrown into the lake of fire this I KNOW.Actually I'm a lot like Judas in a way Jesus sometimes I use you for selfish gain, to look good, that's why I NEED you to humble me all the time. Because I'm just like Judas I'll walk with you, talk to you, handle your money, let you touch my feet, I'll even kiss you... but my heart can be sooo far from you! I can use you to become someone, and in the end lose you completely! My pride will cause me to fall Lord Jesus that's why I'm desperately asking you to make me whole hearted, I want everything to be about you and for you. I want to pray unceasingly not because I'm a righteous prayer warrior but because my heart is so prone to wonder, more than anyone elses. And often I even think I am someone, and that you love me more, and that I'm more spiritual than other pple, but Jesus you know the truth I am only a fool for you, and I will continually be made out to be a fool for you and you alone!
1 Corinth 3:13-13"Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is. "
18 Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. 19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, “He catches the wise in their own craftiness”;[a] 20 and again, “The LORD knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile.”[
Father let me always be soo foolish and lovesick for you! And if you ever sober me up let it not be for the sake of pleasing man and trying to impress man like I so like to do, but let it be for the act of pleasing man and being all things to all man for the sake of winning their souls for your Glory!
2 Corinth 5:13 "For if we are besides ourselves, it is for the God; or if we are of sound mind it is for you".
O0o Jesus please come and purify me, do what only you can do.. I don't want to boast in the holy things, I don't want to boast in the outpouring of your spirit, I want to boast first and foremost that my name is written in the book of life. Father respond to me tonight. Seal some things in my heart, let me die daily abba. I love you. I'm just asking for a pure heart, to be all there and not elsewhere. I want to be all there wherever you put me, not going elsewhere in my mind.Not out in some other spiritual prideful place. I want to be a servant of all.
"My child, forsake yourself and you shall find Me.Follow no choice of your own, allow yourself no self-seeking, and you will be always growing rich.For fresh grace will be poured into your soul whenever you yield yourself to Me as a gift never to be withdrawn. But how often, O Lord, must I give myself up, in what things must I deny myself? Always and at every hour, in little things and in great alike. I make no exception; I wish you to be found free from self in everything. How else can you be Mine and I be yours, unless you are utterly stripped of your own will? The sooner you do this, the better it will be for you; and the more fully and sincerely you do it, the more you will please Me and profit yourself." -Imitation of Christ.
Father let this blog even be only for the edifying of my own soul, for the building up of the church, and for the Glory of your cross! Amen.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
I need to be made lower.
Jesus I NEED to be brought lower, don't prop me up with the prayer meetings don't just use me in evangelism all is loss unless I walk and commune with you. Yes vanities are drawing me away, yet I WILL choose to stay devoted to you, call me on a fast to give up the cravings of this world, I'm too content with familiarity with comfort yet I'm too restless to stay in it. Father I see you deeper in the place of prayer in my quite time... in the secret place. I am nothing yet you are everything you must break in and mess me up. I want to give up all else Jesus humble me , Jesus answer me, Jesus come near, Jesus bring your kingdom to earth, I need need need you.
Bring Purity, Bring Humility, or else I'll die.. I have to know and Gain you. Show me my identity and give me the strength to walk out in it.
Bring Purity, Bring Humility, or else I'll die.. I have to know and Gain you. Show me my identity and give me the strength to walk out in it.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Father!
Father I'm tired.. I'm tired of this fallen world. I'm really sick of it, I'm sick of my emotions, I'm sick of trying to purge my body,mind, and soul from the poison I fed it for years, I'm tired of people not standing on TRUTH, and I'm sick of TRUTH being so corrupted.. yet I'm sick of people being so hard hardened with their views also. I'm tired of seeing depression, anxiety, heart ache, I'm sick of soul ties, I'm sick of nightmares, I'm so tired of it all. Abba I just want to die to all this.. the other day someone came back into my life that I hadn't seen in forever and that I wasn't ready to see he's homosexual and he used to be one of my best friends. I love him A LOT and he loves me a lot, he's a good friend, I used to drink with him and smoke with him. He came back into my life and my heart sank because everything I knew back then about being a good friend was a complete lie, I was never Jesus to him. I never was filled with the holy spirit, and now I love him soo much more but I'm also burdened with the pains and depression he's gone through in the last year. I'm burdened with his sin, and I'm burdened with the sin of the world. I'm burdened with my lack of love, I keep trying hard to muster up enough faith and love to walk out holy spirit things... kingdom things. Yet I'm so bogged down with disbelief and comforts. I've been reading the bible lately and it's been messing me up, christianity is just not what it supposed to be.. I'm glad america came up with something cool to do on sunday mornings, and to make you good enough to not be convicted of righteousness, judgement, and sin. I've been praying a lot and reading Luke and I've been seeking out my theological stand on things.. for whatever that means.. and I've gotten this from christianity 101.
OK so lets just throw some things out on the table I've been seeking Jesus lately, asking pleading for the holy spirit and eating the scroll now I believe the Christianity that we've become a part of is a imitation of what the bible talks about.. this means it could be the spirit of the anti-christ. But don't fret beloved, he has mercy on us! that is the humble.. the bible says he detests the proud but he has grace to the humble. So if we humbled ourselves and repent for where we've been wrong, then possibly we can truly serve the messiah with a spirit of truth, integrity, and purity of heart. Lets not give the maimed animals anymore.. he doesn't deserve that, and who are you fooling anyways? that's disgusting.. and he is the RIGHTEOUS, LION OF JUDAH, FIERCE, AND A GREAT LOVER nothing gets by him, who are you trying to fool? The Lord has told me to read Luke.. so I've been reading, praying, asking for the holy spirit to breath on it and make my heart pure. Because my heart is wicked deceitful, who can trust it? I'm sick of trusting my filthy heart.. I'm going to bet my life on his word from now..
So I want to first state that the Lord doesn't call everyone.. he's not out there selling popcorn at a baseball game yelling who wants salvation and heaven? get it now while it's hot and ready! No he's not like that.. I read in Luke 24 that he has to CALL you.. and he doesn't touch the proud.. he actually makes fun of the proud and mocks them as it says in pslms because there judgement is coming. In Luke 24:39 "For the promise is for you and for your children, and for all who are far off, as many as the Lord our God will call". As many as he calls.. Second the spirit has to testify to your salvation..this my friend is called the holy spirit.. part of the triune God that no one likes to talk about. He sent us the holy spirit to convict us of sin, righteousness, and judgement John 16:7-11. If you don't feel the holy spirit and he doesn't bring conviction into your life.. than most likely you never were desperate or humble enough to receive salvation in the first place and he doesn't know you. Look just because you go to church doesn't mean your saved, just because you felt bad when you felt convicted of your sin doesn't mean your saved, salvation is repentance that means you have cried out "have mercy on me a sinner" and you pleaded with God for mercy on your soul, and you turned away from unrighteousness. The lord distinctively asked me this question one night, "Brooke what if you don't know me? what if you don't recognize me when you die? what if you don't know me like a friend?" and it was years till I felt secured in the fact that he is my only friend. And he had mercy on me, I still don't know why.. because I still have so much pride left in my life. Luke 13:25 "Once the homeowner gets up and shuts the door, then you will stand outside and knock on the door, saying 'Lord, open up for us!' He will answer you, 'I don't know you or where you're from. Then you will say, We ate and drank in Your Presence and You taught in our streets!" Man.. that gets me we ate and drank in your presence? I don't care if you've witnessed the presence of God and partook in it, he doesn't need kids that like him on spiritual highs, he doesn't need people that listen to his word preached on Sunday, he needs desperate crazy followers and lovers of him. And yes you Absolutely HAVE to be crazy to follow him.. it's without a doubt, if you read your bible you will come to the conclusion that he does not want you half in and half out, wants you all or nothing, their are no wall flowers in the kingdom of God. For the bible says that forceful men lay hold of the kingdom, not complacent lazy men. I don't care if you have ok fruit.. that looks good enough for this world to justify you, that doesn't mean you'll be justified in the eyes of God. I really got this concept during the fasting LTE. When crazy John says " Therefore produce fruit consistent with repentance. And don't start saying to yourselves, I have Abraham as our father,'for I tell you that God is able to raise up children for Abraham from these stones!" Luke 3:8 . See the pharisees produced fruit.. but it wasn't good,it wasn't birthed out of a heart of love they had pride and malice in their hearts just like it talks about it with the pharisee and the tax collector, the tax collector walked away justified for pleading for mercy while the pharisee became proud. See Jesus doesn't need you to be a christian.. he can make children raise up out stones, he's had mercy on America for far too long. And now he's taking his message to closed countries like China and richly pouring out his mercy on those who truly hunger for God's word and love.
I also want us to come to terms with the holy spirit.. not it would be easy to live our christian life without the holy spirit, but we have to come to terms that our christianity is not about us! I know that name is a cool title that may even come with a lot of perks but from now on just call yourself a humble slave of Jesus christ, so that people won't get you confused with those other white washed Christians. The will of a christian is to advance his kingdom and to labour for kingdom things.. it is ultimately to give God Glory using a filthy nasty unworthy vessel that he gets to shine through. The Lord says in Luke 11:23 "Anyone who is not with Me is against Me, and anyone who does not gather with Me scatters. That means if your not gathering people for his kingdom and your not laying hold of kingdom things just get out of the race.. because your making all the christians that are forerunners look bad. Your ruining true salvation and mercy with your friends, because you haven't repented for not loving Jesus enough to say something when your friends mock him and I'm not just talking about with words I'm talking about with actions. I realized that conviction is God's Mercy! and is mercy is o0o so sweet.. and I love my friends and I want them to at least have the chance to gain his mercy.. without it they are lost and will die in their sin.
Ok so back on track with the holy spirit, it must be pretty important if John went crazy in the desert for it, and Jesus was given power from it, and the disciples literally became drunk from it. It says in Ephesians 3:16 to eagerly seek them "I pray that He may grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be stengthened with power through His spirit in the inner man." with power beloved! don't we know we are weak.. and that we need his power to move things in the heavens?! Or do we even care enough to fight the fight that he has called us to? And to run the race he has set out for us? I want to give up sometimes I'm like Lord I see all this evil and corruption and I'm so tired of seeing it, and he invites me to labour with him in intercession, and fasting for the things that I am burdened to change, do we care enough? The word says that it has been granted to us to suffer with him, it has been GRANTED beloved! That it is our joy to witness persecution, and humiliation because he gets more of the Glory and we just want to see him increase and lifted high, and we DESIRE for us to be made lower, and to ulitimately decrease.
We cannot possible read the word of God without the holy spirit, this isn't just any other book beloved.. this is word, life, power, and a sword. And unless the holy spirit is upon us these words will fall on deaf ears, and we won't be able to understand how to use this sword. Luke 24:45 "Then he opened their mind to understand the scriptures", lets us pray that we may understand his scriptures we can gain this understanding through prayer.. let him know how bad you want it.
Another thing that we can't stand to do is wait upon the holy spirit but this is vital.. it will require out time, energy, and life.. Luke 24:48-49 says "You are witnesses of these things, And look, I am sending you what My father promised. As for you, stay in the city until you are empowered from on high" wait up on the holy spirit. We can really look at Anna with this ..Luke 2:37 "And was a widow for 84 years. She did not leave the temple complex, serving God night and day with fastings and prayers. Anna cared about kingdom things.. and she wasted her whole life to lay hold of them. Jesus never desired for us to just believe but he desired to impart us with the holy spirit to have power to forcefully advance his kingdom. Luke 12:49-50 "I came to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already set ablaze! But I have a baptism to be babtized with, and how it consumes me until it is finished!" Jesus was consumed with the babtism of the holy spirit.. so shall we. We have to wait for the holy spirit Luke 11:13 "If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly father give the Holy spirit to those who ask Him?" He wants to give you the holy spirit, just wait, and pray ask the Lord to renew in you a pure heart.. for the pure at heart will see God.
The Lord actually desires for you to live out in faith! He actually got pretty upset with his disciples for not having faith, he required it. How much faith do you have in healing? in prophesying? speaking in tongues? or evangelizing? Luke 9:41 "Jesus replied, "You unbelieving and rebellious generation! How long will I be with you and put up with you? Bring your son here".
Do we have enough faith to spend our lives for it? " Luke 18:6 Jesus is talking about the widow that irritated the judge going to him over and over again asking for justice verse 6 says "Then the Lord said, listen to what the unjust judge says, will not God grant justice to His elect who cry out day and night? Will he delay to help them? I tell you that he will swiftly grant them justice, nevertheless, when the son of man comes will he find that faith on earth?" Will he beloved? Will he find us full of faith being faithful to pray and pray. It also talks about in Mathew 6 Jesus is going over how to PRAY... how to Give... and how to FAST... he wouldn't go over them for fun, beloved these are essential things. We must let go of love of posessions. Luke 15:33 "In the same way, therefore, every one of you who does not say good--bye to all his posessions cannot be my disciple" Learn to GIVE!. Learn to say goodbye beloved.. the word says to throw of sin and everything that so easily entagles you.. does your morning latte entagle you? I know it does for me sometimes therefore I must fast from it, that my comfort may only be on him. We must fast, Mathew 17:21 "However, this kind does not come out except by prayer and fasting". Jesus also said his food was to do the will of the father.. could've he had eyes to see the women at the well's situation if he had not been fasting? Fasting enlightens our spiritual eyes..
Stay alert!
Ephesians 5:14 " For what makes everything clear is light therefore it is said: Get up, sleeper, and rise up from the dead, and the messiah will shine on you".
Wake up dead church! wake up dead people! stop sleeping the messiah is coming! raise up from the dead you weren't designed to be stagnant you weren't designed to sit as the enemy steals lives and people.
Ephesians 5:16-17 You don't have time to waste!
"Making the most of the time, because the days are evil. So don't be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is." The Lord's will his to purify his bride, to return, to save souls, and to establish his kingdom.. now take part in this!
Ephesians 6:18 "With every prayer and request, pray at all times in the spirit, and stay alert in this, with all perserverance and intercession for all the saints".
The Lord's kingdom will come! don't be afraid in Luke 12:32 says "Don't be afraid, little flock, because your father delights to give you the kingdom". So go out and evangelize and be bold he is with you and will never leave you nor forsake you. Unless you deny him before man.. then the bible says he will deny you before the father.
"Devote youselves to prayer, stay alert in it with thanksgiving" colossians 3:2 Lets like to pray! God says that his house is a house of prayer, but our church has made it a house of thieves.. lets pray
Luke 12:35 "Be ready for service and have your lamps lit. You must be like people waiting for their master to return from the wedding banquet so that when he comes and knocks, they can open the door for him at once."
Have your oil ready.. which means love the Lord intimately thouroughly, befriend the holy spirit. David longed and panted for the Lord he wanted God's secrets. "The secret counsel of the Lord is for those who fear him. And he reveals his covenant to them" pslm 25:14. Delight yourself in the Lord and stir up your soul, speak to your soul and tell it to awake and praise the Lord.
"In your behalf my heart says, "seek my face", Lord I will seek your face"Pslm 27:8 he is worthy , seek his FACE don't get too busy with the things of God that your forget to gain the most important thing... which is only one thing soo important.
Pslm 27:4 "I have asked one thing from the Lord, it is what I desire: to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, gazing on the beauty of the Lord and seeking Him in His temple"
Martha realized this too when Jesus talked to her about "one thing" being soo important. Luke 10:41-42
" The Lord answered her " Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but ONE THING is necessary. Mary has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her". Are we at his feet beloved gazing on the beauty of his face? Longing to be in his sanctuary when he returns?
"Lord I love the house where you dwell, the place where your glory resides" pslm 26:8
Like I said beloved I've been reading Luke and I want authentic love sick adoration and obedience from us and from myself.. I keep falling short of it.. but Jesus address those people as righteous saying that a righteous man falls 70 x 7 times but he keeps getting back up. We must lay hold of him.. and count everything else as loss phil 3:8 he is the one thing worth gaining even the religious things that we used to be apart of and used to justify us, are like dung for we are not righteous from the law, but we are righteous through faith our love in the Lord, let our goal be to know him and the power of his ressurection and the fellowship of his sufferings. Being conformed to his death- phil 3:7-10
Lord have mercy on us sinners! we have fallen short of the Glory with no hope other than our faith in our beloved Jesus, we cling to him in this fallen world and we will not rest until his kingdom comes! when we actually get to sit at your feet and gaze at your beauty. Purify us, let us redeem the time, affections, and vanities that we've foolishly invested into this world. We only desire you!
Love your beloved
Brooke
We must Fast.. we desire to bring God's kingdom. Notice that Jesus always says today the kingdom has been brought near, or been brought to you.
OK so lets just throw some things out on the table I've been seeking Jesus lately, asking pleading for the holy spirit and eating the scroll now I believe the Christianity that we've become a part of is a imitation of what the bible talks about.. this means it could be the spirit of the anti-christ. But don't fret beloved, he has mercy on us! that is the humble.. the bible says he detests the proud but he has grace to the humble. So if we humbled ourselves and repent for where we've been wrong, then possibly we can truly serve the messiah with a spirit of truth, integrity, and purity of heart. Lets not give the maimed animals anymore.. he doesn't deserve that, and who are you fooling anyways? that's disgusting.. and he is the RIGHTEOUS, LION OF JUDAH, FIERCE, AND A GREAT LOVER nothing gets by him, who are you trying to fool? The Lord has told me to read Luke.. so I've been reading, praying, asking for the holy spirit to breath on it and make my heart pure. Because my heart is wicked deceitful, who can trust it? I'm sick of trusting my filthy heart.. I'm going to bet my life on his word from now..
So I want to first state that the Lord doesn't call everyone.. he's not out there selling popcorn at a baseball game yelling who wants salvation and heaven? get it now while it's hot and ready! No he's not like that.. I read in Luke 24 that he has to CALL you.. and he doesn't touch the proud.. he actually makes fun of the proud and mocks them as it says in pslms because there judgement is coming. In Luke 24:39 "For the promise is for you and for your children, and for all who are far off, as many as the Lord our God will call". As many as he calls.. Second the spirit has to testify to your salvation..this my friend is called the holy spirit.. part of the triune God that no one likes to talk about. He sent us the holy spirit to convict us of sin, righteousness, and judgement John 16:7-11. If you don't feel the holy spirit and he doesn't bring conviction into your life.. than most likely you never were desperate or humble enough to receive salvation in the first place and he doesn't know you. Look just because you go to church doesn't mean your saved, just because you felt bad when you felt convicted of your sin doesn't mean your saved, salvation is repentance that means you have cried out "have mercy on me a sinner" and you pleaded with God for mercy on your soul, and you turned away from unrighteousness. The lord distinctively asked me this question one night, "Brooke what if you don't know me? what if you don't recognize me when you die? what if you don't know me like a friend?" and it was years till I felt secured in the fact that he is my only friend. And he had mercy on me, I still don't know why.. because I still have so much pride left in my life. Luke 13:25 "Once the homeowner gets up and shuts the door, then you will stand outside and knock on the door, saying 'Lord, open up for us!' He will answer you, 'I don't know you or where you're from. Then you will say, We ate and drank in Your Presence and You taught in our streets!" Man.. that gets me we ate and drank in your presence? I don't care if you've witnessed the presence of God and partook in it, he doesn't need kids that like him on spiritual highs, he doesn't need people that listen to his word preached on Sunday, he needs desperate crazy followers and lovers of him. And yes you Absolutely HAVE to be crazy to follow him.. it's without a doubt, if you read your bible you will come to the conclusion that he does not want you half in and half out, wants you all or nothing, their are no wall flowers in the kingdom of God. For the bible says that forceful men lay hold of the kingdom, not complacent lazy men. I don't care if you have ok fruit.. that looks good enough for this world to justify you, that doesn't mean you'll be justified in the eyes of God. I really got this concept during the fasting LTE. When crazy John says " Therefore produce fruit consistent with repentance. And don't start saying to yourselves, I have Abraham as our father,'for I tell you that God is able to raise up children for Abraham from these stones!" Luke 3:8 . See the pharisees produced fruit.. but it wasn't good,it wasn't birthed out of a heart of love they had pride and malice in their hearts just like it talks about it with the pharisee and the tax collector, the tax collector walked away justified for pleading for mercy while the pharisee became proud. See Jesus doesn't need you to be a christian.. he can make children raise up out stones, he's had mercy on America for far too long. And now he's taking his message to closed countries like China and richly pouring out his mercy on those who truly hunger for God's word and love.
I also want us to come to terms with the holy spirit.. not it would be easy to live our christian life without the holy spirit, but we have to come to terms that our christianity is not about us! I know that name is a cool title that may even come with a lot of perks but from now on just call yourself a humble slave of Jesus christ, so that people won't get you confused with those other white washed Christians. The will of a christian is to advance his kingdom and to labour for kingdom things.. it is ultimately to give God Glory using a filthy nasty unworthy vessel that he gets to shine through. The Lord says in Luke 11:23 "Anyone who is not with Me is against Me, and anyone who does not gather with Me scatters. That means if your not gathering people for his kingdom and your not laying hold of kingdom things just get out of the race.. because your making all the christians that are forerunners look bad. Your ruining true salvation and mercy with your friends, because you haven't repented for not loving Jesus enough to say something when your friends mock him and I'm not just talking about with words I'm talking about with actions. I realized that conviction is God's Mercy! and is mercy is o0o so sweet.. and I love my friends and I want them to at least have the chance to gain his mercy.. without it they are lost and will die in their sin.
Ok so back on track with the holy spirit, it must be pretty important if John went crazy in the desert for it, and Jesus was given power from it, and the disciples literally became drunk from it. It says in Ephesians 3:16 to eagerly seek them "I pray that He may grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be stengthened with power through His spirit in the inner man." with power beloved! don't we know we are weak.. and that we need his power to move things in the heavens?! Or do we even care enough to fight the fight that he has called us to? And to run the race he has set out for us? I want to give up sometimes I'm like Lord I see all this evil and corruption and I'm so tired of seeing it, and he invites me to labour with him in intercession, and fasting for the things that I am burdened to change, do we care enough? The word says that it has been granted to us to suffer with him, it has been GRANTED beloved! That it is our joy to witness persecution, and humiliation because he gets more of the Glory and we just want to see him increase and lifted high, and we DESIRE for us to be made lower, and to ulitimately decrease.
We cannot possible read the word of God without the holy spirit, this isn't just any other book beloved.. this is word, life, power, and a sword. And unless the holy spirit is upon us these words will fall on deaf ears, and we won't be able to understand how to use this sword. Luke 24:45 "Then he opened their mind to understand the scriptures", lets us pray that we may understand his scriptures we can gain this understanding through prayer.. let him know how bad you want it.
Another thing that we can't stand to do is wait upon the holy spirit but this is vital.. it will require out time, energy, and life.. Luke 24:48-49 says "You are witnesses of these things, And look, I am sending you what My father promised. As for you, stay in the city until you are empowered from on high" wait up on the holy spirit. We can really look at Anna with this ..Luke 2:37 "And was a widow for 84 years. She did not leave the temple complex, serving God night and day with fastings and prayers. Anna cared about kingdom things.. and she wasted her whole life to lay hold of them. Jesus never desired for us to just believe but he desired to impart us with the holy spirit to have power to forcefully advance his kingdom. Luke 12:49-50 "I came to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already set ablaze! But I have a baptism to be babtized with, and how it consumes me until it is finished!" Jesus was consumed with the babtism of the holy spirit.. so shall we. We have to wait for the holy spirit Luke 11:13 "If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly father give the Holy spirit to those who ask Him?" He wants to give you the holy spirit, just wait, and pray ask the Lord to renew in you a pure heart.. for the pure at heart will see God.
The Lord actually desires for you to live out in faith! He actually got pretty upset with his disciples for not having faith, he required it. How much faith do you have in healing? in prophesying? speaking in tongues? or evangelizing? Luke 9:41 "Jesus replied, "You unbelieving and rebellious generation! How long will I be with you and put up with you? Bring your son here".
Do we have enough faith to spend our lives for it? " Luke 18:6 Jesus is talking about the widow that irritated the judge going to him over and over again asking for justice verse 6 says "Then the Lord said, listen to what the unjust judge says, will not God grant justice to His elect who cry out day and night? Will he delay to help them? I tell you that he will swiftly grant them justice, nevertheless, when the son of man comes will he find that faith on earth?" Will he beloved? Will he find us full of faith being faithful to pray and pray. It also talks about in Mathew 6 Jesus is going over how to PRAY... how to Give... and how to FAST... he wouldn't go over them for fun, beloved these are essential things. We must let go of love of posessions. Luke 15:33 "In the same way, therefore, every one of you who does not say good--bye to all his posessions cannot be my disciple" Learn to GIVE!. Learn to say goodbye beloved.. the word says to throw of sin and everything that so easily entagles you.. does your morning latte entagle you? I know it does for me sometimes therefore I must fast from it, that my comfort may only be on him. We must fast, Mathew 17:21 "However, this kind does not come out except by prayer and fasting". Jesus also said his food was to do the will of the father.. could've he had eyes to see the women at the well's situation if he had not been fasting? Fasting enlightens our spiritual eyes..
Stay alert!
Ephesians 5:14 " For what makes everything clear is light therefore it is said: Get up, sleeper, and rise up from the dead, and the messiah will shine on you".
Wake up dead church! wake up dead people! stop sleeping the messiah is coming! raise up from the dead you weren't designed to be stagnant you weren't designed to sit as the enemy steals lives and people.
Ephesians 5:16-17 You don't have time to waste!
"Making the most of the time, because the days are evil. So don't be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is." The Lord's will his to purify his bride, to return, to save souls, and to establish his kingdom.. now take part in this!
Ephesians 6:18 "With every prayer and request, pray at all times in the spirit, and stay alert in this, with all perserverance and intercession for all the saints".
The Lord's kingdom will come! don't be afraid in Luke 12:32 says "Don't be afraid, little flock, because your father delights to give you the kingdom". So go out and evangelize and be bold he is with you and will never leave you nor forsake you. Unless you deny him before man.. then the bible says he will deny you before the father.
"Devote youselves to prayer, stay alert in it with thanksgiving" colossians 3:2 Lets like to pray! God says that his house is a house of prayer, but our church has made it a house of thieves.. lets pray
Luke 12:35 "Be ready for service and have your lamps lit. You must be like people waiting for their master to return from the wedding banquet so that when he comes and knocks, they can open the door for him at once."
Have your oil ready.. which means love the Lord intimately thouroughly, befriend the holy spirit. David longed and panted for the Lord he wanted God's secrets. "The secret counsel of the Lord is for those who fear him. And he reveals his covenant to them" pslm 25:14. Delight yourself in the Lord and stir up your soul, speak to your soul and tell it to awake and praise the Lord.
"In your behalf my heart says, "seek my face", Lord I will seek your face"Pslm 27:8 he is worthy , seek his FACE don't get too busy with the things of God that your forget to gain the most important thing... which is only one thing soo important.
Pslm 27:4 "I have asked one thing from the Lord, it is what I desire: to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, gazing on the beauty of the Lord and seeking Him in His temple"
Martha realized this too when Jesus talked to her about "one thing" being soo important. Luke 10:41-42
" The Lord answered her " Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but ONE THING is necessary. Mary has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her". Are we at his feet beloved gazing on the beauty of his face? Longing to be in his sanctuary when he returns?
"Lord I love the house where you dwell, the place where your glory resides" pslm 26:8
Like I said beloved I've been reading Luke and I want authentic love sick adoration and obedience from us and from myself.. I keep falling short of it.. but Jesus address those people as righteous saying that a righteous man falls 70 x 7 times but he keeps getting back up. We must lay hold of him.. and count everything else as loss phil 3:8 he is the one thing worth gaining even the religious things that we used to be apart of and used to justify us, are like dung for we are not righteous from the law, but we are righteous through faith our love in the Lord, let our goal be to know him and the power of his ressurection and the fellowship of his sufferings. Being conformed to his death- phil 3:7-10
Lord have mercy on us sinners! we have fallen short of the Glory with no hope other than our faith in our beloved Jesus, we cling to him in this fallen world and we will not rest until his kingdom comes! when we actually get to sit at your feet and gaze at your beauty. Purify us, let us redeem the time, affections, and vanities that we've foolishly invested into this world. We only desire you!
Love your beloved
Brooke
We must Fast.. we desire to bring God's kingdom. Notice that Jesus always says today the kingdom has been brought near, or been brought to you.
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