Without Faith it is Sin.

Without FAITH our prayers are sin..
Without Faith our selfish love is sin, unless it's him..
Without faith we are nothing and will accomplish nothing on manmade wisdom.
Without faith we will trade the real holy spirit, of wisdom, and revelation for a cop-out.
Without Faith what hope do we have?
Without Faith, are we really sure of what we do not see? Are we really saved with faith knowing that he will bring about our salvation that it's not just a nice idea we felt excited to jump on the bandwagon for.. Salvation doesn't just get us to heaven, salvation brings us to Jesus, and what a fearful thing to fall in the hands of angry God (Hebrews)
Do we have faith for the broken? Do we have faith for the Lost? What about the physically ill? The Lord's plan since the beggining is to bring mankind to himself.
Our father is the perfect lover he had his perfect angels, and even when he created the world he had some perfect creatures that refelcted his Glory, and uniqueness in every way. But he wanted to create a lover for himself.. someone he would fight for, someone that would ravish his heart, someone that he would long for, so he created us.. beloved we are the apple of his eye.. Israel is the apple of his eye, us gentiles who have been grafted in have been grafted in to his loving gaze. His firey jelous gaze, in the end he will have us. I'm not sure what that looks like.. My eyes cannot fathom the day of the Lord. But over and over again he tells the people when he brings about signs, wonders, and miracles.. behold the kingdom has been brought near. Well if the kingdom is forcefully advancing and forceful men lay hold of it, and the kingdom is getting near, and all mankind is shaking, and their hearts are in longing for eternity since he set that desire there. Shouldn't we stir up our inner man to pray for Faith.. if we are forceful men and women beloved, let's have the faith that moves the mountains.. let's go hand in hand and accomplish what the Lord already wants to do. When the son of man returns will he find that faith on the earth? Will he beloved, will we be crying out night and day to the good judge? Our loving father.. or will we be lovers of ourselves? Loving to hear what tickles our ears? Are our conversations to please him? If their not to love and honor him.. than what right do we have to take his breadth that he so freely gives us and to talk with the lips he made for kissing him. The psalms says Kiss the son lest he be angry.. Kiss the son Beloved!

11 Serve the LORD with fear
and rejoice with trembling.

12 Kiss the Son, lest he be angry
and you be destroyed in your way,
for his wrath can flare up in a moment.
Blessed are all who take refuge in him.

Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, step into the faith the armor that he has set up for you, lay hold of his heart by cleansing the inside of your cup. Pray to line up your heart with his that's what pray does.. and contend, intercede, and weep and fast for what the Lord wants to do.. he intercedes for us, lets join in him with Faith!

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Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. precious one that I know.. beloved savior, sweet abba, the son of David! , Son of man!, do not pass me by.. without your touch I will fall into misery, without your love I'll die, I need your fragrance, I liked when you embraced me I was messed up for days after you held me.. Holy spirit rest on my soul, remove the veil. The veil of deceit, sin, selfishness, or hatred. Make me love my mom again.. do some supernatural work. Let me give into the kingdom more than I would on my own, let me pray more than I can on my own, let me love with more love that is in me, I want to decrease so that you can increase.

Jesus.. You know what has been pricking my heart lately.. You know Jesus...
Desire to give all to you, yet your quiting me down, asking me to wait, Yes Lord I will seek your face.
I will wait for your promises I will hold fast. I know that your purposes will come to past, o0o woe is me a women with unclean lips and I dwell among those with unclean lips. I desire to be yours yet I can barely lift my face towards heaven.. because I am NOTHING and you have given me mercy. I didn't just one day decide to get my act together, you supernaturally chose me, put your loving imprint on my soul and I will never be the same. I thirst, I long, I pant for this living G-d to dwell among the land of the living.. to see your agape love all around me, to breath in your zoe breadth of LIFE. I am dead to this world yet alive in Christ!

Jesus you know what's been on my heart you see all my insecurities, you see every hidden place, you see the confusion the lies of the enemy. I ask for a few things..
With all the wacky people that I've met, with all the confusion that I've seen, with all the legalism, the religiousity, the faith in a doctrine or denomination, I have your word, I have your holy spirit, I have your peace.. You see the hearts of every person and you will weigh each deed.. not just by the law but you will weigh our love and faith in obtaining the law. The law says do not committ adultery and you stepped in and said do not even lust in your heart.. Jesus gave us grace to not just do the law but to carry the same spirit that fulfills the law..
21"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder,[a] and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' 22But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother[b]will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca,[c]' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell.

Jesus didn't come to make things easy.. he came to make things pure. He raised the standard of the law.. the law judged the outside. Jesus took us by suprise and judged our hearts, and in that we all stand condemned. We all have fallen short of his sweet Glory with no way of obtaining it again. Yet our father in his great mercy gave us supernatural grace to have the same spirit that brings life to destroy the work of sin/death inside of us. Greater who is us than who is in this world.
Hallelujah! You are making things pure, your purifying the inside of the cup! Don't let us be white washed tombs! You see through all our religious efforts, all our masquerades, all our vain attempts and selfish conceit. You see our hearts! Oo0o we cry out for mercy and grace! You who sees every faucet of our hearts, even the faucets that are unknown to us. Holy spirit lead us in all truth show us our impurities so that we can be refined.

38"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'[g] 39But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

He did the impossible he weighed the laws.. like when the pharisee saw the samaritan it would've been unlawful for him to touch something unclean especially on the sabbath. But Jesus gives this parable to say "Hey their are two conflicting laws.. should he touch what is unclean on the sabbath? Or should he love his neighbor as himself? What was the higher law beloved? He says if we love our neighbor as ourselves that all the laws are fulfilled in that law. That's what Jesus did for us, he was the law in the flesh, and all that he did was fulfilled in that commandment to love mankind more than he loved himself. To take on our sin, our shame, so that he could honor the father. He didn't do it be righteous, he didn't do it for any other reason other than his love for us. He bought us with a price!


jESUS i ASK..
Give me patience to wait on your promises, I will unceasingly Pray!
Lord Because I trust you and can't care for anything apart from you, so I don't want it if it's not you. It's you who teaches us how to love selflessly, you know if my heart is ready to die to myself once again and start a new life with another. You know who he is, you know father and our marriage will reflect your heart towards your beloved bride, your beloved life, your beloved sanctuary, your "church" we like to say.. Even though that word has lost it's meaning.

Father you know the direction my life is going to take, springs of living water wash out all that is of myself. I want to Glorify you with my life, to die is to gain!

Jesus thank you for this.. I LOVE YOU TONIGHT, LET ME LOVE YOU MORE TOMMORROW!

True Purity.

I haven't really figured out what this blog is.. is it a prayer offered up to Jesus? Is it confessions, and scramblings of thoughts that come out of a pocket in my heart that the holy spirit has been pouring into and pruning? I'm not sure but I felt compelled to type out exactly what I mean Jesus.. you know my heart.. now let me articulate..
Jesus what is purity? Beloved what is purity? There's a scripture in Pslms that asks who can ascend to the mountain of the Lord? One with a pure heart and clean hands, one that doesn't lift their soul to another, or swear falsly

Pslm 24 Who may ascend the hill of the LORD ?
Who may stand in his holy place?

4 He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not lift up his soul to an idol
or swear by what is false. [a]

5 He will receive blessing from the LORD
and vindication from God his Savior.

6 Such is the generation of those who seek him,
who seek your face, O God of Jacob. [b]
Selah

7 Lift up your heads, O you gates;
be lifted up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.

8 Who is this King of glory?
The LORD strong and mighty,
the LORD mighty in battle.

9 Lift up your heads, O you gates;
lift them up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.

10 Who is he, this King of glory?
The LORD Almighty—
he is the King of glory.
Selah

Jesus I had an encounter in my room with you when I was seeking your face, when I challenged you as a teenager that I wasn't going to chase you unless you were real and authentic and I gave you everything I had those few days and you wrecked me. I still remember that sweet simple message you gave me that pierced my heart for the past six years. I kept praying it I remember it was sweet to my soul, I wanted a pure heart, and clean hands. I wanted to pure in my intentions and affections I just wanted to be real I wanted clean hands. The holy spirit had spoken to me that it's all about being pure, but can we be pure on our own? Certainly not! We need you holy spirit to lead us in all truth, see my heart is deceitfully wicked I will seek the holy spirit for my blessings, my spiritual hype, my word or prophecy, my gifts, my attention, my respect, my name, my Glory, my fame, my future, My husband, my ministry, my name sake, to save my own face. But Jesus had to circumsize layer after layer of why I need to seek him. A lot of things have been pricking my heart lately.. Maybe it's satan trying to discourage me or maybe it's the holy spirit pricking me to test my own heart. Whatever it is, it's put the fear of G-d in me and even as I type my soul is longing for the Lord. Because he's the only one I can hold onto right now. I went to see some friends lead worship the other night, these guys are amazing talented and annointed and I'm pretty sure all of the charismatic southern church go-ers know this also. So their of course was a lot of excitement leading up to them leading worship, probably a lot of impure motives to see these talented musicians play, probably a lot of misplaced hye. He addressed the church with a rebuke for the church's sake when ushering in the presence of the Lord. I'm sure he knows just like every other minister that even the audience has false expectations. He basically made some statements that were bold and upfront about the true reasons to come to a worship night and then gave the opportunity for the audience to leave, it was very good. Reminded me of Keith Green in a lot of ways. I felt really had peace when he addressed the audience with this message, I was cleansing my own soul of false expectations of a "Bless Me" meeting ,and just wanted to stare into my father's heart and know him. And being ushered into worship with the washing of a rebuking cleanse made my heart tender. We then just waited on the Lord, it was good. But towards the end of the night as they jumped from one song to the next I started to fix my eyes off Jesus and was wondering about some of the crazy audience members. I feel as if I've gotten into this place of really realising when the Lord and the holy spirit shows up verses us just substituting the real holy spirit for a false cop out. I didn't know if the pple that were acting crazy falling on the floor were really getting touched or not, I didn't know if the guy was really getting healed, or if some of the girls really knew that this wasn't a concert and we probably shouldn't be jumping on chairs when are shirts are low and shorts too short. Ok.. so you see hear are all my filthy judgemental thoughts, Who am I to judge? I was so refreshed that the church had been rebuked yet I had fallen into the same thing I was warned against. My eyes became off Jesus.. see instead of being so concerned about the holy spirit showing up and obsessing over us having a bless me meeting. I became the holy spirit judge, judging the hearts of God's people making sure if the holy spirit did move with healings and power people were recognizing that verses their own flesh. My own wickedness kinda disgusted me.. and made me realise how horrible I am and how much I was missing out on just loving him during the service.The holy spirit resists the proud but gives grace to the humble, even if those pple expected such a might move of the holy spirit they got caught up doing crazy things in faith to manipulate or bring the move of the Lord. That's still more pure, than me judging them and not focusing on Jesus. Even if those girls were treating it like a concert, maybe they were really excited to listen to music that honored G-d and maybe they haven't gotten conviction on modesty, their motives are still more pure than my judgemental ones. The Lord says that we cannot judge people's hearts we can judge the sin but we can't assume the root of the sin.. because some people yes even christians are ignorant and without the holy spirit bringing conviction of things and shining light on dark areas who are we to judge? What is not brought into light?

My heart is deceitfully wicked.


I had another instance recently that really has messed me up but I want to elaborate more on that later....my back is really bothering me right now, Jesus please heal my back.